Why are Porn Stars / Sex Pros Different ?

This week, we are privileged to have an original submission from the one and only Johnny Soporno, the “Worthy Playboy.” Johnny has an important message to bring to the world, and not only has he helped me personally, but I know several guys who have greatly benefited from his teachings. When guys are first getting interested in women, they think being logical should work. But if they are smart (and lucky), they find that women are emotional creatures, and logic doesn't work the way we all feel it should. Johnny is the only guy I know of who found a logical approach that works with women (what he calls “seductive reasoning”), and his way of explaining things to them (and to guys) is compelling. Johnny's concepts may seem somewhat radical, but they are all completely logical and he has perfected his arguments ... he will debate his points with anyone, including (as he says) the Pope. Johnny is holding a life-changing workshop in Las Vegas from January 3rd through January 9th, 2011. Barring any unexpected last-minute changes, I expect to be attending, and I recommend you look into it if you are looking to make some important changes in your life and your relationships.

There is a very specialized segment of women, distinct from all other sorts, who require a fantastically more enlightened perspective than normal Game provides ...

These Uber-Hotties are immune to society's dirty looks, whispered comments, or other embarrassment-fueled methods for keeping women down ... and as such, they revel in their freedom, whether they have sought it out, or had it regrettably thrust upon them !

This category includes any attractive woman who understands that her reputation is already shot !

It includes any woman who knows and accepts that she cannot be mistaken for a “Good Girl,” because her sexual and stylistic exploits have already tarred her with society's ugliest brands: “Harlot,” “Tramp,” “Whore,” etc.

It doesn't matter if she is a Porn Star, a top-tier escort (a.k.a. a Model), a Rock Star, or any other sort of celebrity whose career is inextricably conjoined to her sex appeal, and where the media loves to publicize and sensationalize everything she does, thereby depriving her of any private life. (Think Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Little Kim, Jenna Jameson, or any other female celeb who has nothing left to fear from society's opinions or attitudes !)

The essence is the same for all Strippers, Escorts, and Models ... any “Professionally Beautiful” woman is going to have made peace with her attractiveness, and will now be looking for men who are accepting of them, comfortable with themselves, and interested in what they have to say.

Why are Porn Stars / Sex Pros different ?

Ok, you need to recognize that sexually-confident superhotties like Porn Stars are different from your “typical HB9+” types you might find out in clubland, in that they accept their sexual-attractiveness as a given all the time.

Normal “Club Girls” are generally not self-confident, and usually have pretty low self-esteem. They are actually in the club in the first place to get validation from guys because of their looks !

Even if they describe themselves as “models,” or have a model's portfolio card (Z-card) to hand out, they most-likely haven't ever had the courage or the looks necessary to actually be a professional model ... and since that has meant that they've taken jobs as hair salon receptionists, dental hygienists, veterinary assistants, or whatever ... they desperately seek out men's attention to re-affirm their desirability to themselves.

That's why “negs” work on Club Girls in the first place ... because if a girl's sense of self is directly connected to her perception of how she is viewed, that is the very essence of “low self-esteem.”

By contrast, Porn Stars, Escorts, Magazine Models, and Exotic Dancers fall into the category of “professionally beautiful girls” along with movie starlets and popular singers, and tend to have a different attitude; they already have all the validation they need, not only based on their looks ... so “negging” falls on deaf ears, as do banal compliments.

With women like these, the only “DHV” that matters is demonstrating your own self-comfort, and through that, the acceptance of their beauty as merely a component of what makes them interesting to you.

You must never appear star-struck, or overwhelmed by their hotness or beauty !

It must be obvious to them that you are undaunted by their popularity, their fame, or their sex appeal. You'll need to engage them in conversations about things that interest them ... and the easiest and most certain way to do that is by demonstrating happy curiosity. In other words, being light and playful and interested in what they have to say, encouraging them to keep describing the things that they wish to talk about by asking insightful and interested questions.

(This is true for most beautiful women, and most people in general, but in the top tier of sexiness, they almost never get to talk about their own interests !)

Forget “Cocky & Funny” here. Instead, being “Playful & Confident” wins the day !

Remember: always be curious, accepting, and appreciative. The longer you keep them talking about the things they like to talk about (themselves, their interests, their thoughts and positions on things and people), the more attractive you'll become.

Look at Howard Stern, or any talk-show host ... they are not nice to look at, but because they know how to keep someone talking about themselves, and they know how to listen attentively and actively by encouraging the speaker to continue speaking, they are compellingly attractive.

You need to be okay with their career choice: respectful, yet not in awe.

Demonstrate that you offer them “non-judgmental acceptance” combined with sincere appreciation, and they will adore you for it.

Once they know they can open up to you, and share their intimate emotional and cerebral aspects with you, they will rapidly transfer that sense of comfort and security into their carnal and visceral centers ... and they will open up other aspect of themselves... heh heh heh.

Why would a guy want to sleep with a Porn Star or Sex Pro ?

I've been to bed with maybe a hundred professional Porn Stars in the last decade or so, non-commercially ... and maybe that number again of more “mainstream” celebrities ... and in every case, the question of whether or not to do so was weighed individually.

I'm a strong proponent of “sexual professionalism” ... but to be frank, eighty-plus percent of porn performers are simply too “broken” for me to wish to engage in playful sex with them ...

If a girl is making porn for “the right reasons,” then I'm all over it !

But tragically, very few actually are.

(The “right reasons” are because she loves sex, loves being watched having sex, and gets off on being a Porn Star ... and therefore she can and will rock your world !)

Aren't they all disease-ridden ?

I must say, I'm amazed by how often I hear this question. The average girl you meet at a bar is fantastically more likely to have a disease, and to have unprotected sex with you before getting tested, than any Sex Pro !

The degree of sexual playfulness amongst pros is intense and amazing, and the comfort that everyone has a current (less than 30 days old) full-spectrum STD result published online is incredibly liberating and confidence building !

The Adult Industry Medical centers are all linked to one another, sharing test results to prevent outbreaks. The monthly HIV tests are not the ELIZA style antibody tests, but instead are extremely accurate PCR / DNA tests which provide results overnight, and can detect infection within days of first exposure.

Because everyone in the business must have their STD status available for the producers and their co-stars, there is fanatical dedication to never taking a chance on losing the ability to work (which continues until they have two consecutive “clean” test results), or having the stigma of being so disrespectful to your peers that you haven't considered their careers also.

Remember: you can't catch an STD from someone who doesn't have one, even without a condom !

But they've been with guys with monster cocks ! I couldn't satisfy them !

Sure, they've been with guys with dicks as big as your forearm ... but that was work, and normally not something they would choose in their personal lives ! Women are not that big inside ! Her gynecologist can reach all the way to her cervix with his fingers ! If you actually watch closely, you'll see that vaginally, a woman (even in porn) can only fit in about 6" or so, maximum, and even that only in a few positions.

If you're interested in delighting your partner, you can do it, regardless of even having a penis. (I know a lot of Porn Stars who are lesbians in their social lives, and only “do guys” on screen !) You just need to invest the time in learning how to use your mouth, fingers, and toys to the best effect !

OK, but girls who have so much sex get “loose,” and then they're no fun at all !

(Sigh ...) Another insane concept which has been propagated throughout time with no basis whatsoever !

Ever watch a bodybuilder at the gym, curling heavy weights ? Ever notice how loose his biceps get as he repeatedly makes his muscles work, over and over ?

Of course not, that's ridiculous ! His muscles get stronger and firmer as a result of being routinely employed under load !

Well guess what ? A vagina is also muscle, and with continuous use, it also becomes firmer and stronger !

As a matter of fact, the muscles responsible for vaginal “tightness” are also the ones which she'll employ most of all when she's enjoying herself sexually ... so the more enthusiastic a girl is about participating in sex, the better she becomes !

(Although if she's not into it, and is lying there spread out like a starfish, and basically allowing you to masturbate into her, then don't even bother !)

Seriously, most beautiful women who enjoy sex have the secret urge to be Porn Stars ... but very, very few have the independence or confidence necessary, and even fewer are sufficiently exhibitionist and proud of their sex to do it for the world to see. If you check local Gentlemen's clubs, you're likely to meet the sort of women who could easily graduate into the Porn Star category, and by helping to emancipate them from society's oppression, you could help facilitate that !

Here are some critical reframes which will help you understand why women who make up their own minds about with whom to have sex, and for what reasons, are actually preferable ... so when you take these concepts to heart, and bring them up with women, you help emancipate them !

All women who have sex are either “sluts” or “whores” in our society. (Not by my reckoning ! By society's !)

Initially, I didn't understand it. When I was a boy, I mistakenly believed that the trade of security and support for sex (or at least, the promise of exclusive access), which I observed going on in all the nuclear families around me as “marriage,” was entirely unrelated to prostitution.

Then I heard countless mothers angrily telling their daughters not to have sex unless they were being paid, or at least had the promise of security and support from the man who wanted to have sex with them. Otherwise, they would be “giving themselves away for nothing,” and that would prove that "they had no self-respect !" They would therefore never be able to convince a man that they were worth paying for.

So I accepted those crazy notions as axiomatic: that women must be paid for their sex, whether they had one client, or many.

Then I listened to older men telling younger men (when the younger men insisted, “I would never pay for sex !”) that every man pays for sex, but outside of marriage / long term relationships, they usually get the sex they pay for ...

I considered all the girls I knew who would go to bed with a guy because he took them out for dinner and a show, or because he promised to take them out of town for a weekend, or because the guy would provide valuable services like fixing their car, or filing their taxes, or because the guy bought them jewels, liquor, cocaine, or whatever ... and I realized why I was having so much difficulty rationalizing the difference between these girls and “whores” who would go to bed with men for cash. The reason I couldn't recognize the difference was simple: there is no difference.

And suddenly, I realized that the fabric of society, the basis for all the lies, misunderstandings, and foolish choices, all came down to that critical faulty-logic: that women believe their value is only demonstrable through the quality of man they can convince to purchase them; and that the only way to demonstrate that value is to admit to a small number (ideally, zero) of previous sexual partners, so that the man can believe that kids she gives birth to are actually his kids. (This explains why virginity is so highly prized, despite its ensuring that the woman will not be skilled, or even necessarily interested in sex !)

So, from there it was a very simple, inescapable logical step to recognizing that our society insists: any woman who has sex to suit herself, for her own pleasure, without concern for the promise of security and support, is to be branded a “Slut,” and socially outcast and condemned; whereas any woman who makes men pay for sex (or at least, makes them imply that they will ultimately pay) is socially acceptable. Naturally, the ones who can get a man to formally commit to paying forever, by having him legally purchase (marry) her have much higher status than the ones who get paid less predictably.

It's critical to remember that virtually all women are raised to charge for their sexual services. When a mother tells her daughter, “If you give away the milk, no one will buy the cow !” she's really saying, “Don't you forget, I raised you to be a whore ! (Not a slut !)”

Likewise, their fathers tell them: “I don't want you spending time with that Kevin boy ... he just wants to get into your pants ! Why don't you go connect with Thomas over there ... he has his own business, and he'll be a good provider and father for your children, and he'll take care of you ! (Because don't ever forget, we raised you to be a whore !)”

Women are raised never to undercut The Sexual Cartel ... an unspoken understanding amongst all women to ensure that men will support them and their offspring by convincing men that sex can only be available at a cost ... and that the dearer the cost, the more valuable the sex.

This is to convince men that their children are their own, genetically.

“Son, I know you're my child, (despite the fact that we don't look anything alike) because your mother was a “good girl.” She didn't sleep with me until our fourth date ! And hell, she doesn't even like sex, we practically never had it once we got married !”

Women who have sex because they want to, with whomever they choose, without the promise of a “commitment,” (or any other direct or promised compensation) are condemned socially and branded as “sluts:” the most derogatory word any woman can be called, particularly by another woman. When a man calls a woman a slut, he is saying “She's having more sex than I want her to !” But when a woman calls another woman a slut, it means, “She's a traitor to her gender ! She's giving away what I must sell and lowering my value ! She's a scab ! She's undercutting The Cartel !”

Once you personally become comfortable with this, your non-judgmental acceptance of women, along with your appreciation of the unjust nature of the persecution and disrespect Sex Symbols and female public figures have had to endure, will make you invaluable to such women ! They are desperately seeking a man who won't judge them, won't disapprove of them, and will gladly lead them into adventures & excitement with the security of having his protection (real or imagined !)

What's the difference between “Cocky / Funny” and “Playful / Confident ?”

“Cocky” is arrogant, over-assertive, and confrontational. It is something you must demonstrate.

“Confident” is self-comfortable, relaxed, and grounded. It is something you radiate.

“Funny” is usually verbal or clown-like humor, which is designed to amuse and entertain the other people involved.

“Playful” is an expression of spiritual enlightenment: a way to demonstrate your love of life, unburdened by any supposed “seriousness” of a circumstance ! It permits you to amuse yourself ! And that is very compelling and attractive, as well as disarming and endearing (and usually entertaining) to most people, particularly women !

To summarize, and be sure this really sinks in:

These Professionally Beautiful women are just like any other hot girl you're likely to meet, except for two major differences:

1) They have no “reputation” to protect. (They have no fears of being labeled as “easy” or condemned as “a slut.”)

2) They have generated their security for themselves, so they can afford to date whomever they please, rather than relying on finding a man to support them and guarantee their security.

Women crave security the way men crave approval: as a primal and instinctive central theme to their actions.

Since most women believe that security comes from contracting themselves as “sole sexual-services provider” to a man in exchange for economic support and protection (both for herself and her offspring), and that such a client (husband / boyfriend) would only agree to such a contract if he believed he was paying for something which was otherwise unattainable (why buy the cow when the milk is free ?) she must ensure that her sex appears to be hard to acquire.

Most women therefore go out of their way to put their chastity and demure sensibilities on display whenever they are confronted by a potential client ... and whenever they are exposed to competitors !

It's important to most women that men not consider them “easy” or “slutty,” because if a man believes he can have sex with them without making a commitment contract, he will not ever provide them with the security they crave so dearly.

It is even more important to women that other women don't believe them to be “easy” or “slutty,” because that constitutes treason amongst women. If any woman is giving away what she needs to sell, then that other woman is destroying her market ! This makes achieving security impossibly challenging (i.e., she'll need to support herself !) so therefore the slut must not be permitted !

Somehow, men have allowed themselves to be duped into believing that a woman who is not into sex is more desirable than one who is very into sex.

This is due to the unspoken “Sexual Cartel” which insists that women never make sex available for less than the value of security.

Women whose security relies on their having a reputation as “hard to get” must operate covertly in order to have the sex they want. Women who independently generate their own security (i.e. without requiring a man to support them) may do as they please ... but they still risk being decried publicly by other women for destroying their market.

So, in essence, a Porn Star or other Celebrity (like Pam Anderson, or Paris Hilton, or any other economically independent woman) can choose with whom they sleep without further fear of generating “a bad reputation.”

But what about all the hype about catching HIV and dying from AIDS ?!

As I've mentioned above, the chances of contracting something from a Sex Pro are minuscule, and if you were to come into contact with something nasty, most everything can either be immediately cured or ultimately suppressed with readily available medicines. A very good hygiene habit to cultivate is washing yourself thoroughly with plenty of hot water and soap immediately after every encounter. This will wash away any stray skin cells or anything else that may have viruses or bacteria which could eventually be accepted into your body. However, since that process is a slow one, washing immediately is advisable !

This will reduce your likelihood of catching anything by a tremendous amount ... and using condoms with strangers is every man's responsibility !

Also, though I am by no means advocating reckless behavior, the odds of a man contracting HIV through heterosexual sex even if the woman has AIDS, and you have intercourse (vaginal, oral, or anal) without a condom ... are about 2000:1 against.

I'll say that once more:

Your chance of infection is 2000:1 (.05%) against ... against ! ... contracting HIV, even if you have unprotected sex with a woman who has AIDS.

Obviously, it approaches zero if you use condoms, even if your partner is infected !

And of course, your likelihood of infection drops to none if your partner doesn't have HIV / AIDS ...

Check Table 1 (on page 9) of this this report from the Center for Disease Control for verification.

Thanks for reading, and I hope I've given you lots to think about and lots to apply in the Real World !