Someone Who Started Off Clueless

In my 3 years of experience in the game, I noticed that a lot of guys tend to neglect their outer appearance when learning to be good with women.

And, after interviewing dating coaches, really hot girl coaches, and male models while writing my book, I realized a pattern of mistakes that most guys were making. They all had common limiting beliefs about what style is and what good style can do.

So here are the top 5 biggest style myths men have:

A common mistake that newbies make is that they think expensive clothing equals style. There is an element of truth to this—certain items of clothing can be very expensive, and certain styles and looks can run up an expensive price tag.

However, just because you pay a lot of money for a piece of clothing doesn’t make it stylish. Just because a T-shirt costs $100 doesn’t mean that it is 5 times better than a $20 T-shirt.

Style isn’t a contest about who can spend the most money. For certain pieces of clothing (like socks and underwear, for example), it usually doesn’t make sense to spend too much money on them. Even expensive clothing items can often be substituted for more affordable pieces and look just as good, if not better.

Style is about creating a look for yourself and expressing your personality through clothing. Unless you’re just trying to show off how much money you have, style isn’t about having the most expensive clothing that money can buy.

Another common myth is that style is about brands. Again, this has an element of truth to it—certain brands are known for making specific types of clothing (Hot Topic is known for their goth / punk look, for example) and brands also have emotions and images associated with them that you can evoke by wearing brand name clothing.

However, style is about much more than just brands. You don’t want to go to the mall and buy all your clothing from one store just because it’s a cool brand. That doesn’t make you stylish, that just makes you a label whore, and walking with logos on your shirts makes you look like a walking billboard for clothing companies instead of an advertisement for yourself.

You shouldn’t depend on brands to make you look stylish. You can use brands to enhance your own look and communicate a specific message, but ultimately style is about creating your own personal brand.

Style and fashion are related words, but they’re two different things. Fashion tends to be seasonal, and changes with time. What’s in fashion one season may not be trendy in the next.

Good style, however, is permanent, because it doesn’t strictly rely on the trends and fads of the moment. Style is about using clothing to express and present yourself in the most attractive manner, not about wearing whatever happens to be the most popular at the moment.

Concepts like good fit, coordinating colors, and triggering style attraction switches are all fundamental basics that are timeless and will never change. Once you master these fundamentals, you will have the tools to express yourself in the most attractive way, regardless of what happens to be in fashion at the moment.

This is one of the most common myths of all, and it makes sense to a certain extent. I mean style is about clothing, right ? And it’s true, style is something that is expressed through the medium of clothing.

However, style goes a lot further than just clothes. When you break it down, style is about communication. We are always communicating information about ourselves, even when no words are spoken. You can never not communicate.

Style is a form of communication that is expressed through clothing, but it takes more than a few nice pieces of clothing to make you stylish. Things like your personality, your posture and body language, your grooming, your body type; all these things cumulate to produce a unique expression of you, and that is ultimately what style is about.

This is a myth that I personally believed for a long time. Sometimes when you see someone who has a great sense of style, it can seem as if they have some special ability that you don’t. Style is a subject that just isn’t taught in schools, and it can seem like some people just get it, while you don’t even know where to begin.

As someone who started off clueless about style myself, I can totally relate to that feeling. However, as someone who was also able to teach himself how to dress well, I can tell you that style is something that anyone can learn if you put your mind to it. Style is just like any other skill, and it’s something that can be learned and developed with practice.

So what is style, you might be asking ? A simple formula to remember for the rest of your journey is:

Style = External Expression of Self

Style is the total sum of the way you move your body, walk, talk, eat, greet people, or do anything for that matter. Like game, it is the outer expression of our inner self ! This encompasses our identities, who we think we are, how we think, our values, our culture, our interests, and much more.

You can tell real artists from a mile away because they have a style that is congruent with their personality, and this shines through from their clothing to the way they sit down at the dinner table. Ultimately, style is about being able to express yourself through your clothing and the way you present yourself. It’s about figuring out what message you want to communicate when someone sees you, and to have the knowledge to be able to communicate that message clearly.