Let Her Soak In It For a Second
Don't you hate those guys who always have something interesting and witty to say to girls and who never seem to be at a loss for words ?
What could they be talking about so effortlessly, anyway ? For the love of God, they just met !
I used to get really pissed off when I saw other guys getting that fast attraction and connection that I wanted to create with women.
To be honest, it bugged the shit out of me.
As you know, there are several steps to creating attraction with women. You have to know how to spike her energy and get her curious about you as a man. You have to know how to banter with her and tease her.
And one of the most important steps that you have to know how to do is create trust and rapport.
This is the feeling she has that you two are “meant” for each other, or that you share a special connection.
I'm going to give you one of my gold nugget tips for talking to a woman, which will have her feeling like you're her soulmate and eating out of your hand within two minutes ... if you use it the way I'm about to show you ...
This is called the “Buckshot Method.”
First, I have to admit, this may seem like a “sneaky trick.” In reality, it's just an accelerant to get real with a woman much faster. You're not really tricking her at all, you're just demonstrating a cool insight that gets her to open up.
Here are the 3 steps to the “Buckshot Method ...”
Step One: Insightful Look
At the right point in the conversation, you'll look at the woman you're talking with like you just noticed something new about her. It's a look of light surprise. Your eyes widen and you smile.
Then start nodding as if you figured out that you did see something. Like you're saying, “A-ha ! Yes ...”
Step Two: Make a “Buckshot” Statement
A “Buckshot” statement is one that could apply to just about anybody, but will give her the impression that you know something about her. Something that not just anyone would have picked up on.
For example, here's one that I use (nod your head slowly while you're saying it):
“You're on the verge of making a big decision in your life, aren't you ?”
Most people, at any given time, are chewing on a big decision, or at least one that seems big to them. And she'll likely be pretty impressed that you knew that about her.
It's extremely rare for someone to say, “Nope ! Nothing going on in my life !” We all want to think we're making big decisions, even if it's about which toothpaste to switch to.
Step Three: Dramatic Pause and Slam-Dunk
After you've made the statement, let her soak in it for a second.
Chances are, she will then volunteer more information for you to go with. She'll say something like:
“Oh my God ! Yeah, I've been thinking about my job and how I'm really not cut out for sales, and my boss chewed me out this week and ... how did you know ?”
You then seal it with this:
Smile and nod at her. Then say: “I thought so. You had that energy about you. I could feel it.”
Boom !
After you use this technique, I can guarantee you that she will be much more open and responsive.
Plus, you're framing yourself as a guy who can read a woman's “energy.”
Whatever the hell that really is. It just means that she will see you as a person with insight and intuition about other people. Which then translates into a gift that women prize.
Again, this really isn't a “trick,” even if it seems like one. All you're doing is exercising your awareness of human nature, and you're using it to help her realize what a hip and insightful guy you are.
Oh, and don't be surprised when your “cold reads” start being more and more accurate. The best thing I ever did to kick my ability to read people into high gear was start by just buckshotting everyone I met. I had a few misses and a few hits, but all in all, I got better at reading people faster. I think it's because nobody wants to feel like a carnival act. We want to genuinely see what makes people tick.
This is just one of the many steps you need to use to create a powerful sense of attraction in the woman you're talking to. Knowing what to say, when to say it, and what not to say is all part of the blueprint of conversation with women.
Tired of being “tongue tied” around women ?
Tired of those “uncomfortable silences ?”
Talking with women and knowing what to say to women is everything when it comes to dating and seduction.
Learn the 4 deadly mistakes guys make when talking to women, and how to turn your conversation game around for good.
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9 comments
right...
dude, if this is kind of stuff you call "golden nugget", i wonder what the hell we are to expect from the rest of it
(i know women are stupid, but they're not THAT stupid...)
scaramouche says "right..."
Scaramouche,
I am sometimes criticized that the material we post is a little too advanced for a lot of the readers, and this may not be the case for you. But I found Carlos' comment to be a good simple technique that anyone can use. And we don't think that women are stupid - on the contrary if they were stupid we wouldn't need to give so much thought to how to have more success with them. I also think that most people aren't aware of the structure of simple conversations and how to create connections and develop deeper rapport, so Carlos' article
is definitely going to be appreciated by those who need help in those areas.
Clifford
alrighty
fair enough, i caught your drift. what i find weird is this mumbo jumbo he's trying to pull off by combining MM
bullshit with natural seducer stuff. and then he comes along and says - you see, this is not supposed to look artificial, even though it is bla bla... so which is it :)) make up your mind, dude! you either walk the walk, or try to create the illusion that you're some cool guy (which won't take u anywhere, btw - look at the "relationships" mystery screwed up over the years - aint no exgirlfriends gonna throw a birthday party for him as they did for zan). my take on it is simple - stop beating around the bush. if she has an interesting personality, and if you're not quite a dumb ass yourself, you will find ways to interact and topics to discuss. this babbling bullshit only makes you look stupid, needy and insecure (you're trying to come up with something BIG, for fear that a normal conversation will probably lead nowhere, so you make sure that big thing gets squeezed in, even though you know you're on a wild goose chase). you have to BE(COME) interesting, and then chicks will start flocking around you like the salmon of Capistrano. also, like DD says, u need to be a challenge and willing to walk away; she may follow you around all night or not; so what if she doesn't? she's probably not your type anyway; you need to have the confidence to walk around through life like you couldn't care less, and forget about the outcome. which you won't be able to do anyway, if all you got going on for you is this obsession with women; and btw, women ARE stupid, at least as far as dating is concerned. they act on their feelings, not on their ideas (do they have any?); they do try to pull all kinds of silly games, with guys who are so boring, them poor girls don't get the chance to get sucked in their reality, so they start fucking around; enough said :)
Perhaps at first glance...
Look, we all know the reality: You NEED to use techniques to get started. Doing anything different than what you normally do could be construed as "artificial," could it not...?
Without them, you have no structure to get results.
The results you get from a technique - are those real or artificial?
We could go round and round about "Natural vs. Method."
It's ALL good.
But what's ALL bad is when you rely on the technique to prop up your complete lack of personality or energy.
90% of all guys out there are STRUGGLING. Their game is soft because they're stuck behind a facade of risk-aversion, fear, and personality dilution. Their energy is blocked off because their fear keeps them from trying.
A technique breaks the veil of fear.
And THEN it becomes a reality for you when you integrate it into your real skills as a man.
The purpose - as in all things - is in the intent you put behind it.
The intent of buckshot is to start releasing your natural personality energy and taking a few small risks.
Sorry, man. This isn't "babbling bullshit," as you term it. It's a very real way for the MAJORITY of guys who need a clear cut way through the thicket of confusing "methods" and things out there that promise success, and show them how they can avoid feeling "fake" in the process. I'm showing how technique becomes a very real skill of social perception.
And it's a way to connect-the-dots between pickup techniques and how they work in your own natural game.
My reputation has been built on the fact that I teach MUCH more than game. You need to be focused on YOUR life first.
It's how I got to where I am, and where all men coming through the pickup pipeline will find their success as well.
You ask which it is, natural or technique.
This is both. And it can be.
Remember two things:
1) the true test of a first-rate mind is the ability to hold two contradictory ideas at the same time
-- F. Scott Fitzgerald
2) Black & white thinking is the most dangerous and close-minded practice of all. There are shades of gray.
PS: I disagree - women are NOT stupid. Perhaps 21 year old bimbettes at the local pub are less than thrilling, but then again I've never been about attracting women that you don't want. (?) Sounds like some anger at women there, and that's not going to help your success ratio either.
i feel u dawg
ok, maybe i got a little carried away. first of all, i dont think that being a natural around women and using some sort of technique are necessarily contradictory. that's not what i said anyway. technique is applied in both cases - but some lead to being an artificial individual - like peacocking, for instance - or telling a woman - i feel you're about to make a great decision in your life etc., and some lead to being more authentic - like teaching a guy about the importance of body language, practicing a certain posture etc. also, i dont mean women are plain stupid - they certainly have a different type of intelligence - call it emotional if you will. at any rate, my feeling is that one is on the wrong track here. you're not going to become more confident by practicing silly techniques. if the basic truth of the matter is that women are attracted to men, not wussies, one needs to stand up and be(come) a man. it's really that simple. as long as you don't become a different person, you can't expect different results, event if your technique changes (on the surface). IMHO, one needs to grow physically, emotionally, spiritually, in order to become an adult - a mature human being. whether you're 20 or 40, it's the same issue. one needs to forget about women for a while, one needs to step back and take a good look at himself, one needs to go out and train, take some martial arts classes, join the military etc., whatever it takes to bring out the dormant energies inside you. once you wake up as a real individual with different concerns before and beyond women, this will sort of take care of it self. that's the paradox, in my experience, at least. zan said that as well - the less you need women, the more likely you are to get them. but then you will be coming from a different place, with a different mindset and so on. this is probably the no.1 mistake guys make with women. they are not and should not be the most important thing in your life. otherwise, you're no different than a rag doll.
elaborating on the issue...
i don't know how many of you have seen into the sun, with steven seagal. not that big deal of a movie, but i watched it anyway. there's a scene where he kicks the butt of some wannabe yakuza kid down the street, and tells him - go home and train, come back in ten years! that's the kind of thing i'm talking about. these things will not happen overnight. it will take at least one year, in exceptional cases, three to five years usually, and probably ten or more in desperate cases, to entirely change as a guy and get different results - in life or with women, for that matter - naturally. but then again, in that interval you will not be practicing pickup lines, you will be practicing some stance in aikido or karate, you will endure some pain, you will get beaten or humbled, you will have to become disciplined etc. that will indirectly have an impact on your life and shape you as a human being. take that scene in troy, where paris is supposed to fight menelaus, and he starts mumbling about helen, what she may be thinking blah blah. then his brother - hector - comes along and says - shut the fuck up, take that sword and focus on the fight! that perfectly illustrates the difference between a real man and a pussy. think gerry butler in 300 and the list goes on. find your own role-models, and then start doing something about it. like tony robins says - unless you take some action, you're merely deluding yourself. this is supposed to be a little more than just wishful thinking.
links:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNM_GcQvy98
www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNwuhjqSLCc
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cpc-t-Uwv1I
You bring up some good
You bring up some good points, but the reality is that EVERYONE (deep down inside, and maybe excepting us masochists out there) don't want to have to work for anything.
That's why my black belts mean more to me than anything most people will accomplish - because they were hard-fought and well-earned.
I have a motto I live by: "Anything worth doing will NOT be easy."
Unfortunately, we live in a fast-food culture.
I agree that guys need to man up and get into action.
PS: Fight Club just came out on Blu-ray. Guys, watch it ten times and see if that message sinks in. :)
there's always a but(t) in the way :)
i agree with you carlos to some extent, that movie is inspirational and may make you wanna get off your seat and start doing something.
now the question is what should you do :) i dont think promoting violence in an irrational fashion is going to change a thing.
you can express your masculinity/aggressiveness in a controlled fashion/environment, where you will learn how to sit, how to walk, how to stand, how to kick/throw, how to take a punch, how to roll or fall and so on.
i dont know about other martial arts, but in aikido the first thing you learn is ukemi - the art/technique of falling. previous to that i did some wrestling and got injured a couple of times, for not knowing how to fall safely etc, let alone street fight and stuff.
there's no need to go crazy like that - i think as men we need strength/power/energy, but we also need some mind/intellect/reason behind it, to steer it, otherwise we're likely to create more trouble than solve some of our problems.
like goethe once said, there is nothing worse in the world than active ignorance...
the technique
I liked what you said, its not a golden nugget, its a very simple and i would dare to say, stupid thing to do. Unless the girl is already attracted to you, you had already created a decent level of rapport, or is kind of dumb, that sort of generalizing, or a vague comment would make you look stupid and/or try hard.
The only case I think it would be a good thing to do to test the waters as how much shes already into you, but not a good thing in itself: there are much better alternatives. Like if you had been talking for a few minutes, ran out of material/creativity and don't have it clear whether she likes you or not, its a nice case.
Inner game would be much a better thing to develop. Or fake a palm reading saying someone just taught you a little, that way you are kind of in a safe place if you totally screw it.
Anyway, unless you've got something else, this thing would get you nowhere.