I'm Gonna Make A Man Out Of Him If It's The Last Thing I Do

So Prince Charming and I met up last Saturday evening. He was with AtoZ and a few other people at a restaurant downtown. I met a couple of his buddies, we'll call them Buddy J and Buddy V (V for virgin ... the fact that he's a virgin plays a major role later on).

We all talked for a while. I got to know Buddy V: a nice guy, but a pure AFC ... he's in a relationship with a girl who's also a virgin, and he has been with her for 6 months.

Buddy J is a pretty cool guy, fairly well off. Seems to be the type who has a lot of interesting stories to talk about, and he is a major factor in our turn of events.

I had decided that I would be a yes man for the evening, and planned to go along with any challenges or plans that would come my way. I was supposed to be present until about 1 AM, then go to a BBQ at a friend's place.

So everyone finishes eating and we head outside. Everyone bids farewell, and we split into our groups. AtoZ decides to head home with one of the girls. Some others split up, and we end up being a group of four, consisting of myself, PC, Buddy J and Buddy V.

Buddy J pulls out his wallet, counts his money, then says: “Well, I have $600 left on me, let's go to a strip club.” We end up going to this club I know downtown. (I suggested it knowing that it was the club with the best looking girls in the area.)

We head over there, walk in, get seated, and Buddy J wants a dance.

He points out two girls who notice him and just come over ... that was easier than I thought.

So he gets them to start dancing for him. Buddy V is a very talkative person, so we're just having a conversation. Well, he's talking ... PC and I are watching the strippers dance ... haha.

So Buddy J decides that he wants to touch the girls, but the club doesn't allow it, so they go into a back room somewhere for what seemed like about an hour.

In the meantime, some black stripper comes up to me, puts her arms around me and keeps telling me that she fell in love at first sight and is super interested in me. I'm not into her at all and see right through her game, so I tell her to come and see me at 3 AM if she's still in love. PC and I laugh about her afterwards.

Fast forward about a half hour. Buddy J is still with the two strippers. I'm talking to PC and watching the dances when I notice a pretty cute stripper (we'll call her HBStripper-pilot). She's wearing a fishnet body suit and just looking around. I get some eye contact and wink at her, then continue talking to PC.

HBStripper-pilot comes up to Buddy V and I and starts talking to us. She mentions that she's super bored and new there. I suggest that she go home if she's so bored. She says she can't.

She gets into a conversation with Buddy V about all sorts of stuff. I pop in every once in a while with some random negs. One ends up hooking her ... after about 10 minutes of her standing next to our table: “So what's your lie ? You're paying your way through school ?” She then comes around the little fence that blocked our table off and sits next to me facing Buddy V. (Well, actually it was in between he and I, a bit on the side, but he turns to face her.)

She puts her leg over my right leg from the side and puts her arm behind me. Buddy V is talking to her. I'm talking to PC, kinda giving him a play by play of what's going on. He and I decide that we want to get Buddy V to accept a lap dance from her and hopefully even lose his virginity with her.

30 minutes later, he's still talking to her, she's rubbing my back with her hand and is still sitting there with her leg around mine. At this point, I kinda get annoyed that he isn't doing anything, and she's clearly not interested in him anymore.

Buddy J comes back and I introduce them. He sits down for maybe 5 minutes, we all talk, then he gets another girl to dance for him and goes off again. I laughed at that. So HBStripper-pilot, Buddy V and I talk a bit, PC throws in a few great comments, and we're all vibing pretty well when she tries a shit test.

She mentioned earlier that she smoked weed and that one of her clients gave her some. She decides that it's time she go smoke some. She stands up, excuses herself and says that we look too healthy to do anything detrimental to our health.

I just laugh at that one (I spent 11 years smoking before I cleaned my act up). She looks at me and asks why I'm laughing, so I tell her that she's bad at reading people. She ate that one out of my palm. I get her to try guessing why I said so, she can't, and I end up explaining it to her. She tells me to meet her outside in 5 minutes.

Buddy J comes back with the girl who just danced for him while HBStripper-pilot's gone to roll her joint. He tells us that he wants to leave to go to another party. I head to the bathroom, come back, we start prepping to leave. We go outside with the stripper he was with and talk out front about what to do. Buddy J is trying to convince her to ditch work and come with us. HBStripper-pilot already told us that the club doesn't let girls leave early, and she confirms it.

We keep talking for a few minutes when I hear my name being called out, so I turn around to see Buddy V sitting on a window sill with the black stripper who was “in love” with me, HBStripper-pilot, and another stripper. I kinda laugh to myself about how he reminds me of a few people I know, and decide that I'm gonna make a man out of him if it's the last thing I do.

So I head over, talk to everyone a bit, make fun of the black stripper, and keep up my game. I ask HBStripper-pilot if she knows how to dance. She gives me a sarcastic look but doesn't say anything. I correct myself and say, “Real dance, not stripping ... salsa maybe ?”

She says that she doesn't know how but wants to learn. (Buddy V is a dancer, so I figure it's a good chance for him to dance with her ... he doesn't take the cue ... my plan is foiled once more.)

So I give HBStripper-pilot a quick salsa lesson in the street with my arm around her waist and just teach her the basic steps. (For a girl who dances on stage all day, she's really awful on her feet, hahaha.) She sits back down and continues smoking her joint.

A few minutes later, HBStripper-pilot again says that she wishes she could just leave. Buddy V tells her that she could always take one of our numbers and party with us later on. Then he jumps to say that his phone is broken (he keeps foiling my plans to get him laid !) She says that that would be a good idea and points at him and says “I'm not gonna take your number cause ... well ... cause your phone is broken.”

(Points at Buddy J, who's still standing around with the other stripper) “I'm not gonna take your number cause you're with her.”

(Points at PC) PC laughs and says, “You're not gonna take my number cause you and I didn't say more than a few words to each other.” She laughs and agrees, then stops talking.

I turn to PC and crack a joke about something, then change the topic. She looks at me and says:

(I call her until it rings.)

Buddy J says he wants to get to the party and starts walking off with Buddy V. PC and I talk to her for another minute or so then eject.

The party was fairly uneventful apart from me getting candle wax poured onto my back by a dominatrix.

And as some of you might have guessed, the BBQ never happened ...