Accessing Your Inner King

Should you act differently ? Should you be different ?

These last two months, I’ve been reading, researching, interviewing, and testing profiles, trying to determine how to successfully date after the age of 35 or so ... as you leave the ricochet and climb of your “Prince” period ... and begin to step into being the King that women look for from a man of your age.

Today I want to share with you some thoughts I have about your expression of Kingship as it relates to order.

Maybe it’s me, and maybe it’s you too, but when I get into a woman’s car and it’s a cluttered and filthy mess ... I turn off. To me it reflects not only her hygiene and how she might keep house, but it is a reflection of how she worships or doesn’t worship her own body as a vehicle of the radiant feminine.

I want and expect my woman to be a deliverer of grace and beauty into my life. When we go out, when we stay in, when we make love. I want her to deliver what I can’t, which is a kind of liquid sensual environment, a shimmering and delicious bed of being for me to take and taste and shape and raise ...

So …

What does your ideal she expect from you ? From me ?

She wants a man. Not a boy. A boy’s room is a mess. A college guy’s room stinks of strewn laundry. Ok. No problem.

But a man of 35 ? Of 40 ?

Problem !

As you move into Kingship in your life, you become a source of order for your woman ... a reassuring bulwark against chaos ... the chaos of life’s dangers, of her whipsawing emotions, her inner demons, her fears, and yes, of economic worries, too.

In archetypal terms, the King is a slayer of Chaos … which is represented in the old stories as demons, dragons, serpents and monsters. The King slays chaos, establishes order, and allows the realm to flourish. Men can work in peace. Women can sleep safely at night. Children can play and grow.

You convey to women this crucial archetypal king energy by demonstrating that you have created order in your own life. What may seem small to you, such as dishes in the sink, socks on the floor, papers strewn around your living space, may grow magnified in a woman’s eyes. This chaos at home or in your car subtly conveys to her that you are not a force of order ... therefore not of safety.

Do you display manly Order to women ? Or boyish Disorder ?

There are, of course, larger indications that you are not a Bringer of Order, including messiness in your personal relationships. You may not like everyone you meet, and you may genuinely resent your exes. But if you continually and repeatedly rage against others, any others ... including your ex ... you are showing women that you are giving other people power over your internal order. You are not King of your inner realm.

So, if you are feeling rage at others, handle it. This may and probably does require help ... a therapist, a trained coach, or a sustained relationship with a spiritual teacher or practice. In my opinion, a man who can call you on your shit is more important than all of these. It is my experience that there is nothing as powerful as having another man equally committed to the journey of self-mastery to help you achieve the Kingship you must.

Keep order in your car, your home, your internal emotional life. Get help. Refine yourself always in the company of other good men.

And demonstrate to women that you are continually embodying King energies by embodying order ... tending both your external and your internal realms.