2011/07/01

Why Self-Development Brings Unsatisfying Results

How to help yourself with self help ... the right way.
Why Self-Development Brings Unsatisfying Results

Etienne Charland:
Self-development is a huge business. Let’s talk about why it doesn’t bring satisfying results for most people.

Here are the mistakes almost everybody makes and how to avoid them.

Many people want to change their results in life. They are willing to change their words and actions, but they don’t really want to change as a person.

Single guys look for tricks and techniques to attract women. Two things happen. They end up being something they are not, and they end up attracting the wrong type of women.

Women look for ways to feel better in their skins. They wear prettier clothes, go through plastic surgeries, and improve their communication skills. They end up having an edgy character and losing their carefreeness, spontaneity and authentic femininity.

People want to solve their financial situations, yet they remain stuck in the same frustrating life patterns.

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Recently, a new wave of self-development appeared: the law of attraction, visualizations, energy healing and meditation. Men visualize the perfect lifestyle they want to live with women. Women use meditation and healing to feel better in their skins and to overcome their limiting beliefs.

They often end up living in their own bubble of wishful thinking. They’re still broke and single, but at least they feel better about it and they’re working on it.

On one side you have people who want to change their words and actions without changing within. On the other side you have people who change within but who don’t bridge the gap between emotions, actions and results. There are concrete actions to take and real-life social dynamics to deal with.

Then there is the middle path almost nobody sees.

You transform within, with all the various healing, meditation and visualization tools. You change specific aspects within yourself in a focused way to achieve an objective. If you want to better express yourself, you don’t need to work on your knee. Work on healing the specific tension in your throat, work on your sense of unworthiness and work on your fears of people’s opinions.

Affirmations and binaural meditation audios will not solve these fears. Breathing, meditation and general energy healing is very unlikely to solve these specific fears. It’s like trying to shoot a mosquito with a shotgun. You need to be focused and specific in what you work on within yourself. This requires a proper understanding of how your emotional and energetic systems work. Until you do this, all the self-development work you do will bring very limited results.

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Etienne Charland
Etienne Charland, dating coach, offers you the 3-part audio course “Transform Within to Attract Women.” Stop by for your no cost copy today !

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7 comments

tekniko's picture
Fri, 07/01/2011 - 13:55

don't people meditate for

don't people meditate for specific reasons? i don't get the distinction

TheGingerBarbarian's picture
Fri, 07/01/2011 - 15:25

Great Post

If you don't enjoy being yourself, you will never enjoy being with another person. I'm happy to see that you are discussing a holistic approach to dating. The LRLook up this term's are great, but you need to create your own personality in the feild.

Etienne's picture
Sat, 07/02/2011 - 02:19

big difference

> don't people meditate for specific reasons? i don't get the distinction

There's a big difference between why you meditate (cause) and what you achieve with it (consequence)

www.shamanicattraction.com

Dagger's picture
Sun, 07/03/2011 - 18:03

Hey

Very cool site, Etienne.

Dagger's picture
Sun, 07/03/2011 - 17:59

Disagree for the most part.

I respect the opinions expressed in this article. However, I have to disagree with the notion that self-help doesn't work. One of the most important things that a guy can do is to look into the mirror, do a gut check and have the courage to improve on the aspects that need to change. MPUALook up this term's like David D talk about this sort of thing all the time. As for the Law of Attraction, I don't feel that is as simple as just thinking about something in order to achieve it. I believe its much deeper that that, and that much of the work goes on in the subconscious. My life is far from perfect, but using Attraction I can say that I have accomplished some pretty cool things. It does work, it's just a matter of focus and persistence.

Salman's picture
Sun, 07/10/2011 - 15:00

good post

good post

Influence's picture
Fri, 08/26/2011 - 20:16

Hahah

This article is so true. You can say your ganna change and make things better all you want. Try going into a relationship where you both need to change and you both say you will yet neither of you rlly knows how to change and you end up where every other broken relationship ends up and thts being fake and simply going through the motions. self help and self development doesnt mean n e thing if you dont incorporate it into ur every day life and emotion. you have to live it and not jus dabble in it.