Remember, It Is Always About David

What he is looking for is so simple, but not easy. Always work on self-improvement. Become the man you want to be. Become congruent with your actions. If you are not comfortable, women will see that from a mile away.

I noticed that you are asking for real guys to write in. So here I am. A little about me. 53, professional nerd, white, raised in the Midwest, divorced for almost 4 years (after being married for more than 25), 3 adult kids. I am not a writer.

So let me say how I started and where I am now. I was an overweight nice guy with a quick wit. Upbeat, enjoyed watching TV. So I read books, listened to tapes, read emails, and talked to friends. First, I had to become comfortable with who I am. I became more confidant, and as I worked on self improvement, I became a kind man who has a funny, quick wit. Over the past year, I have lost 45 pounds, but still have 20 to go.

I have met most of the women I have dated online, and I have found that Alpha women are attracted to me. Now, my goal is to find Ms. Right, not to find a 100 women. I do tell the them that I am looking for Ms. Right and that she may be it, or I may have to meet 100 others and it is alright to say “Next.” Letting them know that you have standards and that you are ready to say “Next” is very powerful.

Lessons I have learned and some random thoughts:

Do not be afraid to say “Next.”

There are a lot of quality women out there, and very few quality men.

Everyone loves David (my reality).

Watching a movie at home is fine once in a while, but a woman wants to be active and go out. Hit a jazz club, walk around a lake, or walk downtown. Tell stories, make her want to come back for more. Have passion.

It is better to fall in love and lose it, than not to find love (wow, hard one.)

Alpha women want to be led, be challenged, and ravaged in bed.

To my surprise, I had a great 40 year old tell me, “I know you will not put up with any of my shit.” What an eye opener for an “ex-Mr. Nice Guy.”

You have to be congruent with yourself. Other people's lines will not work if that is not who you are. Plus, you can be yourself.

I always reset the woman's frame and say, “Hold on, remember, it is always about David,” or “David has needs, too.” Of course, her needs are always met, and she feels that she is the most important.

Do not be predictable. I just come out of left field at times. I think it is because I get these random thoughts, but they work for me.

Obvious: always open a door for the women, and treat her like a woman.

I love Forrest Gump. At the right time, I will use “That is all I have to say about that,” or, “I am just a simple man, why do you like me to touch you like that?” (Oh, that is a killer one.)

I tend to go out with very smart, successful women. I like to let them feel they are so smart and I am just a country boy. They will say, “That was such a nice venue.” I will reply, “I do not know about that, but it was a great location.” I am congruent with this, so it works for me.

Women want sex as much as we do. And after a certain age, they are not saving themselves for anyone. (Okay, they are, me ! Remember, it is all about David.)

I grew up in “Leave-It-To-Beaverville.” Not everyone had as great a childhood as I. If a woman has too much baggage, say “Next.”

No matter how good looking a woman is, someone did not want to put up with her shit. Always remember this !

In your profile, let them know who you are. It will save wasting time. I have several killer lines in my profile, and I was surprised at which ones were commented on by different women.

The only word I really hear is, “No.” Don’t be a dumb ass. No means no, at least until she screams, “Yes, David, yes !”

I waited my whole life for the perfect woman. When I found her, she was looking for the perfect man. Okay not a lesson, but a good quote.

So Clifford, if this is what you want from a real world man, I have more I could share. What works for me in my profile (I love plagiarism), what a women wants to hear and does not want to hear, some quick comebacks. Nick names for me and her that are very powerful.

Life is a game, you just need to understand what game you are playing.

I am not a PUA, nor do I go out regularly with the purpose of “sarging.” Sure, I read The Game, attended a seminar , bought a couple of products and read your newsletter sometimes.

I would like to discuss a couple of points.

1. Every method or school of thought was developed by a specific “guru,” and fits his own style, personality , character traits, interests, preferences, etc. The important thing to remember is that these gurus are congruent with their own method because they have practiced it for a long time. I think that any person who goes out to meet women for long enough and doesn't give up will crack the code and become successful. In my mind, all you need is a set of basic principles and a lot of practice and balls. (I am talking from experience. I did it a while ago before I knew about the community. I did not become insanely successful, but I went from horrible to good.)

2. Taking these methods and the community in general too seriously will make you worse. (It happened to me. I had my own style that worked for me, and after learning a couple of methods with a lot of rules and dos and don'ts, I got all confused and self conscious in my interactions with women.)

3. All the seduction companies and gurus have a goal. Making money. And if you want to make money here in the USA, you have to advertise. In my opinion, almost all advertising exaggerates the benefits of their products and services. They promise you everything. They use testimonials from guys with that seminar high, and they promise their participants free products in exchange for nice words. I think most companies and gurus have good intentions, but they try to fix a person in a weekend, and that is impossible. I think that the “students” are also responsible. I think they pay money to put the responsibility of getting their life fixed onto their particular “gurus.”

4. There is a lot of generalization going on. “Women respond to this, this works , this does not, you want this kind of woman, women like this are healthy,” etc. There is also a lot of preaching. Every guru wants you to follow his steps because this means more customers. I think women are different from culture to culture, city to city, region to region , social background to social background, etc., and they respond differently to different openers, techniques and attitudes. I also know from my experience that, again, there is a set of principles that you have to apply and embody in order to be successful. But these principles are basic, simple, and fundamental, and have nothing to do with openers and techniques.

I think knowledge in this area or any other area is totally worthless without experience.

So in my opinion, what we need first is to take action. Approach and start conversations as often as possible. Do it long enough, and eventually you will say the right thing every time. You will come up with your own openers, and you will be congruent with those. (I think the reason people want openers and canned material is because that makes them feel safe, and at the same time, they have an excuse if they are rejected: “Oh it was not me, the problem was the opener.”)

I think that the next best thing to taking action is practicing something that boosts your inner confidence, self esteem, and attitude. It could be Yoga, meditation, massage, hypnosis, working out, running, martial arts, etc. Try them all and see what works for you.

I think that learning is also important, but there is too much info out there, and you have to be selective. Forget about the superficial techniques and gimmicks. Go for the fundamental, basic, deep stuff.

I think a great question to ask ourselves is: “What do all men who are successful with women have in common ?” And then go for those things instead of the specific techniques and styles.

Most people in the community agree that words are only 10% of communication, and still they try to go for the words. They ask the same questions: Does this opener or technique work ? Has it been tested ?” I don't get it. Get your confidence, body language, and voice tone together, and then anything can work. What works is the confidence and the attitude of the person using the opener, not the opener or technique itself.

Finally, I would like to comment on looks (and this is from experience, too.) Your looks change a lot with how you feel. I have not heard people talking about this yet. Your hair style, clothing and grooming are important, but when you feel really good, you look good. You walk differently, talk differently, move differently, and your eyes and skin look different.

I think the shortest way to become successful with women is doing things that make you feel confident, sensual, sexual and powerful.

Facing your fears and working on yourself long term is the way to go.