I Am NEVER Wearing This Stupid Tie Again

If strangeritis is left untreated, it can become a crippling disease, so seek help immediately if you have any of these symptoms. Fear not bros, interesting fact is that the symptom is also a remedy. eg. if the symptom is “I need to go pee,” then you need to hurry and approach before you go pee, but don't pee on her. If that is my symptom, I will sit down instead of stand like a man to pee, if I don't approach before peeing. Here is a list of symptoms and if anybody has got any to add to this list, please do:

1) Fear of talking to strangers. (Strangersitis or Strangeritis)
2) Fear of rejection.
3) Fear of saying something that may offend. (I don't mean being rude )
4) Don't know what to say.
5) She's out of my league / I don't have a chance.
6) I'm in a hurry or she's in a hurry.
7) I'm busy or she's busy.
8) I'm with company or she's with company.
9) I'm tired.
10) I need to go pee (sometimes).
11) My leg is broken (she will help).
12) Fear of success.
13) Fear of not knowing the person, or of the unknown.
14) I look like crap.
15) I'm not rich enough.
16) She's on her cellphone (so wait til she gets off).
17) I already got sex this morning.
18) I'm hungry / thirsty.
19) I don't have my glasses.
20) The bus / train is coming.
21) I don't have enough game.
22) I'm not good-looking enough.
23) I'm not smart enough.
24) I don't drive.
25) My parents wouldn't approve of her.
26) It's raining / snowing / hailing.
27) I'll miss my favourite television show.
28) She's attractive but not my type (so bed her not wed her, you may not be her type but it's just sex).
29) I need to post my number / email-close, day-2,3 ... or lay-report.
30) I have a headache.
31) The music in this club/bar is too loud.
32) ... I don't have all night to post all the reasons why not to approach attractive women.

set

1. Reputation - A mature man is one who knows that his life is one of purpose. He knows that his biological purpose is to survive and replicate. He knows that his social purpose is to attempt to make the world around him better. He knows that his spiritual or individual purpose is to fulfill the potential that he has been gifted with. Therefore, a mature man is only concerned with those things that are said about him which affect his ability to fulfill his purposes in life. He will not take insults to his attractiveness, his passion or his drive.

2. Recharge Time - A mature man spends his days fighting to maintain control of the reality that he has built around him. He is always actively looking to find ways to fulfill his purposes in life and people who he may bring with him on his journey. This is why he places importance on the time he can use to recover and ready himself to set off on his journey once more. Not only this, but a mature man enjoys his time alone because he does not inherently need others ... he is self-sufficient and therefore needs to withdraw from the chaos of life to center and remember that he is a man.

3. Minding the Store - A mature man has spent his life building a reality around him that he is proud of and enjoys, thus, he looks for those to come into his life who can preserve his reality in times of crisis when he is unable to attend to it. He seeks those who have achieved a level of competence in living who will be able to ensure the safety of his reality in times when he unable to do so himself.

4. Compliance - A mature man is inherently a leader and thus looks for capable followers. He cannot lead if there is no one to follow and thus a mature man looks for those who will obey orders and help make decisions but who will always yield to his authority.

5. Nurture His Social / Personal Environment - A mature man seeks those who will make his life easier. He knows that the battle to achieve his purposes in life is one against time and thus seeks those who will make the path to success smoother. He seeks a woman who will support him in his endeavors and seeks friends who can provide aid along the way.

6. Be the Secret Keeper - A mature man carries with him many secrets. He has knowledge of his flaws and weaknesses as well as information that could help him complete his journey. He needs to know that those in his life that he chooses to share this information with will keep this information to themselves. He needs to know that damaging information will not be disclosed and his plans for fulfillment will not be leaked.

7. Put Us First - A mature man requires loyalty. His inner circle comprises of his woman / women and close friends who he knows will put his interests above those of others, except perhaps themselves. A mature man has this need because he believes that he is the prize and thus is valuable. Those who would not ally themselves with something of value are clearly not worthy of being in his life.

8. Sex - A mature man is one who acknowledges that he is a biological animal and his driving biological need is one for sex. A mature man is one who has embraced his own sexuality and is unafraid to announce it.

9. Penis Identity - A mature man knows that that which defines him as a man is his penis. He accepts it into his identity and seeks a woman who understands this. This need is created in a man through a fundamental understanding that in order to achieve his goal of replication, he must accept the role of his penis in his life.

10. Femininity - A mature man who has embraced and enjoys his masculinity will need his woman to be feminine as contrast. She must exude femininity so that he can be masculine in comparison and so that he may never forget what it means to be a man.

Not possessing any one of these needs (i.e. not feeling like you have a need) is a failure to be a mature man and is probably indicative of an inner game issue.

The first thing is to start by defining the word agenda: “Something to be done, especially an item on a program or list.”

For me I do not see “not having an agenda” to be synonymous for “not having a purpose” or “not taking action” or “being disinterested.”

It could be semantics, but having an agenda means that you expect something to be done and you expect something in return. Thus, having an agenda turns you into being result-oriented or reaction-seeking.

When you have agenda, you tend to be disappointed when you do not obtain the results that you wanted. This is why to me, playing games and pretending to be something I'm not can make me reaction-based and result-driven (i.e. her reactions to my “game” will determine my behaviour which in other words, displays a lack of self-confidence).

Some people say that charisma is the best aphrodisiac and I agree to that to a certain extent, but to me, it's genuine confidence and being real (i.e. being truly your self).

This can only be achieved by leading a life of self examination and self-knowledge. Overconfidence and arrogance are Ego-driven and thus displays neediness and insecurity. The Ego feeds on the approval and the validation of others. To put it differently, it feeds on attention.

This is why most girls get creeped out by “nice” guys, since besides having lots of insecurities and neediness, these guys are not truly nice, they are using their niceness to get something in return … this is a subtle form of manipulation. “Nice” does not necessarily mean good. We all know that women are attracted to jerks because although they treat them badly, they are at least honest with themselves and most importantly they do not care about what others think about them. By getting rid of validation seeking, by handling our own insecurities and by accepting ourselves we stop becoming “needy” and this makes us attractive.

This is why “nice” guys sometimes turn bitter and start blaming women instead of blaming themselves.

“I wined her and dined her for 3 dates and then she said she only wants to be friends, now I'm pissed off !” Did he have a hidden agenda ? Yes, he assumed that wining and dining her would imply casual sex. He can only blame himself for his reality.

Having no “hidden” agenda could be a better term and can clarify things more. Let's say the girl you are conversing with asks you bluntly and puts you on the spot: “So ...are you trying to hook up with me ?!”

How would you reply ? How would you handle it ?

I would reply in a very calm and confident demeanor: “Definitely ! I'm not gonna apologize for being attracted to beautiful, sexy and interesting women.”

In my opinion, this is what it means to “go after what we want and not apologize for being (heterosexual) men.”

From then on, she can take it or leave it, but I will still be myself since my state of being does not depend on her. This is what is called strong or dominant behavior, i.e. not being easily influenced by other's reactions. If your friend gets into crime or drugs in some way or another and he influences you to get into it, then you do not have a strong sense of self.

Being dominant means conquering yourself and your ego first. When you detach yourself from the outcome and become honest with yourself & where you're coming from, you remove neediness and insecurities from the equation. Don't let your actions be dictated by your ego.

For me “not having an agenda” means being detached or indifferent from the outcome, so in other words not caring if I get what I want. Think of it as a “I want you but I don't need you” mindset.

This could sound selfish but it is not. This is called self-interest, and there is a big difference. Being self-interested is putting yourself first and is an honest behavior. You should kiss a girl or touch her because you like to taste her lips, and not because you want to make her “feel” good.

Think about it, if you can't take care of yourself first, how can you take care of others ?

This is why working and improving yourself is attractive !

Selfish behavior is putting your self first at the “detriment” of others. In other words, playing games and manipulation is a kind of selfish game. Think about women who “trick” their bf's into marriage by “accidentally” getting pregnant or guys who trick women into believing that they want a long term serious relationship when all they wanted was a one night stand.

Actually not being selfish works to your self interest. You can't be a taker or a giver all the time. As Thomas Hobbes once said “If someone behaves selfishly towards society all the time, he will live a life that is solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short.” Being objective about yourself and your needs & wants and seeking to understand other's needs and wants (empathy) is better than trying to please everyone and ending up miserable at the end.

So having no agenda for me does not mean not conveying your desires, interests and intentions and acting “not interested;” it means not being result driven and having no expectations whatsoever. So in other words you can be upfront, straightforward, and honest while being detached of the outcome.

How do you detach yourself from the outcome ? By removing your Ego or fake-self from the equation and by putting your Real self out there “naked.”

To do so it takes real balls ! You can only invite her to follow you, but by trying to avoid rejection, you are only trying to force her into it. The more your force it, the more she will move away from you … let her chase you instead.

We are both choosers, I don't own her and she doesn't own me ... this is why I only focus on my behaviour. Her behaviour is beyond my control so I'm not here to please her, impress her, or “chase” her. I can influence her behaviour to a certain extent, but I should not do that by manipulation, and it should be something she wants in the first place. Eg. helping her quit smoking if she wants to do it for herself first. If she genuinely likes to smoke then let her be, take her or leave her but don't compromise yourself if this is not what you are looking for.

Furthermore, women will then “test” you to see if you are for real and if you are genuine and have a backbone, or if you are just “pretending” to have all of the above.

Now if you apologize for your behaviour or what you said or believe in, then you have lost most of your power. Why ? Because you were not consistent with yourself and you have allowed her reactions to dictate your behaviour. This implies that you can be easily manipulated and weak. Women do not respect men they can easily manipulate.

Never “chase” women...desire her instead. Chasing women means that your general happiness depends on her and puts a lot of value on her pussy. Her pussy is not scarce, so its value is the same as your penis. A pussy is just a 25 cent size warm hole and that's it ... it's not to be fawned upon. Do not fall into the pussy trap and believe that it's the last one on earth. Women like sex as much as you do and that's a real fact, keep that in mind.

Her looks and how much she “turns you on” should not dictate your behaviour, treat them all the same like you would treat any individual and know when to draw the line. Don't get me wrong here, women do not want to be treated as “cheap” or “sluts” and you shouldn't treat them as objects or blowup dolls. Make her genuinely feel special but do not make her pussy “holy.” Know the difference.

By having no excuses for being yourself and accepting yourself with all your imperfections and weaknesses and becoming comfortable in your skin, you will remove most of your neediness and insecurities.

I will take a genuine "no" from a women with a smile on my face anytime over a "maybe". I don't like to waste my time on "maybe" people. Keep in mind that most girls are heavily conditioned by society to say No when they mean Yes and to be "uncomfortable" by the idea of casual sex, so persist when she resists, but leave her alone if she is truly disinterested and don't insist. Again, know the difference and remember that listening does not mean waiting your turn to talk ... learn to listen with your eyes as well since body language is more important than words. Do not be too talkative, it's not sexy and it kills the mystery. Be a man of action not a man of words. Let her do the talking and qualify her by asking open-ended question to let her reveal her real self to you. Again, don't compromise what you believe in.

In conclusion, rejection is then irrelevant and is not personal. Remember: "no matter what her response, you are still you !" Don't try to avoid it, as it can only work in your favour ... it saves you from wasting your time & energy. I am only interested in women that are interested in the real me. Rejection helps me get there by weeding out women that are not interested in me. Furthermore, rejection is her being not interested; it does not mean that you are not enough. If you change your behaviour to please her then it means that you were not yourself in the first place.

Some women will like me and some won't; this is just a fact. I would rather be disliked for what I am than liked for what I am not. People have forgotten the word acquaintance and its meaning. Remember true friendship is earned and matures with time, but a friendship based on non-reciprocated sexual tension will eventually become imbalanced. Don't fool your self.

If I am genuinely attracted to her then I let her know that she is my type of woman. Women love attention and want to feel desired, so give them genuine compliments but do not engage in excessive flattery.

Honesty hurts in the short run, while lying and playing "games" only works in the short run. Women want a man who knows what he wants, so focus on what you truly want and stop trying to control the outcome.

To me, The only real failure is failing to be yourself.

These are, in general, my thoughts.

PS: For further insight on being upfront and straightforward, please check out this interview Alan Roger Currie author of the book Modeone: Let The Women Know What You're Really Thinking.

And be sure check out the lost interview with Bruce Lee, who to me is a great philosophical inspiration.

If you are basically a rock star who looks like a GQ model, then this particular submission isn’t for you (or perhaps you can use this for the now-dreaded “entertainment purposes only”).

Whatever. Most of us aren’t that guy, so on with it.

Here’s the question du jour: Suppose you are a fairly average dude. How exactly do you know that you are in the company of a world-class hottie ? Well, the obvious answer is, “Who cares ? What’s important is that you like her.” And that’s all true, but it doesn’t make for a particularly interesting read.

So here below—cast to the wind with reckless abandon—is my personally-crafted list of a half-dozen distinct ways you can tell for sure the aforementioned phenomenon is going on:

1) First Class Treatment

It’s like you woke up famous or something. But you didn’t. It’s not you, it’s her. Everywhere you go you are getting the freakin’ “red carpet” rolled out for you. People—men and women—are going out of their way to do special things for both of you. This is pretty much the ultimate manifestation of social proof. Among the effects of this I’ve personally encountered are free drinks, front-row seats, airline upgrades, special discounts and “backstage passes”. Often, if this particular phenomenon doesn’t present itself, it’s because the proverbial pendulum has swung the opposite way, and…

2) ... People You Don't Even Know Hate You For No Reason

Well, yeah … there actually is a reason. And—once again—it’s her. And others are just jealous, of course. You can expect the “FU” look from a lot of men. Don’t take it personally. They wish they were you, that’s all. Never mind that with an attitude like theirs they likely will never be “you”, that’s another topic altogether. Interestingly, when you are met with disgust by other women for no real reason, it’s often because they wish they were her … which can be a nice feeling if you let it be. Then again, it’s equally as likely that they are as envious of her persona as they are of her male companionship. Nah…that can’t be, can it ?

3) Men Look—A Lot—Even When They're With A Woman

Ever get the feeling you were being watched ? She has … a lot. And you’re about to share the experience. Men are pretty much shameless, often blatantly snapping their heads around with an audible “Day-um.” Of course, some guys will even do this when they have a woman standing right next to them. It’s nuts. Other guys with highly evolved confidence levels of their own will acknowledge your good fortune either with a thumbs up or a “nice job, dude.” Usually, these are the same guys who do well with women themselves (and there’s a lesson there).

4) People Challenge Why She's With You

They could be complete strangers. Then again, they could be your “friends.” Whoever “they” are, they will come right out and ask the woman you are with why she’s with a guy like you. The direct version of this gambit plays out with questions like, “What do you see in this guy ?” or “What’s a woman like you doing with a guy like him ?” Indirect iterations would include, “So how did you two ever meet each other ?” or “So how do you know each other ? I'm assuming you aren’t dating.”

5) Guys Hit On Her As Soon As You Step Away For A Minute

All you did was excuse yourself to the men’s room. But when you come back, some guy is chatting her up. Get used to it, that’s the law of the jungle. Always be gracious in these situations. Don’t be jealous or lose your cool … remember, she’s with you and it will likely stay that way as long as you can continue to be a man and separate yourself from the likes of men who do needy, tasteless stuff like, oh … hit on other dude’s women as soon as they excuse themselves to the restroom. But heads up—it’s not just the guys who are interested because …

6) ... Even Other Women Flirst With Her

This is the wildest thing to witness I can think of, and by far the most stunning dynamic of the six I listed. You can be in a bar, a club, a restaurant or even an airport for that matter. Other women will behave in a decidedly flirtatious manner towards the woman you are with. The first few times this happens, you’ll be in a state of suspended disbelief. But there’s no doubt. Typically, she’s getting flirted with by women more than you get flirted with by women. The crazy part about that last part is that women are likely flirting with you ten times as much as usual simply because you are with her … and this bullet point is still true. And I almost forgot … you’ll actually get hit on by “lifestyle” couples quite a bit also—especially if the two of you are affectionate. The woman in such a couple will almost invariably initiate those situations, I’ve learned.

You may experience a scenario like unto one of the examples above, or all six. Moreover, stuff like this could happen once or twice, on occasion, or practically constantly. Even if one such event occurs, you probably have all the evidence you need that you are in fact an average guy with a super hottie. And if you find that all o the above happen with some regularity, then feel free to calibrate the truth of the matter accordingly. Whether it all is rather enjoyable to you or irritating to no end is a personal decision. Choose wisely.

Got stories of your own ? Additions to the list ? Think I’ve got it all wrong ? Let me know !

I like clothes. Always have. Dress is an opportunity to express myself that I really enjoy.

If I go out and buy some new stuff, it totally pumps my state for when I hit the streets.

This, incidentally, is why chicks love to shop. It's a short cut to positive emotions and confidence.

I've noticed an interesting phenomenon that I'd like to share.

Let's say I get a new tie. One that I'm sure will fit perfectly into my supremely stylish and tasteful collection. I try a shirt combo and I like the match. I know I look good in this outfit because, let's face it, I'm the shit and I just look good. Can I get an amen ?

Now I'm in the club strutting it. For the whole night, when chicks approach me, at least half of them comment on how much they like my tie. They touch it, stroke it and want to know more about it / me.

Damn, I say to myself. I'm gonna wear me this tie a whole lot more often. This little beauty is going into my A rotation. Fuck that. I'm never taking it off. I'll wear the sumbitch swimming !

A few nights later it's that time again. Naturally, I decide to break out my secret weapon: The Tie. A tie that I notice is slightly wrinkled from spending the night on some HBs bedroom floor. No problem. I give it a quick ironing. There. Good as new and ready for battle.

This is gonna be so easy. With this thing on I'm James Fucking Bond, beotch. They don't stand a chance. Yup. I'm gonna enjoy this.

I hit the club ready to sit back and watch as the magnetic seduction force field known only as The Tie works its magic.

And guess what ?

I get nothing. Nada. Fuck all.

No one even notices it. Or me, for that matter ! What could be wrong ? Did I tie the knot too big / small ? Is it too long / short ? Maybe it's a little too loose. But no matter how much I adjust it, it simply won't co-operate and pick up chicks for me.

Fucking tie. This is all your fault. Do something, you silken piece of Euro shit !

Again nothing happens. And the longer nothing happens, the longer nothing happens.

Next stop? Choooooodeville.

On my way home in the cab, alone goddammit, I make a solemn vow. I am never wearing this stupid tie again. It ruined my night and made me the laughing stock of the club. My own accessory cockblocked me. Unbelievable.

I know what you're thinking. Oh, that Dragonkid. So melodramatic. So emotional. So long-winded.

I'll try to get to the point.

No one element is ever gonna do it. Not a tie, or a drink, or a wing, or a routine, or anything else.

Don't believe me ? Scoff at my logic ? Swear by going out with your best pal (who's, of course, a "natural") or your lucky banana hammock ?

Well, I got a newsflash for you, Walter Cronkite.

It's about having the attitude that you not only deserve to have cool friends and hot girls, you expect it. Cause that's the way you roll.

If someone's not cool, you split. You've got standards, and you're not afraid to let people know it.

Hell, your body language oozes it.

I don't care if you think you're a putz. I don't care if you feel like you don't know what to say. I don't care if you forgot your inhaler.

You've got to stop those limiting beliefs right now.

Get in state, calibrate, escalate, vibe, be dominant, close. You've read about this stuff here and on other forums. If you're smart, you come out to Lair meetings. You know what to do.

Get out in the field. Have fun. Smile. Be non-needy. If a set doesn't work out, no problem. There's 2.5 million chicks in this town. That's why we don't live in the fucking Yukon !

Seriously. When was the last time you opened a girl with a compliment about her clothes and really meant it ? I'm sure you thought her boots were cool, but were you really so impressed that you just had to tell her immediately ?

It works the same in reverse. The Tie (or whatever) has nothing to do with it. It's all you. They approach with that shit as an excuse to get to know you. You're what they're attracted to. Not the car. Not the suit. Not the cool job. You.

Accept it. You're a cool dude.

OK. Rant's over.

Now go out and close some HBs, bro.