The biggest secret to inner game.

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The Biggest Secret To Inner Game!

By R.J.

If there is one inner game technique that I will recommend, this is it! I first came across
the idea years ago in Tony Robbins amazing book, 'Awaken the Giant within' (p.185).
I tested & developed it & have used it ever since to dramatically improve my quality of
life.

I use it when I’m coaching guys in the art of seduction. In fact, if they are not on top
of this mindset, they will find it difficult to find a woman & even if they do, will find it
hard to keep her or feel fulfilled in their relationship.

These are some of it's qualities........
· It works every time!
· It's incredibly easy to use!
· It has a priceless value as you will soon discover!
· It can transform negative states into positive ones within seconds!
· You are fully in control of it every time you use it!
· You can choose to experience any emotion at any time, no matter what!
· You don't have to know anything about psychology to put it into practice!
· You can use it to create better present, future & even past life experiences!
· You can use it in your own way & in your own time without relying on anyone!
· It will help you understand why you may have been experiencing negative
patterns!
· You can use it to improve any facet of your life!
· You can use it with others to change their emotional states!
· You can easily show others how to use it too!

Pretty grand claims aren't they? To be able to experience any emotion at any time,
no matter what? Who wouldn't want to be in a position like that?
So test it out today, then go back to this list of qualities a little while later & you will
see that it does hold water. In fact you will discover it will still hold water in years to
come........

Changing How We Feel.
We all like to change how we feel & if we want to though find it difficult to do within,
we look outside of ourselves for some assistance which includes:
· Drugs which also means cigarettes & alcohol.
· Frequently changing address because we're not happy where we live.
· Having to be in a relationship rather than choosing to be in one.
· Doing a job we don't really like so we can buy lots of things that we don't really
need.

Some of these pursuits can cost us an enormous amount of time, money & energy. I'm
not saying anything is good or bad, though if we are letting outside events, including
people control how we feel, we can become a slave to them.
On the other hand if we can have a reasonable amount of control over how we feel
inside, external experiences will have far less power over us.
Our feelings are connected to our thoughts; specific feeling can create certain thoughts.
Likewise, specific thoughts can create certain feelings, therefore if we can take
conscious control over our thoughts we can affect how we feel.
The challenge is finding an effective & easy way to do this.

Thought Control Techniques.
Over time there has been several approaches to controlling our thoughts, some
effective & some plain stupid.
There is a school of thought (no pun intended) that teaches the benefits of stopping
unwanted thoughts & bringing them under conscious control by saying something like
"STOP!" to ourselves when we become aware of the unwanted thoughts.
This appears to make sense on the surface though it's a little crude. Implying ANY
thought is not wanted may cause even more attention to be paid towards it becoming
self defeating.

Another method is accepting a negative thought & not trying to to fight it or suppress
it. I read once that you should imagine the thought like a cloud floating across the sky
in front of you. You just watch the thought & learn not to react towards it as it gradually
disappears from sight. This appears a little better; you become more of a passive
observer though it still doesn't explain how you can guide your thoughts in the direction
you want them to go.

A third way is 'Positive Thinking'. Especially at the beginning of the last century this was
looked upon as 1 answer to running our own minds. Pharmacist Emile Coué created the
concept of auto suggestion & coined the phrase 'Every day in every way you are getting
better & better’. The idea is to repeat a positive mantra to yourself several times each
day like the 1 just mentioned. If you've built up an unconscious habit of lots of negative
thinking, it can certainly break the cycle.

When I began to explore psychology, 1 of the techniques I immersed myself in for
several years was positive thinking & it certainly shifted my focus & helped me to
consciously lighten up, however it can feel a little unnatural & contrived especially if
we're trying to convince ourselves that we are happy when in fact we are actually
feeling terrible or going through some very tough challenges in life. I certainly wouldn't
knock the concept of positive thinking as consciously disciplining ourselves to think
positive thoughts appears to be far more useful than unconsciously allowing ourselves
to become submerged in negative thought patterns.

My understanding of how we think was taken to the next level by Tony Robbins. I
related to his model because I felt it was far more sophisticated than positive thinking,
much more natural & useful.
It appears to be a well structured model for explaining the foundation of thought itself.
No small claim!
To begin with it helps if we can understand the process of how we think. If we can
understand this, we should be closer to having influence over our thoughts & therefore
have more conscious control over how we feel.

So how exactly do we think?
What is the process of our thinking?
Well, most of the time we are evaluating information. We evaluate what we see or hear,
then make a decision whether or not to take action to use that information.
What exactly is an evaluation process?
It’s a series of questions. Questions appear to be the foundation of human thought. It's
a natural process. We do it everyday. At this moment in time you are perhaps
consciously or unconsciously questioning what you are reading right now.

Questions like:
"Where is this leading to?"
"What is he talking about?"
"How can I use this?" etc.
You may have suspended your decision making process for the time being, though you
will be forming questions.

Thomas Jefferson. 3rd president of the United States.

"Judge a person by their questions, rather than their answers."
2 Types of Questions - Disempowering & Empowering.
A disempowering question could be something like:
"Why do I always screw things up?"
or
"Why do I feel so depressed?"
We may find the answer to our question & therefore justify our experience, though the
answer won’t help us change or move forward, in fact it can help reinforce our
disempowering state.
An empowering question could be something like:
"How can I turn this into a positive experience?"
or
"What actions am I going to take right now to take myself to the next level?"
Which ever path in life we choose to take, will be guided by either disempowering or
empowering questions. Either path will become deeper & wider with repeated use,
creating stronger & stronger neural pathways in our brains. In time, they become
automatic, unconscious responses that can work for or against us.
Questions that we ask of ourselves, consciously or subconsciously on a consistent
basis, can have a massive impact on our experience of life.

Have you ever been aware of a pattern of your own behaviour that keeps repeating
itself, & even if you didn't want it, no matter how much you analysed it, it just wouldn't
go away?
Take a moment now to write down some of the questions (sometimes just 1 question)
that you have been asking of yourself related to this repeated pattern of behaviour. You
may discover that these questions are creating the pattern itself.
Or think of someone you know who keeps going from 1 drama to the next. If you are
able to discover the questions they are asking themselves, you may discover a similar
thing.

On the other hand, find someone who appears to go from 1 success to another in their
life as they appear to attract positive experiences to them effortlessly. Likewise, if you
are able to discover which questions they ask on a consistent basis, you will find that
they will be a set of empowering questions.

Questions Create Our Experience Of Reality.
These are a few specific, quality questions we can begin to experiment with right now.
They can help change how we feel within moments, no matter how we feel, no matter
where we are. (Remember the importance of creating a question that focusses on what
we do want rather than trying to get away from what we don't want).

· What am I happy about right now?
· What am I proud of right now?
· What am I appreciating right now?
· What am I enjoying right now?
· What am I excited about right now?
· What am I committed to right now?
If the answer that appears is something like "Absolutely nothing!", simply re-phrase
the question to:
"What could I be happy about right now if I wanted to be?"
or
"What could I be proud of right now if I wanted to be?" etc.
The mind then has to come up with a positive answer!
To reinforce your new feeling even more you can then ask,
"So what exactly is it about ..............that makes me happy?"

& to reinforce that feeling even more you can ask,
"So how does that make me feel?"
After you've begun to experience how you can easily consciously control the direction
of your thoughts & feelings, experiment with your own questions.
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We all want to feel good about ourselves & the quickest way to change how we feel is
to change our focus & the most effective way to change our focus is by asking a new
question.
We ask questions everyday so it certainly makes sense to ask quality questions.
It's important to remember that because we are now aware & able to experience any
emotional state we wish, doesn't mean that we are avoiding problems or pretending
they don't exist; that would be delusional, though creating a positive state will help us
become far more resourceful for dealing with those problems.

We know that trying to make important decisions whilst stressed or depressed for
example, can perhaps create even more problems.
In my past sometimes I would have a problem & it could affect how I felt for days,
weeks or even months or years. It would go round & round in my mind affecting my
mood, decisions & actions. I had no idea that I was adding to it by asking myself
problem-focused questions!
When I first started consciously directing my thoughts, other than blowing my mind, I
still found it hard to believe that something as valuable as this could be that simple. I
fully understood that now I had the power to change how I felt anytime & anywhere,
forever. What a position to be in, however I thought there must be a catch to this. I
had to find a way of testing it from another angle to give me more of a reality check.

I thought to myself,
"What is a useful question to ask right now?"
At the time, I was a heavy smoker. My health was beginning to suffer & I was getting
short of breath. I had focused lots of attention on trying to stop smoking with no
success & had made the whole experience into a frustrating epic inside my head.
Instead I asked the question,
"What exactly is it that I want to change?"
The answer was I wanted to improve my breathing.

Instead of focusing lots of frustrated energy on trying to stop smoking, I asked myself,
"What is an effective way to improve my breathing?"
At first I couldn't think of anything. I remembered the importance of repeatedly asking
the same question. Nothing came to mind then after a few days, I asked a friend,
"What is an effective way to improve my breathing?"
He said, "Skipping, skipping is aerobic exercise & is very good for your breathing."

I thought, "That's interesting. I wouldn't have thought of that!" At the time I had a large
patio at the rear of my flat so I went out & bought a skipping rope & began skipping on
it every day for about 10 mins periods. Initially I was puffing & panting though within
approx 10 days my breathing began to noticeably improve.
"Wow!" I thought, 'Result!'

I continued to ask my new question to see what else would happen.
"What is an effective way to improve my breathing?"
Again, I didn't form an answer for a few days, then a light bulb went on in my head,
"Cycling!" How could I have been so stupid not to have thought of that before?
I had a bike & I hadn't used it for ages. So I started cycling & continued skipping. Again,
approx 2 weeks later my breathing began to improve again. Result! I continued asking
my new question. A little while later the answer was "Swimming."
I was now skipping, cycling & swimming & because I was devoting more time to being
healthy, not only did my breathing start to improve as well as my mental & emotional
state, I significantly cut down smoking cigarettes without even trying!
I started to get excited! I explained to a few friends what I had been experimenting
with. I could effectively change my focus & get positive results very quickly, whilst
before I had been asking questions which were keeping me stuck in an unwanted state.
They listened politely though naturally didn't feel as passionate about it or saw the
value in it as much as me as they were obviously asking different questions they would
like answers to themselves!

Then a friend asked me,
"What stroke do you do when you go swimming?"
I said,
"The breast stroke".
He said,
"If you are taking this seriously & want to get the max out of your swimming sessions,
you need to do the crawl."
"Oh" I thought, "looks like I've caught myself out here & hit an obstacle" as I hadn't
swam the crawl in years & had given up on it as I thought it was much too hard work,
though because my mind was by now opened & focused by my new question, it tipped
the balance enough for me to attempt the crawl again. The next time I went swimming
other than doing my regular routine, I swam half a length of crawl, then another until
I had managed to swim 2 lengths. It wasn't far, yet it was a few strokes in the right
direction.

Then another light bulb switched on in my mind,
"Of course, I'll ask myself a new question! How can I improve my swimming
technique?"
Initially the answer I created was to go to the library & study some books on swimming
though after doing so, felt it wasn't grabbing me. I continued to ask my new question.
The next answer I came up with was to watch other swimmers who swam the crawl
really well & to see if I could copy them. I stood in the water in the shallow end & as I
watched I could see they were using a much more relaxed technique with less effort,
smoother movements & appeared to swim more like fishes, so I tried my best to copy
them.

To cut a long story short, it took me just 10 weeks to go from being short of breath to
swimming crawl in the fast lane! That was my personal tested introduction into the
power of questions & how they can change our focus quickly & effectively.
Voltaire. French writer and historian.
"We should not only master questions, but also act upon them,
and act definitely."
The challenge for most of us is that when we do have a problem, it can be so easy to
fall into the trap of focusing on & analysing the problem, hoping that this will solve it.
And what happens when we focus on the problem? We begin to experience even more
of what we don’t want to experience! Even worse, for many people this can develop
into an extremely limiting lifestyle.

This possibly explains why clients of analysts & some counsellors can spend months or
even years in therapy, sometimes coming out of it more confused than when they
started!
It's like playing the same old song repeatedly, expecting to hear a new one.
Sometimes 1 question can keep us stuck in a disempowering state for years, or should
I say an unquestioned answer to a question? The answer may have turned into a belief
about something & the most effective way to begin changing a belief is to question it!
It's also important to remember that a specific question elicits a specific answer.

For example, if I said to you,
“If you wanted to relax deeper right now, what exactly would you need to do to
experience that state.........?"
(Do so right now).
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You should be able to access a clear, specific answer. You may have altered your
posture, your movements & facial expression, or you may have slowed down your
breathing pattern or closed your eyes for example.
Another question you may already be asking is ...........
How Can We Use This Information To Attract Women?
1 of the reasons why some guys become interested in the PUA community is because
a lack of self esteem has driven them there, especially as there are so many useful
techniques available within the community. This is not to say that there is a lack of
people with low self esteem elsewhere, far from it. Low self esteem exists in a high %
of the population.

1 trapdoor to fall through is to assume that if we learn a complicated PUA routine (read
something most likely to not work in the real world), & put this on top of our persona
which may be experiencing low self esteem, we will have amazing success with women.
A little bit like putting a plaster on top of another plaster.
Learn from any PUA with a good reputation & track record & they will always emphasize
the importance of inner game. It's step 1 of the whole process. Bypass inner game &
no matter how much PU material you devour & master, you will have difficulty getting
the results you want & even if you do achieve some of them, you may not be able to
fully appreciate it when you do get there!
Low self esteem questions may be something like:
"Why is it that I can't get a girlfriend?"
or
"Why does every woman pass me by?"
If we find that we have been asking disempowering questions similar to these, sure
we’ll find an answer to justify our personal experiences, though these type of questions
will not only make us feel bad, they will help reinforce the relevant disempowering
psychological states.
Are you aware that you are asking any problemfocused
questions on a consistent basis?

Awareness of these type of questions can help us realise that if we want to change or
improve our experience of life & in this particular case, our experience with women,
using solution-focused questions can play a big part in attracting who we do want into
our lives & how to effectively get results, now & in our future.
If we are aware of any habitual limiting questions that we have been asking ourselves,
we need to weed them out at the first opportunity & replace them with positive ones.
So let’s look at some examples of useful solution-focused questions that we can begin
to use.
Write the answers to the following questions down right now:
“What natural assets do I have that I know women will appreciate?”
“What actions am I going to take now to make myself more attractive to
women?”
“How can I add more value to myself this week?”
Have you written your answers down yet? If not, do so right now!
If you’re not used to asking questions similar to these, initially you may have to think
longer & continue asking until the answers begin to appear. As you develop your own
solution-focused questions, practical answers that you can use will begin to appear for
you more easily as you create a new experience of reality. Just like exercising a muscle
in a gym, it takes repetition for the results to appear. You may also find it highly
effective if you write your questions down to help you remember them therefore adding
strength to your focus. It's also interesting to read through some of your questions in
years to come & realise that you've found the answers to so many of them!
Remember that it's just as important to weed out any old habitual problem-focused
questions whilst we replace them with our new solution-focused questions. We should
become aware of a noticeable shift in our perception & how we feel very quickly just by
asking our new questions. We ask questions every day so it makes sense to ask ones
that are going to show us how to achieve what we do want instead of investing time &
energy into analysing problems in the hope that they will go away.
Whatever we choose to focus on, we get more of. Another thing we will discover to our
advantage will be that by focusing on what we do want instead of what we don't want,
our so called 'problems' will begin to break down & atrophy by themselves simply
because of a lack of attention!
It helps being patient with the whole questioning process. Some answers will appear
immediately, though some may take longer. I read somewhere once that when an oil
tanker at sea has it's course altered by the smallest of degrees, initially no change can

be seen in direction, though that very small change in course will make a massive
change in the result of it's destination within a relatively short amount of time.
For a reality check you may find it interesting to listen to some guys who are not
succeeding with women to discover what questions they tend to ask of themselves.
Listen carefully to their answers. Next find some guys who appear to attract one girl
after another & ask them what questions they are asking. They will be very different &
you may find it useful to adopt some of theirs for yourself.
If you're interested in experiencing far more positive & effective results in your life, you
may find asking empowering, quality questions to be 1 of the best ways to achieve
them.

It's simple to use, can improve any facet of life & it works every time! What more could
you ask for?

If you want to know more about www.mantek1.com 1-2-1 coaching workshops, I’ll be
happy to hear from you.

e:yesworld1@yahoo.co.uk
m:07765693143

Respect.
R.J.
July 2010
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