FR: Baby Steps and the Ominous Cellphone IOD
It has been just over a month now since I got back into the game. I am a temporary transplant to South Florida. When I arrived here the doors of the PUA
community flew open and I have had the chance to cross paths with some really fun, cool guys who are committed to using this art and social science to unravel one of the greatest mysteries in the universe: Women.
Though I have had great successes with women and relationships in my life, I have also had great failures. Failures that have driven me again and again to return to the drawing board to figure out what went wrong along the way. As I mentioned in my post "He's Beginning to Believe" I had previous experience in the community some years ago but let it go by the wayside when I got into a relationship. That being said I have been working to integrate the venusian arts to compliment the bit of natural game that I have. It is often a struggle as I feel like I am regressing in my success rate, though many of the masters say, you sometimes have to get worse before you get better.
I am a guy with this natural disposition that attracts hot women. Unfortunately it is a power I have yet to learn how to harness and control. Last Friday night I had this one sexy woman bouncing back and forth between her husband and me as she kissed him and had him buy me a drink and then came and hung on me and was kissing my neck and then back over to smack him in the ass and call out to me "I totally love my husband". Then she was back to dancing up on me. They could have been swingers or something for all I know. The thing is though that this kind of thing is not uncommon for me. When I'm out at a bar or club just hanging out I will have girls hanging on me and trying to kiss me. I just can't seem to make it work when I want it to with exactly who I want to.
Two months ago I was not in the habit of talking to strange, hot women on the street or in the club. Today, I have no hesitation in opening just about any set. I go in with confidence, open and stack forward. I kino escalate when I can rember to do so. I disqualify, I throw negs and weave in some cocky comedy. Some nights and days I am really on my game though most of the times it seems I am chalking up more experiences that allow me to assess "what the hell went wrong". There are so many pieces to learning this art, this skill set, that I often will forget one or two of them when I am in set and I don't get to the seduction phase like I want to.
There is this one thing that keeps happening to me. In about 50% of the sets I go into these days, inevitably one of the girls pulls out her cell phone and starts texting in the first few minutes of the interaction. This frustrates the fuck out of me. It is often the AFOG and if the other girls aren't strong enough in their own frames, it will make the ones who show initial interest disconnect because their AFOG is doing so. This does not really happen in mixed sets I have noticed which makes me think that I am not disqualifying myself enough as a potential suitor in all-girl sets. mixed sets are easier for me to open and hook than all-girl sets I have realized. I have tried calling the chick out on her clearly antisocial behavior and she is often like "whatever". It really befuddles and agitates me this "cellphone IOD". Has anyone else come across this problem and had success with remedying it?
Guys, if you have read this far and have any viable feedback for me, especially guys who have some experience and success in the community, please give a shout out and let me know the holes you see in my game that I am not seeing. I leave south Florida in a couple more weeks and I want to blow up these sticking points by then.
Holla Back,
D$
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5 comments
Call her attention back to
Call her attention back to you by blatantly addressing the issue at hand. "Put that away, ok back to me where was I? Oh yeah, so anyway..."
Thanks for the reminder. See
Thanks for the reminder. See FR
below->
Yo Nightwolf, Bit of a
Yo Nightwolf,
's there and not a lot of AMOG
s due to the fact the most of the guys were playing for the other team. The cute girl I mentioned to you from the dinner party last week asked me to come along with her and it was great to roll with a pivot. Anyways, I decided to amp up the cocky-funny ala Nightwolf style and I got to learn a lot form my interactions. With a couple of chicks I took it over the edge where they were like "Dude you are an asshole". None the less when I saw them at other locations later on it was like it didn't matter. The girl who was the most put off, I made fun of her for getting so upset and gave her a little nickname and she gave me one and it was a fun interaction.
Bit of a breakthrough night tonight. Got invited out to an art opening near our usual WPB stomping grounds. This little venue called The Lounge. Its a bit of a gay venue, literally, but there were mad HB
I was in this one 2 set
that I played it real well, ignoring the target
and making statements to her friend before I would address her questions at me. She was giving me all sorts of IOI
's slowly licking her lips, repeatedly qualifying to me like "oh I did that too!" and "no way me too", kinoing me. It was on! I threw negs pretty well ("Wow you have really amazing blue eyes. They are totally fucking creepy!"). However, the moment that there was something in her life that I was generally interested in, I showed interest and gave her value and lost all the power in the interaction in a split second. This is the biggest hole in my game. Though I may be naturally fun and sociable, it clearly hasn't repeatedly gotten me the results when I want them. I realize I am doing this in most of the set
s I open in one way or another and that's why I get blown out. I need to go way further outside my comfort zone in how I interact in the field. I have rationalized it that I am good at socializing so why not make what I do work better, but I see now that would be counterproductive. Clearly I have that attractive vibe that I eluded to in my post above and it was again made clear when my pivot and I bounced to Monarchy and she was like "man, you are getting so many looks and sexual glances from all these women." I should add that she was not an informed pivot about what I was doing and was not just pumping my ego, I think she was surprised that I wasn't phased by it. I was just like "Yeah, I Know" and in my head I was like "same story as always, but why can't I get those reactions consistently in set?" I know now that I need to plow forward with the material and not be swayed by my old social habits which sneak in like a thief in the night. Nightwolf, you tried to convey this to me last night when we were playing Foosball with those girls, but it took me opening a few more set
s between my last one before leaving last night and a few more set
s tonight, and it is clear that I need to change directions and navigate differently than I have been in the field. Its amazing to see how women respond to assumed higher value. Hopefully this will be the piece I need to take my game to the next level. See y'all this weekend.
D$
Ok, so I'm very proud that
Ok, so I'm very proud that you are using my feedback in a productive way. I think now that you are making some realizations of what needs to be done, its time to put it into play and change your social views towards their reactions. A few key points to follow when using Nightwolf's version of cocky-funny:
1. You should be completely detached from any outcome or result. anything you say should be said because its funny to you, not because your trying to get a response. (don't be try-hard)
2. Don't wait for a reaction, just keep up the witty cocky-funny statements, and of course use YOUR personality to accomplish this and don't be afraid to push beyond your comfort zone. Mystery calls this throw and go. Say your neg or disqualifier and then stack forward with another story, joke, etc.
3. Be fun and playful. It doesn't matter what you say, but HOW you say it. The delivery is way more important than the words. If its not a big deal to you, it won't be a big deal to her/them.
4. Take whats currently uncomfortable and make it comfortable. Some girls/people are going to react differently to some of the things you say. Some will think its funny and some may call you an asshole as you have already found out. (believe it or not, this is a good thing!) The key is to focus on your delivery and be non-reactive, whether you get a positive or negative reaction. You will become more comfortable through practice and repetition. Just as you are uncomfortable when sarging
at a new venue and you become comfortable over time, so too will you become comfortable with your new persona the more you use it.
Also to address your target
's response to you becoming generally interested toward something cool about her or her life, this is a good thing. Don't assume you have given up power. Again, its all about delivery. Showing your appreciation for her is necessary in every set
. It just needs to be done at the proper time. I will elaborate on this more the next time we meet, just remind me! It sounds like your doing great out there. Keep on Sarging!
NW
Yo, true dat about showing
Yo, true dat about showing interest at the proper time. I have been listening to Lovedrop's "Mind of Mystery" Audio and the dude is a genius. He explains the Venusian Arts really well by adding breadth and depth to Mystery's brilliant model. I have heard it before, but I heard it again today. Don't show interest before you have generated attraction in her and hooked the set
.
's in a more comprehensive way. I am confident that I will be able to move deeper into my interactions now with this in mind.
He also breaks down some DHV