The ladies are marking their territory
Rio: I'd love to think that women will treat you well if you treat them well. This is not the case. Women go out into the world subconsciously to meet an alpha-male who will be critical of them and their appearance / style / attitude / sexual ability, and so they will try for this imagined man in their head.
Ross: I told you to never, never generalize. It is always an inaccurate thing to do. People who generalize always have control and emotional issues.
Now, .seriously ... I have a question. Setting aside the specifics of what you are saying and just dealing with things from an information theory point of view, how do you know all this ? In other words, what was your process for coming to believe what you say is true enough to be an accurate description for the deeper motivations of virtually every woman you meet ?
In philosophy, there is a branch of the field known as epistemology: the study of how we can know things. In my own experience, through observation, trial and error, I've found that women can be as idiosyncratic and individualistic as to what they respond to as any other human, and while some general traits and trends are good to be aware of, especially among certain age groups, it is always wiser to learn to observe and learn about the unique person in front of you. In other words, instead of relying on a theory that will cover all women, learn to scan, observe, and cleverly question the person in front of you. Oftentimes, when people generalize, it is used as a means to make up for a fundamental skill set
that they don't even know they are missing.
Rio: They expect this man to be critical of all of these things. So you must be that man and size her up ... and this is how you do it, by telling her honestly and straight up ... that you were looking for a passionate woman to be in your life, but she doesn't cut it, and so the date ends here ... and you will never see her again. If you are looking for the missing skill that turns cold women red hot again, I am telling you what it is.
Ross: I am 100% sure you have done this. I'm not so sure your explanation as to why it is working is correct. Is it because they are looking for someone to be critical of them and the criticism is what turns them on ? Or is it because you are suddenly taking away something they had been resisting and now, like most humans, male and female, they are suddenly afraid of missing out ? What if you could get them excited enough to want you, based on your knowing how they uniquely respond, so you wouldn't have to worry about her being “cold” in the first place ?
Rio: All the chicks you are meeting actually don't have issues, and if they did and they wanted you badly anyway, they wouldn't talk about them or let them get in the way of boinking you. I actually thought that most women had issues, too, until I realized that I was falling into their shit-testing trap, and was not far off being in friendship land.
Ross: I am confused. Wouldn't you say that subconsciously searching for someone to be hyper-critical of them constitutes an “issue ?” I would say if that is the primary driver for a woman's interest, she's got some serious issues, to say the least. Perhaps you will make this more clear.
Rio: See, if a woman was interested in you sexually, she wouldn't tell you any of her fucked up bullshit life.
Ross: I agree, because she'd be afraid of scaring you away.
Rio: She would spare you the pain. Plus, what kind of alpha-male would be impressed by it ? An alpha-male would simply screen her out for being fucked up. Like, she knows that telling a guy her problems and issues is not going to score any points with him ... definitely not on the LTR side of things anyway !
Ross: It will scare a guy who has choices away from her.
Rio: Whenever a chick tells you her problems, she is really saying, “Wow, he'll put up with all my bullshit. He must be a desperate loser-man with no standards for women he hangs out with, and since he has nothing better to do, I'll take advantage of it and turn him into a friend !”
Ross: Or she simply has no emotional control, or what is even more twisted that you haven't considered is this: she considers her emotions and drama to be her most precious possessions, and that she is actually giving you a gift by sharing them with you ! I shit you not; here is where you find women with real issues. They really think, because they treasure their warped emotions and histrionics, that they bring these to you as a gift. This is a real layer of pathology, and women like this don't fear scaring you away, because they see nothing to be scared of in this. These are the histrionic drama queens that can make your life miserable.
I agree, however, that when a more emotionally stable girl tells you her problems, prior to fucking you, it's usually because she is not attracted to you and therefore is not scared of driving you away.
Rio: Every time a woman says “Why is it that all men want women for sex ... it is so bad,” or she says “I don't like sex,” she is really saying ... “Wow, I can't believe that you would even stay with me this long without even bothering to check me out as relationship material or for my sexual ability. I'm starting to wonder if I can get away doing this to attract other men in the future ? Am I really this hot ? Let me push the envelope by saying 'I don't like sex' or 'I was raped' or 'I hate men' or 'I've been fucked by 20 guys at once,' to see if this is too good to be true !"
Ross: Hmmm..women are humans. Humans get hurt, put through pain, abuse, etc. Don't underestimate the possibility that a woman can be carrying some real pain, problems, etc. The fact that she gives you a boner doesn't mean she isn't carrying her own real loads of pain, fear, limits, etc.
Rio: And don't forget, women expect to be screened by men ! They want to see their scorecard ! My LTR got approached by a bunch of high-school guys who were still learning the ropes the other day. They asked her what her name was, and then how old she was, and then ran out of material and then left ! What perked my ears up is that my LTR said afterwards “They must have run away because I was too old for them !” It was like she felt that she was screened out by them because of her age, and she couldn't understand why that was !
Ross: Hmm ... you mean it is possible for a person to have a pre-set explanation for the behavior of others that, in reality, has no correlation with those others' real motivations and reasons ? What if that truth applied to your filters and beliefs about the motivations of all women ? Hmm ... what is the real lesson to be learned here ?
Rio: In reality, those guys just didn't know what to say and how to act, got scared and left !
Ross: So your LTR had a strong belief about the motivations of others that was totally incorrect and caused her to draw the wrong conclusion. Maybe it is possible that women often don't trust their emotions, don't know what to do or say, and that this produces much of the behavior that guys insist must be deliberate and calculated “ball-busting” and “shit-testing.”
Rio: Subconsciously, they don't know why they try to beautify themselves, but the reason is because that they are hoping to use it to impress the alpha-male in their imagination. So the more they fuss over their looks ... the more they expect men to do the same.
Ross: Give them credit; women are well aware they beautify themselves to have more power, choice and attractiveness with men, and also to beat out their female competition. I don't think this is subconscious at all, not one little bit.
Rio: She's the one who has to try, she's always the one ... some of the comments I make may sound arrogant. Some of the comments I make may sound chauvinistic. Some of the comments may make me sound selfish and demanding ... but if you accept only the best for your LTRs ... funny how you will often get women trying for it. Having standards is a must.
Ross: I think what you are saying is a-ok, as far as the paragraph above. I don't think you are chauvinistic; I do think you are over-generalizing and may not be paying attention to some unique responses to the woman in front of you because you are looking at women through a filter that colors your perceptions (much as your LTR had her perceptions of the motives of those young guys in the bar that constituted a total misread of what was really going on with them.)
Rio: Plus, this is all OK in the woman's mind. You are searching for a life-partner, and you have every right to be selective for your “soul-mate” with whom you will spend a lot of time and possibly your life ... (that's what they think, anyway.) Just look at The Bachelor on TV. That bachelor is fully pimping the place out, and women think he's a decent guy ! Nobody thinks he's a player (except maybe that chick who accused him of kissing all the girls, but who was also disappointed that she didn't get invited by him to the next stage of the game !) ... and yes, if you point out that you are looking for that one special lady ... women will not think that you are a player, either.
Ross: You might also talk yourself out of good fuck for someone who might not want the pressure of being “that one special lady.” Would you want the pressure of being that “one special man ?” Don't underestimate a woman's desire to have a good fuck, no strings attached, if it is set up right.
There is a better reframe for the player objection which has worked for me and many of my students.
The biggest challenge and most alpha of attitudes is not to be harshly critical, but to live by what I just laid down, and to really be willing to walk if she can't rise to the challenge of being in that place with you.
Rio: Does it work all the time ? No ... some bitches will just screen you out for no reason because that's the only man-trapping technique they have at their disposal. Then, of course, you can screen them for that and ditch them immediately ... to save wasting time. More often than not though, you will get women who want to play within the confines of the frame you created !
Let's play devil's advocate for a minute and suppose that you are fed up with a particular chick because she is being cold, not acting interested, giving off “don't touch me” vibes, and is generally being lazy and not trying to impress you in the sexiness department. Hopefully by now, you would have pointed out that friendly, sexy chicks are your type. Since you have created the frame, you can play it out to the end: “Well, it seems that you really aren't the sort of woman I'm looking for in a relationship. Goodbye. I suppose I'll never see you again then.”
What does this achieve ? Well, firstly, if she's just going to be a lazy bee-yatch ... good riddance. But also note that a woman (unless she is a player herself) is not going to throw away a decent relationship when presented with a freebie right under her nose ! The male equivalent of rejecting this would be turning down an offer of sex from a sexy chick ! She's not likely to be comfortable with losing you permanently and flake on you unless she has other better guys in the wings as back-up ... and if that's the case ... good riddance anyway !
Ross: I agree they will respond, but not for the reasons you state. They will respond because suddenly what they took for granted is now about to be taken away, and humans, male and female, respond to fear of loss more than they do the desire for gain, for the most part, in most contexts. (Not all humans and not all the time ... see, I can avoid generalizing, usually)
Rio: In conclusion: set the frame for your interaction with her. It makes all those other techniques we talk about all the more powerful, focused, and controlled.
Ross: I talk about this in my LA Frame Control videos, available from Straightforward: 1-903-482-1034. Tell 'em Ross sent you.
Rio: Coming to try and find a balance between the two evils has been my main focus. That is, how can I PU chicks successfully and not be seen as a total dick by other guys and the women I am with at some point later in time. I suppose I would like to really enjoy the women I screw, and to have them stick around for a change. (No, I'm not getting married anytime soon !)
Ross: You're right about setting a frame, but you aren't clear on the beliefs about yourself and about women, and what constitutes an ideal interchange.
Rio: Remember, the game for women is to see how much they can suck from guys and get away with it.
Ross: Let me suggest that holding that belief will limit you to frames that will limit your success, because they have a limited view of what drives and motivates women.
I think women, generally speaking (with the pathological exceptions I've already discussed,) want great feelings and great states of mind, but they aren't quite clear on how to get it, or on what kinds of guys will bring it to them, and they are most of them running around on auto-pilot, confused, or doing things and selecting guys they think should make them happy, but don't. Show them a better way to have better feelings with you, get them to confirm for themselves that this is true, be a bit strong in giving them a good but fun lead, and they will lay themselves at your feet for the chance to be with you, oftentimes outside of traditional courtship frames, including LTR.
The limit of your frame is that it still accepts / postulates women as creatures who want to suck things out of you and give you nothing, the only difference being in what you do: you don't let them do any sucking because you reverse the equation and get them to prove what they can do for you, prove they are good enough for an LTR. Problem is, it still leaves them expecting an LTR with you, as that is what you are “screening for,” and so they are going to view you through the filters of all their previous LTR experiences with all the emotional baggage, limiting beliefs, emotional ploys, drama, etc. In effect, you are living down to their expectations instead of stepping them up to a better place for both of you. You're winning in the short term, but losing out because of what she brings along with her, once she responds to your “screening.” You're setting yourself up for histrionics and drama from her.
Rio: This is just one such shit-test which (if you listen to it) will open the door in her mind to heap more and worse shit onto you, and take you for granted. Then when things go wrong with her issues ... you get the blame ! I have had women do this to me on several occasions, and there is no other explanation for it other than that. They probably don't realize that they do it to us ... but they do.
Ross: Because that is what many women believe is par for the course in an LTR. It certainly isn't what women do with their wild, fantasy fling-fucks and affairs. They fuck the living hell out of those guys and dump their “problems” on their bore-friends.
Rio: About romance ... my slick factor increased when I viewed her as LTR material. I read once from David Shade that women find it romantic when they have to try and win a man's heart, and that is what they find romantic ... when they finally win the heart of a man who doesn't give a shit about them !
Ross: A pathological exaggeration of a fundamental truth: humans will usually value something more when they have to work to get it, and that which is occasionally withheld tastes much tastier once it is given back to us. So I don't think we have to go to the extreme of “not giving a shit;” we simply have to avoid smothering or being so far beyond what they are used to that it confuses or scares them away. We also have to avoid being so eager than we interrupt their own processes for deciding they want us.
Rio: This sounded good in theory, but I had no way to make this theory work for me. For that reason, you can't just offer a woman a relationship (what she wants) and then press her for sex. That is not romantic ... it's too easy for her to win. On the other hand, you can't treat her like shit and demand sex ... that's impossible for her to win and enjoy (unless she is a 10 pressed for a challenge.) There had to be a balance ... and Elvis Presley found it. Elvis fans (apparently) noted that what made Elvis so successful was that he acted (in his movies) as though he were actually looking for a woman for the long-term ... thing is, he often danced in a way that was obviously and blatantly sexual. It was a combination of good-cop / bad-cop that sucked in many a woman's imagination.
Ross: Hmm ... he was also an icon and fantasy figure. I wouldn't extrapolate too many working ideas for us guys who don't fit those blue suede shoes, my man.
Rio: Communicating to a chick that you are viewing her as couple material automatically sends her into romantic mode ...
Ross: I agree, and therein lies the problem: she will bring with that mode all her prejudices, fears, stuck ways of being, old anchors, limiting beliefs “I don't fuck guys unless I know them for a couple of months,” etc. etc. whatever. Grrrr ... brrrr ... I try like hell to avoid that, any way I can. That is what Speed Seduction is all about.
Rio: All chicks are narcissists. Well, normal narcissism is OK, but I was reading a book on Freud and abnormal narcissism. This deserves another thread really, because it is interesting. This is what happens to chicks when the erotic attachment does not become focused on men, but rather herself. That's when chicks go into paranoia, hearing voices, and other forms of neurosis ... and when this happens, these women cannot be reached for therapy through sexual means.
Ross: It's these histrionic women that ironically are most likely to respond to this “romantic” challenge you are setting up because really, it allows them to totally focus on their strong feelings and needs to win you over, without even really seeing what you might really want and desire in the moment ... they are too focused on the goal to see the person ! You get what you set up, my man !
Note: the opinions in the preceding post do not reflect the views of Tazzleberry or Tabbatha cat, and are purely the ramblings and thoughts of their Daddy, RJ. Nothing in the preceding post shall be construed to be an offering of “truth” but merely the author's take on what is going on. The author is fully aware he could well be wrong, full of shit and totally off-base ... but nonetheless challenges the readers to ponder the deeper implications of how what we believe creates what we get, and how all humans, female and male, are strongly affected by this dynamic. Shalom and Happy New Year !
Here is an idea for anyone. Get together with some wings, everyone puts in $5. An extra incentive for success.
I have noticed an interesting thing when sarging for the last few days. When you are not in state, a great thing to do is play a game of crash and burns. I did this with a wing , and the funny thing was the interest we were getting from all these chicks we were playing with. We actually turned out to have heaps of fun, got into state, and we actually started to get heaps of interest from all these chicks in stores, etc. So if anyone is reading this and hasn't applied all this PU knowledge to life, don't underestimate the fun and value of a game of C&B.
Rio's post was excellent, and I thought your comments were on the money. In particular, your perspective on pick-up is close to mine. Basically, it's pick up put into the form of a perfectly ethical situation. You say what you want. She falls in line or doesn't. Not manipulation. Not coercion. No unfulfilled expectations. Being honest and having integrity. Certainly you want to control how you approach things and the way in which you are open, since you only have so much time in life and there's no sense wasting it. And congruency of action, word, and thought is key. Why ? Because that is what integrity means, and that is what makes you deserve the amazing woman you're looking for.
On another topic, I started an argument (while writing the above) with a friend of mine who believes that humans need rules to force them to do the right thing. I think that doing the right thing has lots of rewards all its own (which is not to say that there shouldn't be accountability ... in fact, there should be more accountability than we have, despite our Draconian legal system.) No common ground. Very frustrating. In religion, I say the rules are there because they're supposed to be guidelines for how an individual can live the happiest possible life, and by extension of lots of people being happy and encouraging others to be happy, having a happy society. He says the rules are there to shape us into the most efficient possible society, so that people can be happy. But happiness is an internal process according to every religion I know. I mean, when Jesus said, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” he didn't put in a clause that said “unless you're a group, in which case do what you think is best for the majority.” Security or freedom is what it comes down to, I guess. I side with freedom and he with security. I find the security I need within myself. Confidence in your abilities is true security.
Having just done the LA workshop with Mystery, I can honestly say that the guy is a master ... of disaster. No, just kidding. He was very inspirational and I saw his method work right in front of my eyes when he was kissing a girl (complete stranger) within 10 minutes of entering a bar. His method of approaching women (and groups of people in particular) has to be seen to be believed. And I would recommend anyone who is thinking of doing his workshops in Australia or USA to do so ... fast. My skills and confidence have lifted up to a whole new level after the last workshop with him.
Not only do I now have the skills to approach groups of girls, but also mixed groups (guys and girls,) which I would not have done before. His practical encouragement and methods are so easy to learn that anyone who is serious about having lots of choice with women must do his workshop. The best thing about Mystery's workshops is the small numbers they accept and the very specific one-on-one feedback he and Style (his amazing wingman) give you right on the spot to correct any mistakes.
Since coming back home, I have had so many amazing experiences with beautiful women that it is almost like a dream. It's as if Mystery gave me the wings to soar above all the other AFCs and take my pick of all the beautiful women out there, swoop down and carry them off at my leisure. It's so easy for me now ... that if the word gets out about this ... I may get arrested for ruining it for all the other AFCs out there. Sorry guys : ): )
Got to go ... by the way, yesterday I kiss closed 3 girls and now have to choose from 4 girls who want to spend New Year's Eve with me. It's a tough life. Maybe I'll get them all over and make it a really fun night !
Here's a site with a collection of pick-up lines. Some are useful, some need some work, and some are just funny: www.linesthataregood.com/
Incidentally, my latest sarge was a bit of an eye-opener. I was sarging a girl in the mall, a young 18 year-old, when she said, “I have a boyfriend.” Not really in the mood to do an extensive Speed Seduction BF-Destroyer, I simply said, “You know, I don't really care if you have a boyfriend.” To which she was shocked, but yet brought a huge grin onto her face.
My realization ? Perhaps this should be my first BF-Destroyer. That is by saying “I don't care,” I am congruent with the alpha-male status, and I am explicitly implying that she can keep her boyfriend and still be with me at the same time. My first BF-Destroyer before this has been: “If it isn't anything serious and you're just kinda dating, then I think you and I should get to know each other.” I've been wondering if chick-logic would construe this as “she has to choose between me or him.” In which case, she would be less inclined to allow herself to open up to someone else. When framed in a way where she does not have to choose between one or the other (at least not yet) this may give her more of an excuse to get to know me at the same time.
If you don't know where you're going, how do you expect to get there ? I don't remember where I saw this but it comes handy here ...
1. Beliefs. Ross, Svengali and Alphahot1 talk about this at length. There are some who don't believe beliefs are important (Mystery.) I have found they changed my life not only with respect to women but in great many other ways. There are many ways to change beliefs / install new ones. The bottom line: If you believe you can, you can and vice versa.
2. Your personality and the style you're comfortable with. Some are better with club chicks, some work wonders at Starbucks, yet others are church specialists. You need to figure what you're comfortable with and what sarging style better fits your persona. You can't pretend to be a Rambo type personality if you're a quiet introvert software developer and vice versa. I think a great many guys either don't know about who they really are or don't take time to discover, and their luck occurs in a haphazard way. Svengali makes it a point to learn about yourself.
3. This will somewhat relate to #2 ... Type of women you want. Classy divas at posh parties or trailer park chicks ? Or anywhere else in the spectrum ? You have to be honest here. Now, not to see this as a limitation, 'cause some pros like Alphahot1 can successfully go for many types of women, but for most guys it will require a great deal of learning how to read the human mind and act on it. Initially, IMHO you have to set your goals on one, maybe two types of girls and then develop your game. As you develop it enough to where you feel comfortable with it, expand your types.
4. Have an open mind to notice and learn. There is a great old Chinese tale about a guy who wanted to learn wisdom from a sage and came over to his house, and while being offered a cup of tea was really impatient. The sage took his cup and flipped it over then. The guy got really mad and the sage told him, “You first need to empty the cup, if you want to put something in it. Empty your mind, otherwise you can't learn new things.” Here my realization is that it is important to learn concepts, not tricks or gimmicks. Be ready to admit you're wrong and change your model of life simply because life will keep amazing you in ways you don't dream about. An open mind helps.
5. Practice. My idea here is step by step. First you master how to be friendly, then how to be seductive, then how to be the one who gets chased. You can't get to stage three without the first two. Many guys that I personally know just want to get laid. This is all good and understandable, but for those of us who have made a commitment to “get this part of my life handled” (thank you, Sisonpyh, for this) this isn't even about getting laid. Getting laid comes as a reward for a new, shining, provocative and mysterious personality equipped with tools to deal with human minds ... now, after a year, I see that the concepts we're discussing here can be taken to great lengths in other areas of life, because we learn to deal with people, not just women. Think about it. We learn how to deal with women, and at the same time learn the limitations of an average AFC to deal with them, too ... evil, isn't it ? That's why I say: Guys, work on concepts, not tricks, 'cause you want to have a universal tool rather than a simple hammer.
6. Self-analysis. I think this is an important step some ignore. This is as important as any of the previous ones. Because without self-analysis there is no progress. After you come home, write it down and think about it. What went right / wrong ? What could have been done differently ? I realized that by ignoring this step, I essentially returned to square one. My skills improved in some areas, but I feel that I still don't know how much I learned/internalized during this year. Just reading Cliff's List and trying new things is not enough (though it is a damn good way to start !) Human beings have to internalize a concept / method to use it the way seduction concepts need to be used: quickly, efficiently and appropriately. Mastery takes time, thought and effort. Make sure you don't leave the “thought” part out ...
LR
: Papa Lays Latino Dancing Girl ... A Party Bus Seduction StoryIntroduction: My first weekend in San Francisco sarging and I got a new wardrobe, my first manicure / pedicure, met up with some fucking cool guys (Matador and Frenchman), and have a great lay report for my.speed-seduction.community brothers. Using Mystery Method and massive social proof really tightened my Game and is the foundation of my success in this field report.
Saturday night, Matador and I go to Ruby Skye to meet up with Frenchman and a booze bus. We decided to pay $35 to go on a party bus tour. Like a Cancun booze tour, this bus rolls from Ruby Sky and you bar hop from club to club, while getting free cover and an hour at several of SF’s hottest clubs.
8:30PM Hooking Up with Southerner Twins To start the night hot, I look around the dance club and socialize with everyone around the club. The first floor is dead, so I decide to check out the second floor and see a pair of sexy southerners and I am excited. So I walk up and smile with "Hey, is the party over here ? !" The girls reply, "Yeah. We were just checking you out. (giggles)" They aren’t at the club for the Bus, so I bust their balls for not being with the cool crew, and Matador enters the set soon after. While he occupies one of the twins, I take the hotter of the two girls aside and do a rune reading on a brilliantly lit red altar. As a reward for giving her a rune cast, I kiss her and then we go downstairs.
The bus crew has arrived and I say hello to Frenchman and sign in. The twins are catching a flight out to North Carolina at 4:00AM, but they said that they might be at the club when I return. The Bus will return to the club at 1 AM. So I think that I may have a backup lay if I don’t find a girl to bring home on my tour.
9:30PM Sharing the Love at Caliente The Party Bus arrives at a salsa club and, in all modesty, I am an outstanding dancer. So I immediately grab a girl and bring her out on the dance floor. She’s a large-breasted attractive woman and a great dancer, too. And after a couple songs, I leave HB Latino Dancer and decide to work the room. I talk to all of the girls in the house, joke around, high five guys, and have girls kiss me. After 30 minutes, my face is covered in lip stick with kiss marks, and girls and guys are approaching me and telling me that lipstick is on my face. I reply, “The ladies are marking their territory.”
Well, after dancing with a few other hot babes, I decide that built enough massive social proof and re-approach HB Latino Dancer. A dance and a rune reading later, I am kissing HB Latino Dancer and she introduces me to her friends. One of them is a psychic and is celebrating her bachelorette party. Her friends love me.
10:30 PM Making Out on the Bus Soon, the bus is off and I sit down next to Frenchman and Matador. We talk about the club while the rest of the passengers are getting aboard. One of the groups on the bus is a set of several AFCs with HBs. Walking down the aisle, one of the attractive girls looked at me and said, “Where are you from ?” I laugh at her and say, “Where are you from ? ! Is that the best pickup line you’ve got ? You kidding me ! Where you from ?” She says, “No. Really. Where are you from ?” I retort with a Joey from the TV show, Friends, accent, “No, baby ! Where you from ?” She decides to sit down next to me as I pretend to be trying to dodge her and says, “Tell me where you from.” I continually reply to her silly question, “Where are you from ?” in a louder and louder voice until I just grab her and start making out with her.
One of the chumps she came with pulls her off of me and drags her to the back of the bus. Matador is afraid that the guys want to start a fight with me, but I shrug it off cuz it’s not a first.
10:45 PM Free Shots and VIP Fun The next club is a large dance club and I see an attractive waitress that is selling jello shots. I walk straight up to her and say, “Mmmm. Hey, give me a jello shot for free.” She refuses so I say, "Hey, come on ! I’m the most entertaining guy that you'll meet all night. And you'll give me a free shot cuz I'm going to give you a Cube reading. I'll ask you 4 questions and tell you deep insights about you, and you'll love me for it and give me a free shot.” After cubing her, she gives me a free shot and I move in for a kiss, but she refuses with the claim that she'll get in trouble for kissing a customer.
I decide to work the room and return to her later in the night. Frenchman and I sneak into the VIP Lounge area of a private party for a record company by lying to the bouncer. We joke around with a set of girls, bust their balls, and write on a notepad to pass funny notes to them, Capt_BL style. However, the bouncer eventually finds out we are not part of the party and we eject the area, and go to the next club.
12:00 My Midnight Make Out Sessions There’s a gorgeous blonde girl standing alone near the dance floor. So as soon as I see her, my natural lion instinct is to grab her and say, “Come with me.” I bring her to the bar and tell her, “Now, I'm going to show you something. You have a good energy and something special about you, so I'm going to show something that I don't usually show to others.” She says, “Yeah. You probably do this to everyone.” So I “bust her balls” and say, “Hey. You’re trying to rip on what I want to share with you. Fine. You’re not getting any love tonight, baby !” She smiles and I continue with a rune cast. Then I point to my left cheek and say, “Give me a kiss.” She complies. I then point to my right cheek, and say, “Give me another.” She kisses again. So I point to my lips and say, “Now, give me a big children’s kiss,” and I pull her head to mine and we start making out.
After chatting and joking around, we both get up from the bar and return to our friends. I see HB Latino Dancer dancing alone so I open her again. I decide to bring her to the center of the elevated stage and I decide to really show off to gain social proof in the club. I'm mixing up dance moves between cha cha, salsa, techno-club dancing, and swing. She’s loving it, so I start kissing her. She stops and says, “I like you.” I say, “I like you, too.” She replies, “Really ?” and I smile. She says come with me to the bathroom. I think that we’re going to fuck in the bathroom, but it’s full of other women and all the stalls are full so I decide to wait for her outside because she decides that she really need to use the toilet.
I wait outside of the bathroom and talk to Frenchman. HB Latino Dancer approaches me and Frenchman says that he wants to take a picture. She says, “Sure !” and grabs me and starts kissing me while Frenchman takes pictures on his digital camera. She says she is going to meet up with her friends and leaves me with Frenchman, who asks me if I'm going to fuck her tonight and I say, “Yeah.”
I find HB Latino Dancer with her friends and befriend the group with some jokes, smiles, and funny negs. All of her friends love me and are making jokes about how my face is covered with kisses. Her UG friend wants to kiss me too, but I say that my face is full and point to my neck. She laughs and the bus is about to takeoff so we board the bus.
1:00 AM Papa Lays HB Latino Dancer The bus is returning to our original destination, but stops halfway there and I see HB Latino Dancer getting out of the bus with her friends because they are in front of their hotel. I run to the front of the bus and yell, “Hey ! Where are you going ?” HB Latino Dancer wiggles her finger at me as if to say “Come with me !” So I jump out of the bus and enter the hotel with HB Latino Dancer and her 3 friends. While going up the elevator, HB Latino Dancer starts acting like a little schoolgirl and says to her friends, “Look what I'm bringing home tonight ! Look at the gift I've got to bring home tonight ! Look at what I'm bringing home tonight !”
We walk towards her friends’ hotel room, and HB Latino Dancer asks if we can borrow their room. She says we need to drive to San Mateo to go to her house. So we call a cab, and HB Latino Dancer gets in and says, “I don't know what you’re expecting, but we are not going to have sex tonight. We can smooch. But if you are expecting more than that, well, maybe you should get out.” I respond with an innocent smile and say, “That’s cool. That’s cool.”
So we take a taxi out to San Mateo to her friend’s house. And then her friend drives us to her apartment. She’s hungry so she decides to make a midnight snack for us, a Mexican omelet with lots of hot sauce over it. We take the food upstairs to her bedroom, which is one large floor with a bathroom. I look around, and all the walls and the ceiling are covered with large mirrors. She looks at me and says, “I know what you’re thinking, but I bought the place this way. My friends joke around because they say, ‘I know you and why you have the mirrors’ (laughs).”
After eating some delicious food in her bed, HB Latino Dancer puts on a lingerie dress and gets into bed. I start to slip under the covers while she turns off the lights. She stops me, “You can't go into my bed wearing your clothes. Undress.” I comply and take off all my clothes and hop into bed and she takes off her dress, but keeps her panties on. I start kissing her, fondling her large breasts, and am getting very aroused. I start fingering her and begin to jab my cock at her pussy. She says, “You can't fuck me without a condom.” I say, “I have a condom.” She replies, “Ok (in a sweet and innocent girlie voice).”
I jump out of bed and can't find a condom so I ask her if she has one and she says yes. She gives me the condom and takes off her panties. Then I get on top of her and fuck her. The sex is really good and I want her to cum. So even though I came, I continue fucking her and ask her to get on top. She rides me while exclaiming how good my cock feels and how wet she’s getting. After she says, "I need to stop after I feel so really good." And she asks if I came all over her cuz we are both really wet. My concern is that the cum leaked out of the condom while she was riding me like a bronco. We take a break to chat, drink some cool water, and relax in bed. However, I'm getting aroused lying against to this beautiful woman’s naked body so I end up getting hard again. So I ask her for another condom and we continue fucking. We continue this routine the entire night.
8:00 AM Thanks for Sharing Your Body After a night full of sweat and fun, HB Latino Dancer drives me back to Frenchman’s house in San Francisco. The sun is out and the sky is clear with a rainbow in the background. We arrive at Frenchman’s house and she drops me off and we hug and say good bye. She smiles and says, “Thank you for sharing your body with me.”
Here is a recent post I made on my list answering a member's question. My seduction group can be found at groups.yahoo.com/group/Seduction_The_Art_Of/
List Member's Question: There is a fine line between being a jerk and not putting up with a woman's bullshit, and sometimes I have wandered over into the “being a jerk” area. I think we can all benefit if you can expand on this for us.
My Answer: I have given it a couple of days' thought as it is a fine distinction. Plus it relates to getting ahead in the world ethically. Stick with me here and I will tie all this in as to how it relates to seduction.
Ethically seems to be the only way to get ahead in the world on the big end. Sure there are some unethical people who make a few million. But they don't make the billions.
The way to be able to get ahead is related to being dominant. Going for what it is that you want without question. Facing resistance and opposition, creating your own path. What is it that is behind the Jerk mentality ? They use harmful manipulation. That is, either you do what they want or they will hurt you. Or do what they want and they will stop hurting you. Jerks dominate by bullying and using harmful manipulation.
Now stop and think, what is the meta message here ? They feel worthless, in that no one will want to cooperate with them willingly. They feel alone and abandoned. They feel they have nothing to lose, because deep inside they feel they have and are nothing. It can often be that sense of feeling that they are about to be abandoned that can make them over react.
When someone is allowing constant harmful manipulation to themselves they will be the willing victim of the jerks. Jerks can be women as well as men. So the constant victims also have a negative meta message. Meta Messages go both ways.
A jerk, when harming someone, will also receive his own harmful meta message. He is treating people badly. Therefore people have a low value in his mind. He, being a person himself, cannot escape this message. He thus reinforces his own lack of personal value. By virtue of the fact that he has to use harmful manipulation, his meta message to himself is that he is ineffective. This is because he cuts himself off from any other possible and more effective solution. His lack of choice is a huge limitation. Thus he does feel powerless behind the bullying. Personally these days when someone blows up at me, I realize that behind it all they are telling me that to them I am superior and they feel powerless compared to me. Naturally, in all future meetings I have more power with them. They can't figure out why.
Be sure to install this belief: When someone goes off on you, they are feeling powerless with you. Therefore they are saying that in some way you have more power than them. Thus they may also be giving you a clue to be more gentle in your handling of them. Be warned: some people do get off on getting you to blow up. They will intentionally do things to frustrate and upset you. Their reward is you losing it. Deny them the reward they seek. Or they will do it more.
Positive Manipulation Yes, you read that right, manipulation can be positive. We by our nature cannot not manipulate. We are born into manipulation. Hungry, we cry and mom feeds us. We need changing, we cry and we get changed. We smile and people smile back at us. From the moment we are born, our lives are all about manipulation. Go to the grocery store and we manipulate the clerk to let us walk right out of the store with bags of groceries.
How do we accomplish that ? By giving in exchange the agreed upon amount of manipulation. In the words of the law it is “quid pro quo.” Something for something, the very heart of contract law. So even our legal system recognizes and approves of positive manipulation. Our legal system also recognizes and outlaws harmful manipulation. In contract law, if there is an ambiguity in the contract, the legal definition is the definition of the person who did not write the contract. Forcing people against their will into a contract is against the law. Using coercion and threats of extortion are jailable offenses. So we have positive manipulation. In which each person gets something that they want. Getting sex is not so much manipulation as both people wanting it. The key is getting them to want it with you. Here you need to provide them a benefit. In return, they will provide you a benefit. Naturally sex will happen, it is a normal human desire.
Dominance
Then, if jerks dominate in a negative way, is there a positive way to dominate ?
Yes, there is a positive way to dominate.
Remember, the key here is that both parties get something out of the deal. And dominance based upon a sense of personal worth is healthy. The options that arise from your personal worth give greater power and connection to the dominance. Here we also add walk away power. If someone steps out of line, you always have the option of walking away, even if it is a temporary removal of your good will. You send the message that you will not put up with that. And by not overreacting, you are not creating a distance. You are simply removing your good will, which is a benefit. They are free to choose if they want to continue to receive the benefit of your good will. How will they regain your good will ? They have options that, of course, must meet your decision as to how to regain your good will.
Women need men to be dominant.
This is why women give us trouble. Because they want a man who is strong and won't put up with crap. The message is if you will put up with crap from her, how can you protect her ? Get it straight: being dominated has a benefit for women. So women test us all the time to see if we are strong.
Dominance allows women to feel safe and protected.
Thus women gain a major benefit from your dominance The key here is she gets to feel safe and protected. Jerks remove this benefit from the equation. The control of a jerk comes from hurting them. Having a sense of self worth allows you to be dominant and loving.
When having sex, women want men to take the attitude, “I'm going to do this to you and you're going to love it.” Here we have domination and the women are getting a major benefit from it. No woman wants a tepid lover.
So how can you gain this ability to dominate and keep it on the plus side ? Realize that women want a strong man and provide that for her. Build your sense of self worth. Tell yourself that you are somebody. Make a list of your accomplishments and read it daily. Give yourself credit for doing things right and focus on your strengths. Understand that at all times there are many options. Once you begin to think this way, you will be surprised at the new options that come up in a situation where before all you could do was blow up. Sometimes just let the person pick his or her own punishment. They will come up with something bigger than you could have ever gotten them to agree to, had you had suggested it.
Realize that everyone wants to feel accepted. By giving them this they are going to give you something in return. You make her feel better then she has ever felt with anyone else. So in return, she is up for more adventurous sex, if that is your pleasure. Or maybe she is willing to blow off her boyfriend and come spend the night with you. Or if you want, she will say yes if and when you ask her to marry you. It's all up to you.
Also, psychological research has discovered that the man is in charge of whether or not a relationship succeeds or fails. As men, it is our responsibility to make or break the relationship. And I know how some of you feel reading that last sentence. I used to feel the same way, totally at a loss as to why a girl broke up with me. I have felt that way in the past many times. But now I know better. A common reason before was I had not been dominant enough. For some other guys, they played the jerk too much. So believe in yourself and be compassionately dominant.
After a year in Japan, I was hooked on Asian women. There is really a lot of information to cover in my tactics with them, so I will just hit on some highlights here. But seduction is an art form, as complex and knowledge-rich as any field of human endeavor. One email alone wont suffice to tell you what to do. So if you want more details, go to the sites and posts I mention at the end of this mail.
I almost always open on Japanese women in English. If they don't speak it well, then I have the upper hand in leading them. If they are with a friend, I can also then feign ignorance of the language, and eavesdrop on their opinion of what I say / do. If they don't speak at all, I switch to Japanese.
Fashion can be a good aid to you. If you can afford brand name clothes, Japanese women will be more attracted on average. At the very least, I find that they really like a man who wears a suit. I, of course, don't wear a suit out to bars, but it helps when I pick up women during commuting hours in the subways.
I assume that they prefer me for what I am, a foreigner. This is my “frame.” I even ask them questions to validate that frame, with presuppositions. For example: “So, what is it that you like about American men better than Japanese men ?” If you are older, you should add to your frame that they will also like you *because* you are older, not in spite of it. To validate that, just look around and notice how many Japanese women actually do date older men. If she gives you resistance about the age difference (or if you can sense that is an issue for her) then get rapport somehow (e.g. say that you also used to think that way) then work up a pattern / story around how Amuro Namie married that dancer Sam guy who was so much older than her, and what a great fantasy life they now have.
I always indirectly paint myself as her fantasy. I know that many Japanese women love Hollywood and Disney, so I capitalize on the romantic images portrayed by these media and shape myself or “suggest” myself into those images. I ask who her favorite movie star is, then what her ideal man's traits are, then use her answers to become that subtly and seduce her. Self points, tonality, kino , anchoring, submodality manipulation, alpha tendencies, underlook, etc. are all tools I use.
If you are really interested in learning how to do this, understanding the terms above, etc. it's going to take a lot of effort, reading, and practice. I have been studying for 2.5 years myself, and still am learning. I suggest reading thoroughly through our site www.fas.speed-seduction.com and searching the archives (almost 200K posts) for keywords like Japan, or posts by myself (TPUA or TokyoPUA) or by Maniac_High, Kipp, Rio, et al. The lay reports are the best posts for learning, I think. My most recent post about HBSubway describes how I fully seduced a J girl in Tokyo in under an hour in full detail. Also, from fastseduction, there are also links to Maniac's page that is full of posts about Japan that will help you.
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