You Want To Bathe In What ?

It started in a club in Prague on Friday night: the type of place where porn stars, models and a lot of “fake” people go. I was there with two mates and we had our party hats on. I was moving over the dance floor talking to all the interesting people around there. While stroking this cute short girl’s hair like a dog (“Oh she’s so cute, yes she is, yes she is !”) I noticed two beautiful girls parading around the club like they owned the place. A few minutes later one of them, HBArrogant, approached me:

So I give her a cigarette and we chat for a while. As a foreigner living in Czech Republic, I often get the same question which I answer with, “I’m from Mozambique, maaan.”

So after joking around a bit I took her upstairs to sit down. Doing some basic palm reading, we built rapport and talked about current and past relationships. I found out she’s a smart girl and not promiscuous as she seemed at first. I took her number and told her I wanted to go back to my friends.

Back in the club she went to the bar, and her hot friend HBWowsheshot came towards me, dancing and touching me. We played a bit and joked around, but as HBArrogant returned I didn’t feel comfortable number closing her friend.

HBArrogant grabbed me and started dancing in a very provocative way (just the way I like it), throwing tests at me here and there: “If you touch my ass I will have your ass kicked.” So guess what happened: obviously I pinched her ass and she immediately approached this huge gorilla, telling him to beat me up. I befriended him within seconds, establishing social proof and passing this shitty shit test. I couldn’t help but making out a bit, even though I generally try to save that for later.

Later that evening I opened HBDD after an evening full of eye contact. We chatted a bit and she told me she works in porn (nice !) doing administration for her boyfriend’s production studio (oh …)

I took her number and never bothered to contact her again. I prefer not to piss off boyfriends unless it is really worthwhile ;)

As I left the club later that night, I looked back at a fun night but kicked myself in the nuts a couple of times for not getting HBWowsheshot’s number.

I wouldn’t see HBArrogant for three months because we were both pretty busy. But here is some idea of the SMS contact we had.

Sunday after, I phoned her but no answer. But Monday morning while I was in a meeting:

We kept exchanging texts trying to set up a date, basically sharing our weekly schedules to find a shared free evening. After one month we succeeded, but I needed to cancel last minute because work was running late.

Another month later, I pushed my daily planning to the limit, incorporating work, gym, a beer with the Prague pickup forum and a meeting for coffee with HBArrogant. Fortunately I could leave the Prague pickup guys early, as most of them did not speak English properly or did not feel the urge to try. Reminder to self: collect English speaking community members and start the Prague expat lair.

On my way to the meeting place (50 meters from my home in the center) HBArrogant sent a text:

The week after:

What I usually do is I take David DeAngelo’s approach: don’t make any plans and have her blend into my life. Since I was planning to have dinner and relax after my gym session, I decided to invite her in for this. She owed me by flaking the last time so I figured I could use this leverage to get her directly to my house instead of going somewhere neutral. So in the afternoon I wrote to her:

As always, I was running behind schedule (this is really a disease …). So I managed to pick up groceries just in time and with my hair in just-out-of-bed mode after showering in the gym, I showed up at the square.

We greeted each other and I brought her to my place where I immediately put her on potato peeling duty. We chatted about parties, drugs, friends and work. I teased her a bit so it was fun, but I wanted to save the more serious seduction for dinner and after (I am really bad at multitasking !)

During dinner we moved onto relationships and sex, the perfect playground for stimulating fantasy using some of Ross Jeffries’ techniques. During the evening HBRussian was calling me but I didn’t feel like talking to her so I ignored her calls. However, it did remind me of telling HBArrogant the funny story in which HBRussian walked out on me after 10 minutes on a date when I playfully pushed her into a parked car (three times). Is that a blunder or a funny story ? I never know the difference …

I had little doubt about the outcome of this evening from the start, but when she told me that she only came for sex all doubt was removed. I invited her for wine on the couch where I escalated smelling her neck into kissing her neck, then her cheeks and her lips. Out of the blue some LMR came up where HBArrogant stated that it is so weird to be with somebody other than the guy she was used to for many years. I comforted her by saying that I had the same weird feeling and that it was arousing at the same time. “How do you know exactly what to say every time ?!” My biggest compliment ever.

This is basically as far as the technical pickup story goes, but I don’t want to withhold from you one of my newly learned lessons. This sweet, smart and arrogant girl asked me to dim the lights even further and her body language showed she felt a bit uncomfortable showing herself to me. I found out her secret reason was to let out her alter ego, her split personality.

She threw me on the bed and immediately started talking dirty: “Hmm I want to feel your big cock.” All initiative was taken out of my hands. I was feeling joy and fear at the same time. Then it happened: as she was on top, cursing and screaming… she suddenly slapped me ! Californication style ! That hurt ! That was hilarious ! What just happened ?!

A few moments later I got even more flabbergasted when she whispered in my ear: “Do you like getting wild ?” Sure. What ? You want to bathe in what ? You want me to pee on who ?! This would be something for next time, she said.

Let’s just say I’m still figuring out if this experience would broaden my horizon or simply leave a scar on my soul for the next fifty years.

After this “semi” wild session, HBArrogant went back into cute girl mode, getting dressed while I was arranging on the phone for HBRussian to make up for walking out by coming over to my place in a few days. No awkwardness ... she took her shoes and went home. I told her I knew it, she only used me for sex and didn’t even want to hang out afterwards.

Lessons learned:

A messed up hairdo doesn’t matter as long as you walk up straight.

It is great being honest. I didn’t need to hide my contact with other girls from her; it even made for great conversation.

Always number close, even when her friend standing next to you is your target, too.

Sweet girls can have huge (sick) tigers hidden deep inside.

Always save a sheet of plastic next to your bed.

As it took me such a long time to write this down it would be great if I get something out of it. Feedback from you guys ? What could / should I improve ?