She Broke Their 24-Hour Record

This is fucking hilarious ... and so true ! No. 45 by God !

Rules To Being A Man

1. Don't call, ever.
2. If you don't like a girl, don't tell her. It's more fun to let her figure it out by herself.
3. Lie.
4. Name your penis. Be sure it is something narcissistic and unoriginal, such as “Spike.”
5. If you lose something that belongs to someone else, tell them you mailed it to them.
6. Here's a good pickup line, “My girlfriend's pregnant, will you go out with me ?”
7. Drink Vernors. (What ever that is.)
8. Play with yourself. Talk about it.
9. Be as ambiguous as possible. If you don't want to answer, a nice grunt will do.
10. Always remember: You are a man. Therefore, no matter what, it isn't your fault.
11. Lie.
12. Girls find it attractive if a man has had more women than baths.
13. Never ask for help. Even if you really, really need help ... don't ask. People will think you have no penis.
14. Women like it when you ignore them. It arouses them.
15. Vanity is the most important trait for a man to have. Whenever you pass a reflective surface, check your hair, clothing, etc.
16. If you don't like a girl, but can't think of a good enough reason why, just come up with trite, meaningless explanations like, “I don't know. I just don't like her personality.”
17. If, God forbid, you have to talk to a girl on the phone, use only monosyllabic words and noises. Bodily noises are permissible.
18. Two words: Hack and spit.
19. Everyone finds a man more attractive if he can write his name in urine.
20. One sure way to make a girl like you is to go after her best friend. She will then see what she's missing and love you for not giving up on her.
21. Tell her you will call. Then, refer back to rule #1.
22. Say things like “Wha ...?”
23. Don't wear matching clothes. People will think your girlfriend picked it out, and it will cramp your style on picking up chicks.
24. Lie.
25. Deny everything. Everything.
26. Good break up line, “It's not you, it's me.”
27. If you like a girl, tell all your female friends about her. Because if any of your female friends like you, they'll really want to know.
28. Don't have a clue.
29. If you get a clue, pretend you didn't and disregard it.
30. No means yes.
31. Yes means no.
32. If you don't get sex whenever you want, your balls will shrivel. Enforce this rule at all times.
33. If anyone asks, you have had sex in all possible positions and locations. Improvise.
34. Much like an orgasm signifies the end of a sexual peak, sex often signifies the end of a relationship. 35. Feelings ? What feelings ?
36. Tell this to your girl before you have sex, “Don't worry. If you don't have an orgasm, you won't get pregnant.”
37. Life is one big competition. If someone is better than you at anything, either pretend it's not true or kick some ass.
38. Gays are an unacceptable part of our society. Take it upon yourself to personally eradicate all of them from the planet.
39. Do notmake decisions about relationships. If you are backed into a corner and must make a decision, stall. If you still must come up with an answer, leave yourself a loophole for escape. Example: Question: “Honey, will you take me out for a romantic dinner ?” Answer: “Yes, if you can guess how many sperm I produce each day.”
40. Every sentence that anyone says can be contorted to have sexual meaning. Do so.
41. At any given opportunity, point out how things look like various genitalia. If, by chance, you have Play-Doh, make sure you make an exact replica of your penis. Measure to make sure it's right.
42. Lie.
43. “Love” is not in your vocabulary. Don't even think about saying it.
44. A general rule: if whatever you're doing does not satisfy you completely in 5 minutes, it's really not worth it.
45. Diss your girl friend. Beg and plead until you get her back. Diss her again. Repeat cycle.
46. Lie.
47. Always apologize. Never mean it.
48. If you hurt someone, pretend you care. Don't.
49. Try to have a good memory, but it's OK if you forget trivial things. You know, like your girlfriend's birthday and eye color.
50. Ignorance solves problems. If you can't see them, they can't see you.

My Comment: As a general rule, I don't run jokes and lists like this here, but this seemed just so apropos ...

GameMaster on getting together recently with an old girlfriend):

I was too wild before. Even though she was giving me all the signals, I dropped the ball.

When we met today, I started flirting with the seating hostess like crazy. She was about 20. Susan just shook her head and said, “You are such a bad boy.” I took her arm and said, “Yeah, but you still love me.” She agreed. “God help me, but I do love you, I sure do.”

“Susan, I'm glad to hear that. Isn't it nice to know that you don't even know how much ... yet ?”

“God you are bad.”

We never had the sex thing at all, and she's such a money whore I gave up. My favorite Susan story is one night when she had invited me to go downtown dancing with her ... well, she had dates with eight guys that night. Eight fucking guys ! And she thought that was perfectly normal. That's basically when I bailed, but she has slowed down a step.

I think the gang could benefit from discussing their views on women, perhaps at your request. I live in Argentina, where people are pretty obsessed with sex. The fact that I find the comments about women on your list harsh is a bad sign.

My Comment: Theo and Divine (Daddy's Little Hypno Slut) recently unsubscribed because they feel that the comments here have been slanted too much in a negative way against women, from guys who are only after sex. My first reaction was, “... and your point is ...?”

But seriously, I understand that there is a lot of anger and resentment among guys who are frustrated that they haven't been able to be successful with women (or who have had bad experiences) and I think this inevitably will show up in what they write here.

It has been said to me on more than one occasion that it seems that most of the time when some guy gets very successful with women, it was spurred on by a degree of rage from some deeply hurtful experience. I think that to pretend that these feelings aren't there is misleading, but it is more important and productive to get past that and change unhealthy attitudes to more positive ones. Comments ?

On the SS front, things are moving along. I'm using the net still as a springboard / stepping stone into the real world while I get my shit back together here in TO. I think it's a great way to practice, and I've found that eloquence, even without embedded commands, is very, very powerful. I had one chick on the east coast ready to dump her husband. All she wanted to do was fuck my brains out ... all from online chat and phone calls. But that's over with ...

One I'm working one now (9+) was on WebPersonals. She had to kill her account because she got so many responses (459) in one day that she just couldn't handle them all. She got an email thanking her and telling her she broke their 24-hour record for most responses. And guess which of those 459 she's thinking about today ? :-)

I think what I've learned is that writing very descriptively, and eloquently, forces the HB (provided she's intelligent) to read slower and think about what she is reading, to absorb it simply by trying to understand. Simply-worded text is easy to read and forget. But if one were to express oneself in a manner that evokes imagery and a resolution of metaphor, then it can be likened to using a sledgehammer to pound a spike into a log, instead of endless taps with a lead pipe ...

My Comment: Add in some ambiguity and complicated wording that truly doesn't mean anything (a la GameMaster) and I think you've got them where you want them.

MindAuger: Ya know, this never occurred to me, and my first reaction to the idea was to wonder why an HB wouldn't just sit there with a blank look on her face upon hearing something that truly doesn't mean anything. Then, to my amazement, I realized I had a perfect example of exactly this saved in a chat transcript.

Out of the blue, I typed in a phrase I discovered long ago, which was actually composed by me and a friend alternating words. We'd do this for kicks to make nonsensical but grammatically correct stories online, thus unknowingly improving our English.

Needless to say, I was completely surprised at her response to my nonsense, but what can I say ? It's living proof that complicated ambiguity works ... it just blows me away ! I just slipped it into a perfectly normal, understandable conversation.

Ambiguity and redundancy ... even earlier in high school we would, usually on camping trips, try to stretch out the most simple sentence into a rambling discourse that was, again, grammatically correct. So “We need the other paddle” would become something like “It would become quite apparent that at this juncture, we have a need for the additional flattened piece of wood whose function is to propel our water vessel across the shimmering lake we traversed earlier in the day.” Yeah, no kidding !

My Comment: My intuition is that we are onto something here with complicated, flowery words which have little or no meaning ... it appears women are excited by men who seem to be a little beyond their reach intellectually. We need to explore this further.

MindAuger: Indeed, this particular HB has told me often that she really loves the way I write. She says that (like many girls) she likes a man who knows how to express himself.

Though the big question is, how much of it should have little or no meaning ? The nonsensical stuff would seem to activate a different “fascination mechanism” in their brains than the words that are understood and go right to her core (a big benefit of the net chat is it strips off anything superficial, giving your almost direct access to the person, and she knows you're talking to her mind, not her face, body, or some other rather irrelevant element of her).

As for HBs being excited about those a little beyond their reach, I'd have to agree:

An interesting point is that I believe I have used very little “classic” SS here. I've thrown in some embedded commands here and there, but virtually no directing of her imagination through description, and no patterns. There's certainly a moderate dose of sexual innuendo being exchanged, but you're right ... there's something about what I'm doing that is effective as hell, and I don't see it as being part of the standard suite of SS techniques. I used similar techniques on a chick out on the east coast, and next thing I knew she was ready to leave her husband (so I ended it there ... too much baggage).

I haven't deliberately made my pursuit a challenge for her through the usual techniques of mixed signals, being overly cocky, or basically being indifferent or “hard to get.” I did pull the “Well, if that's the way you feel, I'd better just go and you can hook up with one of the other 458 guys that responded to you.” And, of course, she did a 180 on the spot. :-)

But basically the challenge that makes it interesting for her is not that she thinks I can take it or leave it as much as her realizing that she has found what she's been searching for in vain ... which I became as I learned it through careful questioning and listening. Lucky for me, I didn't really have to change who I am or how I communicate to be that person. So the fascination factor is very high.

By being that guy (funny and just a bit cocky ... thank you, Sisonpyh !), and not supplicating, it seems to be working like magic. Hell, I even told her that while it wasn't a general rule of mine, I've never slept with a girl I didn't know for at least five months (by listening carefully, I knew she wasn't into casual sex) and she said that was very, very cool and sexy. But you can bet your ass I'm gonna close way before then !

Responding to Joseph's question about the Alexander technique: As I understand it, it's a method of physiotherapy or the like, invented in the 1920s or thereabouts.

(Commenting on Mystery: I disagree. If you can't find them, get their attention (the opener), disarm their obstacles, provide social proof and then get them to join you in a 1:1 set on the couch, then you cannot begin SS ... Opening, raising interest, removing obstacles or people, noise and time constraints, getting them to trust you enough to sit with you. Then you can do SS.)

Assman responds: Yes, sir, you are correct. Get their attention, disarm them, provide social proof , etc ... I suppose I was referring more to my shock routines. I don't need to provide social proof and disarm them with brilliant chit chat. My opener is shocking, and that gets their attention. If they go into alpha state of consciousness, then they are disarmed. All I must do then is deliver deepening patterns and suggestions. This, of course, does not always work, and then I either run away, or revert to more conventional tactics.

For the average PUA your approach is superior, and even for me, I often get better results with it. But I am a man, and sometimes I want to forcefully dominate a women right from the get go. Sweet talking women, and using gimmicks and wingmen work, but the rush you get from a paternal induction (masculine, shock type) is unmatched by the maternal seduction / induction, where you sort of lull them to sleep.

Try it sometime. Sneak behind a woman, touch her before you say a word to her, then speak to her with authority in your voice. Maybe even present yourself as an authority. It need not make sense, or seem believable. Bark questions at her: “I'm the monitor here, what are you doing ? Where are you going ? We have been watching you, you may be in violation, I'm afraid you're in trouble. You must present me with some I.D.” Watch her eyes and body language, confuse her with conflicting statements, keep your hands on her to show control. Be overbearing, and even sinister. Do these experiments and see just how timid people really are, and take advantage of the sheep who cower before you.

My Comment: This is a pretty radical formula ... what results have you had with this ? How long do you keep this behaviour up ? What kind of reactions have you had to this ?

I saw Sisonpyh's post, and in keeping with Sisonpyh's concept of telling the babes something very profound, I expanded on his language to form a pattern that is pretty damn powerful. See what you think:

“You don't have me fooled for a minute, dear.”

When she says, “What are you talking about ?” you respond, “You don't fool me for a minute with this act that you put on. I can see right through that false mask that you wear when you are with people. Now, I know that most men probably fall for this persona of yours. You try to put out this attitude that says: 'I'm beautiful and super-confident and even arrogant and aloof and indifferent and so you always get your way' because most men buy this act. So, for most of your adult life, you've been able to get by on your looks ... but I know something about you that none of them know ... and that is this: that there's really another side of you. The side that none of them get to see. The side of you that's on the inside. I can tell there's something else going on inside of you that is completely different from what you show on the outside to the rest of the world. (I'll bet you a dollar right now that I know something about you that no one who's only known you for 5 minutes has ever known ... ) You may act tough on the outside, but that's not who you really are on the inside, because on the inside, you're actually extremely sensitive, and emotional, and maybe even insecure. And you have feelings on the inside, and sometimes they hurt. For example, If someone says a negative comment to you, you might act like it doesn't bother you ... but it really affects you on the inside. You'll think about it all the way home ... I know that secretly you're as sensitive and emotional as a little girl ... it's just that you never let most people see that part of you ... and there's another thing, too. And that is that you feel like there's something missing inside. Like there's this emptiness inside of you. Like you're not being fulfilled in your life. And no matter how hard you try, you've never been able to find any long lasting satisfaction. Whether it's emotional, (spiritual), physical, sensual or sexual. you haven't been able to find a relationship where you could really feel that deep connection inside of you with another person. So far. That special kind of deep connection that fulfills you right down to your soul. with another person that knows exactly how you feel. That knows exactly what you want. And knows exactly what you need. And he's able to give you what you've always wanted, what you've always needed, (you can add this next part if you think it's appropriate) because he knows how to love, and he knows how to show it, and he knows how to share that love with you. He just knows. (Now, continue to link and amplify her fulfillment to you.)

This is what I came up with off the cuff. If anybody else can expand or comment on it, I'd really like to hear it.

My Comment: As a general rule, I don't encourage patterns here as I think they are more appropriate to the SS list. But as this relates to Sisonpyh's posts, and since he posted his stuff here and he is not on the SS list, here it is.