I Don't Even Look At The Girls Before Approaching

All the things that I've learned in the last few months are excellent as tools I can use, and if I stack all my tricks in club game it can be very powerful for getting a girl home.

But for dating, it's kind of too much, and I feel a bit weird.

I've been getting strange comments from girls lately. I seem too good with women, they think I have lots of STDs, they don't trust me, etc. Some people have told me to just own it, that I'm a player and girls will love it if I don't apologize for it.

But it's not me.

I've become a player over time because I was learning this stuff, but what I want to do is to find one special girl that I really like and who likes me too. My goal is not to fuck a lot of chicks, even though I have and there's nothing wrong with it. It just doesn't fulfill me.

So I've been thinking about this a lot lately and I'm learning to do “normal” again.

I called my wing to ask him for advice. I told him that I had this really hot, intelligent date and I didn't know if I should do my usual routine, which is get her to my place, cook together, watch a movie and have sex, or take it slower and have a normal date.

He told me something like … you should do the same thing with a hot girl than you usually do with other girls.

Gold ! Of course ...

So ! What do I do usually with other girls ? Hmm ...

Try new stuff !

And it actually makes sense, because if I'm willing to try something that I never tried with a hot date, knowing fully that it might not work, it removes the pressure from outcome !

We decided to meet at a coffee shop without really planning on what we would do. This is great because it adds spontaneity, and I show that I can lead and make it fun naturally.

It's 8:30 and she texts me she's gonna be a little late. I'm not gonna wait sitting alone at a table. I was also stressed cause she seemed like a high quality girl and I didn't have much of a plan for the night. I thought, what gives me confidence ? Approaching girls !

Approaching is so second nature for me now that it doesn't stress me anymore, and it actually gives me a confidence boost every time. And the good part about it is that there are always girls anywhere you go in my town !

Something funny happened during my approaches. I approached two girls only to find out upon getting closer that they were about 12 years old ! When my goal is just to warm up, I don't even look at the girls before approaching ! So I started talking to them, told them that they may be too young to answer my question and tried to find a way to escape politely, when their mom and dad came up to me asking WTF ?

I told them I was going on a date and I wanted to ask for advice, but found out they were a bit young to answer me. The mom said something like “Just be yourself, relax and it's gonna be alright.” I said thanks, and while I was turning to leave she added, “And you're really cute, so don't worry !” Nice ! Got validated by a hot mom !

So after a few approaches I come back to the coffee shop and I see my date. We kiss and I give her a hug. I tell her to come to the local museum because I wanna have a quick look at the exposition there.

At the entrance I start talking to the security guy who is really funny and who tells us that we are a really cute couple, and he starts giving us marital advice ! I just play with it, having fun, showing that I'm social.

We then go to a lounge. At some point she tells me: “How can you be so comfortable ? You don't look stressed at all ! You're really social right ?” I say, “Yes, I'm really social but I was a still a little stressed,” and proceed to tell her about asking dating advice from random people in the street while waiting for her ! But I say it in one sentence, rather than talking about it for an hour as I would have done before.

I ask her if she's stressed she says no, so I ask her if she's shy and she says yes ... a little. So I tell her “I hate dates ! Can we just make a deal that this is not a date ?” Then we shake hands on that (every time I use that line it has a huge positive impact on the actual date).

We had normal conversation for a while and then went to the cinema. At some point I tell her, “Because it's not a date, I'm gonna try not to make out with you. But don't take it personally, okay ?” She laughed.

Then I got her back to her car. Hugged and kissed and said, “Have a good night !” She said, while I was slowly leaving, “So ... we'll call each other this week.” I said, “Sure.”

Then I left.

I think it's a good move to just say goodnight and not plan right away for a future date, because it leaves her wondering if you are interested or not.

I created a lot of mystery through the date. Short answers to her questions, sometimes not really answering the question but talking about something related. Didn't talk about pick-up, clubbing or social experiments. Didn't talk like I usually do about the fact that I grew up a lonely kid who learned to be cool over time (it's bad but I usually can't help it, and no matter how I phrase it it never sounds good lol !) We didn't talk about previous relationships, didn't talk about dating.

I didn't try to do kino, didn't try to make out, and of course didn't invite her to watch a movie at my place. Didn't try any push pull, cocky/funny, etc.

I actually didn't put more energy into it than she did. I was just having a normal evening with a friend in a really normal vibe with some little spikes here and there.

But most of the attraction and statement of interest was done already the last time we met. I even told her at the time that I was a nice guy but a very sexual one ... not those needy guys that buys drinks for girls to get their attention ! But tonight I showed her that I was still the same guy, that I was not there to get into her pants but to get to know her slowly, and that I was a really normal guy (I know, I know, but my vibe has been too intense lately and I'm sure I was kinda off in some way.)

All in all ... I did what girls told me during my pre-date approaches:

Just be yourself
Relax
Get to know her

I have a good feeling about this ... I'll keep you updated if it works or not.