Sort of a combined Field Report and some Stream of Consciousness

This past Thursday, the Main Wing, N-Dub and I went to some of our usual venues for sarging. You should know that Florida is experiencing one of its coldest Winters in years at the moment, and places where we expected crowds were empty. We then bounced to another location, closer to where I live. Last week this venue was packed with people from one of the local colleges. This week it was nearly empty. It is an interesting venue, because in the day time and evening, it is a restuarant which caters to adults, and which has the most marvelous Argentinian girll and Italian inspired Argentinian food (Just as in the USA in the beginning of the 20th century when many Italians immigrated here, many Italians also immigrated to Argentina, influencing their Spanish and food.) On Thursday night, they remove all teh tables and turn the place in to a small dance club with a DJ of some local fame. I am very good at making excuses for not opening a set. She is too tall, or not pretty enough, or I know even before talking to her, that the set will flake out. It is silly thinking, which feeds in to AA ( approach avoidance ). That evening, my excuse was that they were too young. Every young woman in the palce was above 21. While some of you might find that your Puritanical or Victorian sensibilities are offended by this, let me remind you, 21 is very legal, and albeit not quite mature, mature enough to make decision for oneself. That being said, PU Arts are not about coitus with any and every girl possible, but about Epicurean pleasures of conversation and having fun. N-Dub opened several sets. There was even a young woman whom I saw about whom I made all sorts of excuses about her intellect and immaturity. N-Dub opened and k-closed her. From his debriefing later, I realized that all the things I had thought about her were not true, and that she was really quite smart and interesting. Where I bombed the set before even opening it, N-Dub did not have any such self limiting belief and was able to close her. There are several lessons in this: First, always open the set. What is the worst that can happened? If rejection is reframed into just another experimental trial to obtain data and experience, then any sense of failure or feeling of rejection gets removed. Next, keep opening sets, practice is the acquisition of experience and that results in skill improvement.

Later that evening, I got in to a conversation with the bartender. She possessed that unusual sort of beauty which makes a woman like Angelica Huston beautiful. At the moment I asked her for a drink, I was feeling as if my evening was a failure. My Wing was having fun in the corner kissing his target away, and I had opened nothing (actually, earlier I opened 2 -set which bombed terribly), but in the spirit of conversation and fun, I asked the bartender which languages she spoke, since she had an accent I could not identify. Lo! and Behold! after telling me where she was from, I greeted her in that language, and we talked for a moment and discovered that she and I actually spoke a nother language, orther than English. I began speaking with her in that language. You should know that although I am fluent, my American accent was always found to be funny when I speak that language. She and I talked and flirted and I #-closed. The lesson here is that things change quickly in a night, and that there are always pleasant surprises. Never shut down yoru even because of a sense of defeat, and always be open to opportunities and openings.

The other bit of information I would like to share is how a #-close is not really a close. This idea is not really mine. Mystery and some other mPUAs said this first. A number close is relaly just a solicitation for compliance and a sort of an IOI. Also, just because she gives you her number does not mean that she will actually answer the phone, want to talk to you, or call you back when you leave a message. By the time you call her, her whole mood and memory of you might have changed. Here is the story: A week ago, I got the number of a girl I met in a club. She was from a 3-set I opened. During the set, her two friends left. She continued talking to me, but, she was angry at men and hinted that she felt that men lied more than women because she had this boy friend who who had hurt her. (Guess which Opener I used.) When I asked her for her number, she was still in that agitated state. In effect, using NLP language, I became an anchor for that particular affective state. Also, Her two friends definitely did not give her approval for talking with me. In any case, N-Dub after told me not to expect that she would respond well when I called because of that. He was right. The details of her dismissiveness when I called are less important than teh lesson of not just getting her number and ending the set. Leave the set with everyone feeling happy and entertained or intrigued. The # is not the reward, it is merely a means to an end, which is either friendship or an f-close. Also, if you lose her friends, you lose her.

New bit: Last night, N-Dub and I went south and met up with another PUA with more time in the field working this. It was the first time N-Dub and I went out with two other PUAs. It was an interesting excercise switching off on Wings. E. has the same goals and perspective as we do so it was fun to compare styles.

Tonight, we go out again, which brings me to another recent realization. The Old School mPUAs are right, the only real way to learn this is to open 1,000 sets. The more you open, the less approach avoidance you will have. The more you open, the more you will learn. When you open many, many sets, eventually, it will feel comofrtable and natural, and it will be just another conversation which you cna direct instead of a conversation in which the intended target directs you. Open 1,000 Sets!!!!!