Some Girl Randomly Shoved Me On The Dance Floor

pitfalls of having wings

In my own experience, having better looking wings isn't as disastrous as Aaron Sleazy suggests. There have been times I've gotten strong reactions from girls whom my better looking, but less experienced, wings had been talking to earlier and gotten nowhere with.

Once, I was feeling quite charitable and opened a hottie, planning to hand her off to the very good looking new guy who came out with us ... but she was more interested in me than getting handed off to him.

If you are capable of strongly intriguing a girl, hotter guys coming around are not that big of a risk.

That being said, bringing wings who have much better skills (and perhaps better looks) into your interactions is an obvious recipe for losing girls and possibly for jealousy.

Still, in the long run, having the wrong wing can be a big liability.

Just the other night, some girl randomly shoved me on the dance floor maliciously. I never did anything to her, but she was a girl that my former wing “StucturedPUGuy” once fingered on a meet-up and then later massively creeped out. She'd seen me with him in the past, so transitively I'm a creep in her mind, too.

Working with wings is a lot less efficient than good soloing in terms of time management, as well. The more guys you are out with, the more overhead there is in organizing everyone, re-grouping, and meeting up, as well as a higher tendency to just bunch up and talk about pickup instead of actually approaching.

These anti-wing observations are somewhat ironic, considering I run a lair.

It's easy to say, “Well, duh ... it's common sense not to wing with guys who screw you over,” but the reality of it can be quite different.

There is kind of a community assumption where, if you meet another local community guy, you should wing for him. This is the foundation on which lairs are built. At least this was how my lair used to run. You'd roll with whoever wanted to go out that night, regardless of whether they were helpful to you or not.

Objectively speaking, most of us feel enough camaraderie for other guys into seduction that if we found a local guy, we'd at least roll with him once. There is definitely a community mindset about how it's important to find wings and follow wing rules with them and give cheesy accomplishment intros and prop each other up. A lot of this is counterproductive, and more often than not, bringing in a less experienced guy you barely know will just kill an interaction.

These days I prefer to practice something I refer to as tandem soloing. Going out with other guys, but not being overly eager to get into their sets. I might hang back to observe and give them feedback later, but I'm not in any hurry to get into sets with them. Unless the girl he's talking to has some friend I find particularly tasty, I might not even go in at all.

If I am in with another guys, it is in order to split up their sets and remove distractions. You and your wing are rarely actually in the same conversation.

Sometimes I'll go out with other guys, but not run a single set with them. But I do try to observe if something interesting is going on with them and I'm not particularly doing much at the time.

The idea is to be out there with other guys for some moral support, for someone to talk to between interactions, and to observe each other, but to not be reliant on others in your own seductions.

Learning to be self-reliant is also a very important skill. If you're the kind of guy who has nights where he wants to be out approaching but doesn't because he can't find anyone to go out with, you're missing out on a lot.

Tandem soloing, in my opinion, reduces a lot of the drawbacks and unpredictability of working with inexperienced wings. It also can provide opportunities to observe better guys without damaging their chances of getting laid. The fact that you aren't attached to your wings at the hip also means if some guys are doing well in one place, everyone knows it is okay to move on and spread out instead of waiting around.

I don't think tandem soloing is a “best of both worlds” sort of compromise between winging and soloing, but it does limit the disadvantages of having wings while still allowing you to run your sets solo. I also won't claim to be the inventor of this idea, as I think it has been independently discovered by lots of skilled guys. Aaron Sleazy states this idea is similar to what goes on when he goes out with his friend “Byte,” and I know of guys in Norway who are fond of “lone wolfing” together.

I know of guys who genuinely are friends, work well together, and have similar goals and skill levels who do have success being very involved in each other's interactions. Despite what the mainstream community would have you believe, though, this is not the case for most guys. In situations where you are out with a guy you don't know as well, or when it's obvious there's a big skill difference, tandem soloing minimizes the unpredictability of these situations.