FR: Alpha Male Body Language (or the lack therof)

The other day I was walking up to a cafe, and I reached the door at the same time as a HB. Now I already knew this girl; she used to work at a restaurant in town, and I'd gotten to know her a bit. I was in a relationship at the time, though, and never pursued her. I'm single now, thus I was happy to see her.

We stood at the door and talked for a bit. I've always gotten a pretty good, flirty vibe off of her, and this convo was no exception. It went well for a couple minutes, then, when the conversation hit a natural pause, she opened the door and walked into the cafe. I followed her in.

And that was it. End of set. GAME OVER.

See, what happened was this: I really wasn't meaning to follow her. We just happened to be heading to the same place - to order coffee. But since she moved first - and since she had no way of knowing that I'd just arrived (the cafe has outdoor seating) - her perception was that I was following her inside to continue the conversation.

Her response was immediate and severe.

I wouldn't call this HB a 10, but she's certainly attractive, and I know she hits the clubs a lot, so she's probably used to being hit on. After following her about three steps, I felt the dynamic change. There was a different energy. After a few more steps we approached the bar, and she turned to me and said, "Well, it was nice seeing you!" in that unmistakable, fake-friendly, this-conversation-is-over tone.

"Ah, shit," I thought. As soon as she said it I realized what had happened. "I wasn't following you," I said, "I was coming in here too." It was too late though. I was in damage control mode, and to make it worse I just tried to explain my presence, another beta behavior.

We continued to talk a bit more as we waited for our drinks, but it was plain that I'd blown the set. It was obvious that she was continuing to talk, not out of desire, but out of politeness. Plus she was trapped, waiting for her coffee. She left as soon as she could.

Oh well. We learn more from our mistakes than from our successes.

That's what I love about this PUA stuff. In the past I might have taken it personally, or thought she was a stuck-up bitch - or even worse, thought she was into me! Now it's just calibration - analyze and learn from experience.