SPECIAL EDITION: BRIAN INTERVIEW

SPECIAL EDITION: BRIAN INTERVIEW

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Brian Interview:

Brian was the subject of a great David DeAngelo interview for his Interviews with Dating Gurus CD series. I really liked what I heard but wanted to get more details and David D. has courteously put me in touch with Brian and I asked him if he would do another interview for my list. It turns out that Brian has been a subscriber to these emails so my request fell on sympathetic ears. What follows is what I consider a great piece from someone who has truly mastered the art of dealing with women.

Clifford: Brian, thank you for agreeing to be interviewed for my list. How about we start with a short introduction about yourself (not everyone got the DYD interview or will necessarily remember it)?

Brian: Of course we have to start with introductions, my least favorite part! LOL I am an entrepreneur, owned my own engineering & manufacturing company for 8 years or so, was a millionaire before I was 30, bankrupt by 32. Currently (at 34), I put together investment real estate deals (as money allows), and I am working at setting up a new website to teach people how to use their money to make money. The company will be open for business next week. My initial response rate has been huge, so I see this company exploding (h t t p ://w w w .launchcentral.com/D/FFASA/200).

However, it's very similar to when I first started my company. My net worth is growing, but I am broke. LOL It's a good thing I don't take women out on dates. Before, when I was a millionaire, I did "buy" my dates. I owned a new Vette, new truck, motorcycle, boats, wave runners, etc. I even had remote control boats to race in the pool, while we sat in the hot tub. Now, with all of this, I had all kinds of dates. I dated Hooters girls, models, centerfolds, and the hottest women around. I did not, however, have any skills in actually dealing with women. Being wealthy kept the demand for me high, which naturally led to me not chasing, so women pursued me. I still didn't handle them correctly though, because I spent TONS of money taking women on cruises, or trips, shopping sprees, etc. This became painfully obvious after my brief marriage, and very bitter & expensive divorce. My ex wife was the hottest woman I ever "bought," and after the divorce, and during the bankruptcy I found my natural chick magnets (money
and toys) were gone. So I had to learn how to attract women without money or toys (when I say I was broke, I mean like I couldn't afford to even drop $50 for dinner). I also got custody of my son (10 months at the time, just turned 4), so I don't have the freedom I use to have in dating women and spending time with them.

Currently, I have gotten bored. There are four women I have been seeing for over a year (18, 22, 25 & 31). In addition, I have slept with 60 or 70 women in the last 2 years. I finally learned how to attract women, and still not impress or buy them. Most of the women have been between the age of 18 to 25, but some have been as old as 49 (aerobics instructor who is soooo hot). Also, I have only had like one or two one night stands in the last year, so most of these women have stayed around for a while, even though they know I am seeing others, and I don't take them out.

Also, I don't sleep around like I did right after my divorce. While I was learning how to attract women with just my personality, I did sleep with lots of hot women, but now, given the diseases and moral issues with hundreds of women, I tend to be VERY picky, and just keep the hot women who also have great personalities and something going on in their life around. I use to think quantity, now I am all about quality. Of course this comes from getting to the point where I have lots of choice. I do, however, flirt and test all women.

Clifford: I would like to get into a bit more detail about your dating history - you say you "bought" your dates when you had a lot of money, but how did that actually happen? What I mean is, how did you meet them, did they just see the trappings of wealth and pursue you (as you indicate above) or did you do or say certain things to let them know that you had money - what I am driving at is that I know that a lot of guys who are reading this think that there are certain "hooks" that attract women in the world outside (eg. looks, fame, money, etc.) but it's rare that we get an insight to what that actually is like (since most of them have no real idea of what being wealthy is like and many probably think they will get all these women "when" they do get rich). I know in your interview you talked about how you were just hanging out with the woman that became your wife, that you had by chance made the right moves - I think there's a bit more to the actual process than to just produce your bank account statement.

Brian: I bought my dates in lot's of different ways. For example, when I met Mrs. Hawaiian Tropicana, I was in my Vette, dressed very nice, and was just walking into a patio bar. She was very hot, with long brown hair. Well, she saw me getting out of my car (we are just a few cars away from each other). I say hi (I cringe thinking about what a jack ass I was back then), and she says like "nice car." I agree, we talk briefly, with her asking me what I do, and me bragging about the company I own. Anyway, got her number and called for a first date. That date was me taking her out in a limo for an expensive dinner and dancing, roses and champagne included. When I asked for the date,

I told her what I had in mind (limo and the restaurant The Polo Club). Anyway, that first date cost me close to a grand. Some of our future dates were cruises and weekend trips to Florida. All told, I probably spent $15K in two months on her. I honestly felt I had to spend cash to keep girls interested. Now, I date the same girls or hotter, I am older, and they have to buy their own beer when we go out. LOL

Another example would be the bar I frequented back then. I was a regular at a little tavern that was a great Friday night hangout. At one point or another every person in town seemed to come through. I spent so much cash there, they would reserve the two best tables in the bar for me and my group. A typical bar tab on a Friday night was close to a grand. I would see a table of hot girls, and just pick up their tab, or send them a $100 pitcher of shots (not just one but 20 or so). Once again, I spent cash to get women's attention, and it worked. The downside is I felt kinda trapped. Sometimes I resented always dropping that much cash, and there were always guys and girls who came around just for the crumbs of the money I spent. I knew I was being used, but I got laid fairly regularly (not like now, but still better than most) and just figured that was the price of having hot women.

Now, when you date lots of hot women, and spend lots of money on these women, they talk. And yes, many times women would seek me out, just cause their girlfriend told them about the money I had, or my house or whatever, and that would get the girl interested. So, over half the women just heard or saw the trappings of wealth, and showed interest. That was my cue to try and impress them.

And Clifford, honestly, if you have money you can buy women. You can spend money on your car and clothes to attract them, buy the whole bar a round of drinks, brag about your wealth, and you will date hot women. But most of the time the relationship feels a lot like being at a strip club. Want to see some tit, drop some cash. Even more for a lap dance. Do you honestly think the girl likes you? And you know, most women are taught to want a guy like that. They really try to like/love you. They see you as a great provider, who obviously likes them. But deep down that type of behavior is repelling to them. Even though it isn't discussed you both know you are paying for their affections. They won't respect you, and I just can't see a relationship starting like that working.

As far as my ex, yeah that started different. I knew her for about 3 years before I got my first date. After high school she started working for my accountant, and did modeling. I always flirted, with little or no reciprocation on her side. Then one day at her office I noticed she seemed upset. She had just broken up with her bf (a month or so earlier) and the new guy she was dating was being a dick. For the first time in three years I didn't flirt, I just related to her. I never figured I had a chance. A little after that I was on my bike and I ran into her. I offered her a ride, which she accepted. We headed out of town, riding on the back roads. I took us up to the lake and spill way, where we walked a bit. We just skipped rocks in the creek and bs'd about guy/girl problems. I never thought I had a chance (she is that beautiful), so I never even tried. I was 29, she was 20. On the ride back to town, she kissed my neck, and that night I slept with her. If I would have had my skill with women now, I would pr
obably still be with her. I treated her like all the other girls though, spending $500 a month just to send her flowers every other day, and buying her a new car and stuff.

After our brutal divorce she became my guinea pig. Every new tactic or ah-ha I had when learning about attraction got used on her. For the last year she had been laying down lots of hints about getting back with me, but I just can never go back. Too many things have been said and done on her part.

Clifford: Ok, lets move on to the change. I remember that in your DYD interview it appeared that the DYD materials were really the springboard for you "getting it." But many guys read the DYD and other materials and, while understanding it, don't "get it." Can you go into detail about your transformation? What insight can you give to those who haven't been able to truly grasp how attraction works?

Brian: Yes, from the material I read, DYD was the best start. But it is, as you wrote, just a spring board. The one thing that David D. wrote that none (or very few others did) was that he kept a journal and made notes. Well, this gave me the idea and I did the same thing. And I used lots of his, and other people's ideas to practice and try. You see, I didn't "get it" when I first read it either. I was going through my divorce and bankruptcy when I started this research. I knew I wouldn't be having sex till after the divorce cause I wanted custody of my child, and I refused to give her any ammunition. But damn man, I was frustrated, the woman I loved walked out on me and Jr., my company was going down the tubes, I felt lonely, trapped and basically angered. Now, angered is down playing it. So, after looking back at the money I spent on women, and the bragging and showing off I tried to do to impress them, I realized I was 31, with very few female friends. In all truth, take away the money and I didn't have wh
at it took to get a date.

I started reading. I couldn't date, while we were going through the divorce, my son was with my ex, and I slept at a friend's, so I had plenty of time. I read everything, then I started applying. I would try different approaches, teasing, c*cky and funny, being nice.... anything I could think of just meet girls and get numbers. And this was everywhere I went.

In the beginning I was shot down repeatedly (100's and 100's of times). But I knew I would figure it out. Now, I purchased a dozen online ebooks about dating. I literally have hundreds of books on dating and relationships, including books written for girls. If there is an E-zine online that talks about dating, I would receive a copy. Most give the same advice Cosmo would give a man. Smile, be nice, show lots of attention. And, for me, this just didn't work. But David's remarks and c&f did tend to spark a little interest. So I would do what I could to set up scenarios to just be able to say what David wrote. And I started getting responses.

Now I don't use everything he writes about, and I do use ideas or personality traits I cultivated from other places. More than anything the information gave me a starting place to go and do the things successful guys do to meet women. If you do what they do enough, you see the reactions of the women, it all starts to make sense. Now it's just part of my personality, and I put very little thought into interacting with females. It has become natural.

After a year or so, I went from not being able to get a number, to getting 20-30 a week. Even my best male friend took big notice how easy and fast I could get a girl's number. My timed record is 48 seconds from first walking up to her, to getting the number, and my friend timed me on a bet.

I have also been a marketer by nature, and I used the same strategy with women. I just got over all my BS about how I think an interaction with a women should be, and started looking at things from a woman's point of view. What would make a women want to buy me? How do you make someone buy a product? I cultivated those traits that make people want something. And one of the best is "you can't have it." Most people will touch a sign that reads 'wet paint' just to see if it is dry. I use the same logic to entice women to chase me. I don't get their numbers anymore (for the most part), I don't call them, and when I first meet them I always ask questions that make me look very picky and that they don't qualify for. Oh, I also never, ever let a women tell me what to do, or act rude in any way around me. Period. I will bust them hard for this crap, and not jokingly.

Something funny about that, the hotter the girl, the more likely she is to tell men what to do, sometimes in a straight forward manner, sometimes subtly. I have become very sensitive to this and I flat bust them on it. If they get pissed off (half do) I simply walk away. Don't give me any BS, and we will have fun, fuck with me and I don't get mad, I just cut you off. I have told girls, while they are running their bitch shield to 'stop.... this just isn't going to work out. I could never kiss your lips at night, if they are going to chew my ass all day' I heard it in a song, and just adopted it. That is even more attractive to them. When you demonstrate you are a man that demands respect and you are not willing to kiss butt just to talk to a pretty girl, they will usually seek you out after they think about it.

Clifford: I would like you to elaborate on is how you wrote that you don't take women out on dates. Can you go into some more detail about what you do specifically from the time you meet them to the time you get together with them? Also, I want to ask you is about confidence. One thing that comes through loud and clear on your DYD interview is that you have a total sureness about what you are doing with women - there's like no hesitation, you know what you are going to do, how you are going to do it, when you are going to do it, etc. The level of confidence that comes through is very, very high - how did you achieve this? Were you always like this? You must certainly have met many other guys who don't have this level of confidence with women - what would you suggest they do to increase their self esteem?

Brian: No, I don't typically date (like pick a girl up and take them out). Honestly, when I first meet a girl, whether I take her number or she takes mine, and we talk on the phone that first time, if the conversation is going really well, I will just tell her a time I am free and where to meet me for coffee. Usually Starbucks, but a restaurant will do. If I can tell she is REALLY into me, I suggest she come to my place and we make dinner together (usually dinner comes after coffee). I don't offer to pick her up, I don't buy flowers, I may have one bottle of wine in the house for dinner, but I am not a big drinker, and I learned that just having enough wine for a glass or two seems sophisticated,but it's not enough to get them drunk. This seems to build trust with them fast.

Now, coffee dates tend to really intrigue the girl. I am not trying to impress them, obviously. And, even if I like the girl I usually only spend an hour with them talking. And that's what I do, just talk and tease them, learn about them. If you listen they will tell you exactly how to win them.

Dinner is a little different. I plan easy meals, but I make sure everything is cooked slow, and we start after they arrive. I always give them a task, like making the salad, orc utting up vegetables. And we talk and tease. I treat them like an old friend who has stopped by after being out of the country for a year. After dinner, we sit and talk awhile,then I usually suggest a walk around the neighborhood. A little exercise is great, and you keep talking. Then I suggest a movie, and will get a bunch of pillows and a blanket for us. A pillow fight usually follows. That is a great activity for getting a women sexually charged and it is fun. I usually resist even kissing them, although I will enter their space all the time (like I know I can kiss them and have them if I want, but I like the tension - most women call me a tease around this time). After a couple of hours in this situation you could cut the sexual tension with a knife. They usually kiss me first, and then I just follow the 2 step forward, 1 step bac
k rule. After this, where it goes is usually up to you. When I first starting getting good at this, I did sleep with the girl the first time I could. Now I don't, I make them wait and jump through a few more hoops.

As far as confidence, yeah, I am confident. Thanks for the compliment. And no, I wasn't always like this. Playing sports helped, building a business helped, but my confidence was shattered after my ex walked out, and when I first started meeting women without money I was shot down so often it scared the hell out of me. I remember a few weeks after I started studying the DYD system, I saw a very beautiful women out eating with some friends. It was my first approach since that first date with my ex. Iwent up and started to introduce myself to that girl. My knees were shaking, my voice cracked, and I didn't speak in a complete sentence. LOL Bless her heart, the girl I talked to was sweet, and her friends were nice, and she said no to the request for a number very nicely.

For the next year I made myself talk to people. I would approach women trying different approaches (body language, voice, words, etc.). I also made myself talk to everyone.

Old, young, men, women, children, whatever. Now, if I go out, within 15 minutes I have met every person there, including the kids. And nothing bad has happened. Nobody hit me, no one threw a drink in my face. Some people liked me, some didn't. Most are at least nice.As I continued to learn, and became better with people, and specifically women, I found it just doesn't matter. Some people will like you, no matter what you do, some will hate you, just for the way you look. It just didn't matter. Now, I care about people, but not what they think about me.

The other thing that has really made a difference in how people deal with me and like me is how I treat them. You could be rich, beautiful, whatever....... I don't care. I dated a woman last year that won a Grammy in 1999, and was up for one this year. She has a few albums out, has been on TV and done some children's sing-a-longs. I was interested in her, but not overly impressed. As far as I could tell, it was a job, and the fame she did have meant she rarely got to 'put her hair down' so to speak. So, with all women all I care about is how they treat me, and how they treat others. Act rude, and not only will I bust you and call you on it, I will walk away. I will do this to a man or awoman. This is part of my dominant personality. No one gets to disrespect me. And I don't try to force people into my mold or change them, I just cut contact. Most womenwho test you on this issue will see you don't get upset or controlling, but you are in control and if she wants to be around you that kind of behavior is not ac
cepted.Now, doing this has not only improved my confidence, but has made me very popular. There are 3 taverns I go to about once a month. I walk in, and know at least half thepeople in the place. I spend the first 30 minutes just shaking hands and hugging girls I know. I am not around them enough to seem predictable or boring. And new peoplethat see me come in and say hi to that many people want to know me. Especially women. Then I walk around and meet others. And I spend just as much time with the oldman sitting alone in the corner as with the table of 10 hot women. I don't latch on to anyone, and I get to talk to everyone. This tends to make women want to know me.

Now, you asked what advice I would give to a man who wants to develop his self esteem & confidence. Let me use an analogy. Take the bench press. I could show you howto set up the bench, I could show you how to breathe, where to put your hands, your feet and the rest of your body. I could even show you the range of the movement, andhow slowly to lower the weight, and how fast to lift it. I could tell you how much I start with, and end with, how many reps and sets I do. I could even show you my diet andhow I eat to fuel a workout. But you will never, ever get stronger or bigger by watching me. You must do it. It's really simple. Know you are NOT going to walk into a placeand be treated like Brad Pitt. Know your interactions are not going to be what you want. Just have the mind set that you are going to go learn how to interact with people.

Then do it. No excuses, no I want to read more. Just go do it. Don't be a dick, and maybe, if you are really bad at social interaction, you should stay away from c*cky andfunny. Just be polite and say hello. This is not a great strategy for building attraction, but is the starting point to gaining enough confidence to approach a female. When youcan approach them, then you start working on learning how to attract them, and not just interact with them.

Clifford: You wrote "And that's what I do, just talk and tease them, learn about them. If you listen they will tell you exactly how to win them." Can you elaborate on that because there are two pieces here that I believe are critical to helping guys obtain success: one of them is the "teasing" and the other is the "listening." In terms of the teasing, I believe that playing hard to get and teasing are absolutely essential elements of attraction. I remember your story on the DYD interview about how you reversed theroles with the Hooters girl who took you out to a comedy show, and I noted your comments here about "you can't have it." But I would like you to go into as much more detail about 'taking it away' and taking on the woman's frame as you can. I think there's a very difficult mental contortion that most guys have a lot of trouble with because on the one hand they are expected to approach and consequently show the first interest, yet then the way to do it is to pull it away and change the direction of the
interaction.

How did you get good at this? As for listening, what specifically are you listening for because typically women are very subtle in this area and many guys play it cautious with them and don't pick up those clues.

Brian: As far as playing hard to get. Yes, I believe DYD's system where Dave wrote to ask questions suspiciously, and to lean back and not be too eager. I noticed this really helped ease the interaction with the female, so I leaned back even more. I did play hard to get at first. I would want to call a hot girl I met, or kiss her as soon as I thought I could. LOL Even though I was ACTING laid back, I was still wound tight on the inside. Now though, I really am hard to get. I am really bad at calling girls back, I forget birthdays (one of the girls I have been dating for a couple of years Bday was last Monday, 7 days after mine, I forgot. LOL), I don't try to kiss women early anymore,etc. The few times I go out and some girl latches on to me, I will not go home with her and sleep with her. I may next time, but not the first time. This is exactly opposite of most guys, and the girls take notice of it big time. Also, I tease them about being too aggressive and messing up their chances with me, etc. People want w
hat they can't have, and if a woman thinks she can have you when she first meets you she is less likely to want you.

And that leads perfectly into teasing. I am not a clown, I don't cut up all the time. But I do tease, at irregular intervals. As you do the things that increase attraction with thegirl (the whole scope of the interaction) you can visibly watch her get more nervous/excited. And I just tease them more about how obvious it is they like me, and how cute itis, etc. And I do this in the middle of other conversation, so there is no good lead into the comment. I just watch, and when I see her attraction rise I say it. Even if she istalking about something completely unrelated.

And that really is the HOT woman's frame. When you meet that hot woman that all guys drool over she is usually very flirty, she knows all men want her, and she will teasethem about wanting her. She will act flaky from time to time, and rarely will she chase you or call you. That is, she will do these things if you are the average guy. But, ifwhen you first meet her you take her frame, & do it more than her, she literally will start chasing you. My first aspect of stealing her frame is from her body language. Nomatter what the topic, I will wait to see her body language, and then exaggerate it. For example, within the first minute of talking to a woman, I will notice how far back she isleaning when she is sitting, then I simply lean back more than her. What I have noticed is she will start to lean towards me the more I lean back. My natural tendency is tolean in, so I have to concentrate at the beginning on not doing that. I have read this is mirroring her. But whatever, I take her body language and go larger
with it (and alwaysaway, never in). Also, when I tease, my voice and body language are usually opposite of my words.

Another aspect with taking a girls frame is this whole "buy me a ring" crap. I really thought about this, and given my past, and how much money I have spent trying toimpress them, I noticed our culture is just geared to a man giving women stuff. Even the biggest femmanazi out there expects her man to give her an engagement ring. WellF*CK that. When girls have talked about having a relationship with me, or why I won't settle down with them I always switch roles and ask what kinda ring they are going to buy me and I always tell them I want "two carrots." This throws them. They will always back up and tell me I am supposed to buy them a ring. My response is usually, "but Iam not the one asking to settle down." Then they tell me it is the man's role to buy his woman a ring as a token of his affection.... to which I ask if she wants a businessrelationship or love relationship, cause me having to buy a her a ring, so that she gets the benefit of having just me, while I am limited to just have her, sounds a lot like
abusiness relationship. Sometimes, after joking about this a few times, I have had girls show up with those cheap fake rings you can buy for 8 bucks. We have a good laughabout it. This also works if the topic comes up at all when you meet them. Like when they ask if you are married, you ask, "Why, are you thinking about buying me a ring?"Also, I simply believe, if the girl has talked to me for 60 seconds, then she likes me and is attracted. So I take the hot woman's frame even more. Teasing her about likingme, flirting, touch her arm, then tell her I will charge her for any more. Or, by just being aloof if I am not in the mood to flirt. A little arrogance mixed with good conversation,and a little lack of attention on your part will send the message she will have to work for you.

And this brings us to listening, which wraps her frame, and teasing together. You see, no matter how cute your line is, it will never be a good as if you observe her, and listento her, then custom fit that to her. For example, you wouldn't want to use the line "Nice shoes, what are you 4'2"? " on a girl who was wearing very thin soles, like sandals.

But if the girl is tall, and wearing like 3 inch trendy boots, this is a perfect line. So when you start interacting and talking, listen to her answers and watch how she tells youthings.

Another example, if the girl tells you how she really hated the way her last boyfriend spent more time with his guy friends than with her, and she says it in a kinda wispy,almost remembering, way, then it is likely this girl loves the challenge, and wants a guy she barely believes she can hold onto. If she made the same comment, but said itwith more anger or pain, then I would be willing to bet she desires more of the security of being with a protective man, and that she will respond to a little politeness better.

Either way, I first empathize with them of how I know how that feels, and then, tease them about how they will hate me, that I sound just like their ex and I spend more timewith my friends, etc.

Also, if you ask your questions right, she will give you more specific ways to win her. For example, I was at a coffee date with a hot little 21 year old waitress. We wereplaying back gammon and just hanging out. In the middle of the game, out of context, I asked her something to the effect of "You seem normal, why don't you have aboyfriend. Did you just get out of prison?" She kinda laughs, and tells me straight out that most men bore her, and she is looking for a challenge. Well, I listened, and notonly heard the words, but applied them. I knew she had my number, so I never did call her to ask her out, or say thanks or even talk. About a week later she called me, wechatted and I got off the phone fast. Basically I made myself a HUGE challenge. And we ended up dating till she went back to school. Even while we were dating and now, Idon't pursue her even a little.

Now Cliff, all this is bonded by one aspect of your personality. Your belief in you. Some call it confidence, and it is, but it is also a little more. You wrote "As for listening,what specifically are you listening for because typically women are very subtle in this area and many guys play it cautious with them and don't pick up those clues", andyou are right. Women are subtle. I am sure I miss lots of their subtle signals, but the real problem is men are cautious. David D. wrote in his book that he gives youpermission to burn any interaction with a woman. In case some readers haven't read his book I give you permission to burn any interaction with a woman.

So, stop being cautious. Sometimes I say things that are just too arrogant. Rather than apologize, or say I was only kidding, I just believe in myself, and I know, no matterhow it came across, I meant it as teasing, so I will look her in the eye and nod slowly and say "yeah, I said it." Now, I say those words exactly like I was saying, "cummon,don't you enjoy humor?" Most of the time the girls will punch you in the arm, or blush, and you can watch the attraction go up. Mainly because I stood firm in myself withoutgetting self conscious or nervous or back peddling.

Women love men with balls (no pun intended). So when you tease, have balls. When you approach, have balls. When you talk to other people, have balls. When you listen,have balls. You don't have to agree with her, or everything she says. And in doing this I have learned that you can get a women emotionally charged with a verbal conflict,and still win them.

I learned this from one very hot woman I dated. I tried engaging her on several occasions, at different times. Each time she would kinda respond, but immediately go back totalking with friends and ignoring me. After one such time, I told her something to the effect that no matter how good she looked, acting like a spoiled stuck up brat wouldalways keep her single. Holy shit, she tore into me. I was a dick, an ass, how dare I, etc... I kept my cool, and just started smiling and leaning back and slightly nodding.

After a few minutes she finally clued in on my body language and asked why I was smiling. I told her I knew she would probably be fun if I could just get past her bitchshield. She laughed at this, we ended up talking and dating for 3 or 4 months.

As for getting good, I did it the same way I became confident. I screwed up a lot, and kept doing it. I noticed after I started getting numbers, I had a large amount of girlscalling and canceling the meeting before we got together. So, just to see what would happen, I started calling the girl before we were to meet and canceling the date. I wouldjust say something came up, and I was sorry I wouldn't be able to make it. I noticed women I broke dates with start calling me. And if I set something up the next time, theyrarely broke the date. Also, when I had no shows (they stood me up), I would call them the next day, and expect the voice mail. I would leave a message to the effect of howsorry I was I didn't show up, and I didn't have their number or I would have called, and since I stood them up, I wouldn't blame them if they never talked to me again, but I justfelt I should call and at least say sorry. LOL Lot's of girls would call me back, and just say it was no big deal, and if we set a second get together up
, they usually showed. Itwas weird. Now though, it's been a long time since a girl broke plans with me.

Clifford: I would like to know how you manage your women. Describe to me a typical week/month in terms of how often you speak to them (who calls who), what you say tothem, how often do you see them, what you do when you are together (you described on the DYD interview about a girl going on a date, coming home and then spending thenight with you - how exactly do you have these women set up and what did you say to them to set them up this way?), etc. Do you treat them all the same basic way or arethere important differences from one to the other? Do they ever meet each other, either just socially or for threesomes (or moresomes)? It seems clear that they know youare dating & sleeping with other women - what are you doing that is keeping them around (you mentioned one woman that you've been seeing for a couple of years below)and how do you deal with their resistances to you being with other women (eg. concerns about STDs, for example)? And the other thing is that you seem, like many guyswho have reached your lev
el of success with women, to be emotionally immune to them. I don't get the sense that you could fall for a woman anymore now that you havethem figured out.

Brian: Thanks for the compliment. And manage my women, you are killing me. I don't really manage. My system is kinda easy. I start from the "I am not looking for agirlfriend" frame. I really do not want one. So when I first meet them, and we talk, they ask what I am looking for in a girl, I always, without fail have a c*cky & funnycomeback about rich, bisexual, and not just one. Now, no matter how clear I am about not wanting a relationship, every woman, without exception, thinks they are going tochange me and settle me down. So the first few weeks, they really expect me to chase them and be with just them. They soon learn that isn't going to happen. So themajority of women I have been with last 2-3 weeks. Now we have 2 categories, those girls that enjoy me so much they continue to be with me while they either wait for me tochange and settle down, or they look for something better. Most of the girls I have dated any length of time fall into this category, and most have had boyfriends while theywere with me. S
ome new guy that wines them and dines them, and bores the hell out of them so that they always come back to my bed. The other group just drift away,and end up calling a month later for another hook up. And since I make no promises, I have no worries. Just last week the 18 year old, 5'11 120 pound hottie showed upwhile the 25 year old, 5'2 89 pound hottie was here. I have dated the 5'2 hottie for a year or so, and known the 18 year old for 6 months. She just turned 18 a month or soago and we started dating. Now, when 18 showed up, I just invited her in, offered her some coffee, then left the room to get the coffee. The two girls talked, I came back, weall talked for about an hour, 25 had to leave, so 18 and I spent more time alone. Neither girl asked about the other, and I offered no excuses or explanations. So, for the mostpart, it is the girl calling me, and us deciding to get together.

As far as a typical week. Well, let's take last week. Friday night I played golf with my buddies, illegally on a course till about 2 am. We used those go-nowhere glow in thedark golf balls. Saturday afternoon the 18 year old stopped by on her way to work. I met her at Taco Bell around 6 to eat dinner with her. Then I went to hot 31 year oldshouse. She cooked me dinner, and I ended up spending the night. Met a new 22 year old for coffee on Sunday. Sunday evening was with a new 19 year old that came overand helped cook dinner with me. Monday day the 18 year old stopped by. Monday night I had my kid. Tuesday day I had 25 year old over when 18 year old stopped by. I hadmy kid Tuesday night, but I allowed 27 year old over with her kids (only a very few girls are allowed around my son). Wednesday I played golf with the guys and had 20 yearold meet me at my house after. Thursday was with Jr. Friday, early evening I met a group of waitresses from one of the taverns out for drinks before they went to work, then Iwent
fishing with the guys and my son.

As for how often we speak. I have no idea. The 18 year old has a huge crush on me. I talk to her almost everyday, but I never call her, and I only answer every third call or so(she is also the sweetest of the group - very innocent and she likes to clean my house). The rest of the girls will call me between 1 and 10 times a week. Like the 27 yearold, she only calls once a week and if I miss her call I call back. The 31 year old is hot but very emotional, she calls 7-10 times a week, and I talk to her about every otherweek. The 20 year old is new, and only called a few times. The 25 year old calls 3-4 times a week and I talk to her once or twice. Trying to think of all is this is funny to me.

Honestly, I am real bad at taking calls, or calling back, but when I do talk to them, I tend to tease and have a great time with them.As for setting it up this way, it wasn't planned. I just started getting lots of female attention, which made me less eager to call or talk to anyone, which got me even morefemale attention. And if a girl gets mad or doesn't like it, oh well.

And I never act like I plan on sex. Usually I act like we are just hanging out, and let the woman seduce me. So they usually have to 'persuade' me to stay the night or letthem stay. It seems like the more I try not to sleep with them, the more they try to sleep with me. Oh, and I do turn women down. I won't always stay the night, or let themstay, and I keep it unpredictable.

Now, I have never had any kind of STD, and this is very important to me, so I always use a condom. And I keep a box in my car, gym bag and dresser. As a matter of fact, Ihave dated several women from the local Walgreens just from buying condoms. I will go in and buy 2 or 3 boxes of the Magnum economy packs (that's like 64-96 condoms).Without fail, the woman checking me out will blush and try to make some joke about it.... I will just tell them practice makes perfect. Do the usual tease and flirt and then Ilet them take my number. The 25 and 18 year olds both worked at Walgreens, although, not at the same time.When a girl first sleeps with you, she is likely NOT thinking about STD's. Most seem happy when I bring out a condom, and I don't ask what they want. It is a condom orthey can blow me. After some time, they may bring it up. But usually, it's after we have had sex. Now, I think the real issue is not about disease, I believe it is aboutcontrol, and you being with just them. Usually I just avoid the issue,
or ask if they are telling me they have a disease. If they continue to pursue the matter, I just point outthis is the way I am. If you don't feel comfortable with me, then you should stop sleeping with me. They may get pissed, but I have never had one stop sleeping with me forthis reason. Like I said, most girls don't make it past a month, so I really don't care, and for every one that stops seeing me, I meet 20.I do role reverse on them here too. I will ask if they have anything, or if they are sexually safe. If it looks or feels like they may have an issue with my rep, I just grill them alittle about it. I have also noticed, by NOT having sex with them as soon as I could, I not only look like more of a challenge, they worry LESS about me sleeping withsomeone else. I am much harder to get, so less likely to be sleeping with lot's of women. LOL That's woman logic, and we know better, but perception can be a dangerousthing.

As for threesomes, when I first started getting good at this, I was able to set up a few with college girls (even had 3 18-19 year olds at once). I had a great time with it, and afew of the more open 'hippie' chicks shared me with friends. To be honest though, I prefer one on one. The 27 year old is bi, and she does invite me to join in when she getsa new gf. She and I have been together for over 2 years, and we have even gone out and picked up girls together.

Now, why do the girls stay, or keep coming back? Well, obviously, most don't. They are around for a few weeks, then they are on to the new guy that shows them moreattention. Lots of these girls do tend to keep popping up though, calling and wanting to get together every couple of months. But the ones that do stay have fun. I have agreat time, I love teasing them, when I do go out, I enjoy meeting and talking to lots of people, and I easily build rapport with people, and most of the women enjoy this.Almost all of the girls tell me they have never felt this close to a guy, and they can tell me anything. I don't judge them, or try to change them, and I think this is key.From talking with the girls that have been around me for any length of time, I have heard that most guys are always trying to fix their problems, or they feel like the guy istrying to change them. You know, on a subtle level. I used to invite girls to workout with me when they showed interest in my training (I thought I was being nice), but Ireal
ized most of the girls take this as me saying they need to get in shape, or they aren't good enough. Teasing them about that is fantastic, but actually trying to changethem is bad, bad, bad. So I don't ever offer a solution or advice unless specifically asked, and then I give it to them honestly, even if it pisses them off and I know that isn'twhat they want to hear. I also don't care if they date. As a matter of fact, I encourage them to go out with other guys. I believe the more time they spend with the kiss assguys who try to impress and buy them (the old me), the more they like being with me. I never, ever get upset about them dating or sleeping with someone else, and I cantalk about this without judging. If they ask about other girls I sleep with (like for details) I will tell them I have never, I am a virgin (I have said this while I was 'in' a girl).The other aspect is I never talk about boring crap. No work, or school or anything. If they start I will tell them to stay away from boring topics, and the
y only have me for alittle while, impress me. And I tease them unmercifully, at the oddest times. The exception to this is I am a good friend. I don't lend them money ever, but if they have a flat, Iwill pick them up if I can, or if they need something moved I will help out.

"Emotionally immune" This is a good phrase. Yeah, back long ago, I would get jealous easily. Even hearing about a girl's ex bf would make me jealous. I would like a girl andgo way overboard calling and buying gifts and stuff. This was all my insecurity, and I leaned on the girls. Like I was looking for her to fulfill me. Anyway, those days are gone.I started very bitter after the ex, and was emotionally detached. Now, I am not bitter. But I am a lot more stable in myself. I don't need a girl to make me happy. I don't needsomeone around. Every where I go there are hundreds of women, and now I know how to meet and interact with them. I have no fear of them. Can girls still hurt my feelings?Of course. But no more than one of my guy friends can. I am sure you understand what I mean. I have gotten to a place where I am comfortable just being me. I don't needto impress, or buy, or take a girl out. I am not needy at all, and with this is a super level of confidence and balance. Since I know I have the skills, I just
don't worry aboutoutcomes anymore. Now, I also don't put myself in a position to be used in a way I would not like. I trust everyone, I tempt no one.

In rereading your question, you asked what I do with them. Well, new girls is obviously us cooking dinner, but you can only do that so many times with a girl. It's not somuch what we do, as how I am around them. I would like to relate a very typical evening, that has happened so many times or ways, it is almost scripted (the attitude andresults, not the details). I will take the last girl this happened with. We talked, she got my number, she called. I was busy, and never called her back, she calls again a weeklater. I invite her over for dinner, she asks if I would rather go to a sports bar with her. I have plans for the first day she asked, so I decline (this is another Hooters girl). Shecalls a few days later and invites me out. I keep teasing her about being my bratty little sister, and how, if I go out with her, it's just to hang out and have a good time andbecome better friends. She arrives at my house. She walks in, I grab my stuff, we leave. I drive us to the bar. We arrive, and she asks me to buy her
a beer. I tell her to buyher own beer, that I never buy 'children' alcohol (she is 22 or so, 5'4, maybe 100 lb. with nice perky breasts and long brown hair). She buys her own beer (and isn't happyabout it). She sees some guys she knows and goes running off (this has happened so many times, I believe this is a standard dating rule girls follow to test the guy). I donot follow or even get upset. I just start meeting people around me. When she comes back I am sitting with 3 other girls having a fun conversation. When she arrives Iintroduce her, talk for a few more moments, then join her at the bar. She asks if I want a beer, and I say sure. She goes up to a group of guys and flirts, and brings us back2 beers. I just laugh and tease her about how happy I am my new friend can charm beer out of guys. I also tease her she needs to go charm me up a new Ferrari. She seesmore guys she knows, and runs off. I meet more girls and a few guys. When she comes back, I always introduce her. I never met any of her friends, nor
did I ask too or try.

After a few hours of this, girls are asking me about her, and asking for my number. 3 guys come up to tell her how hot she is and how beautiful, etc. She looks at me, and Ishrug and say "I think your tits are too big." She laughs, and the guys have no ideal how to take it. They end up buying both of us shots and beer. One guy keeps asking forher number (trying to hide it from me LOL). I finally tell her to give the poor guy her number, as the shots he bought were excellent. She gives him a number, but I don't thinkit was hers. We leave. In the car she complains her neck is sore. I start rubbing it. Before we get home her panties are off, and I just carry her straight to the bedroom.Now, minus specific details, this scenario has played out so many times I swear it's like déjà vu when I go out, or meet out, a hot young girl. But every single time I act thisway I get free drinks, and I sleep with the girl. Every time. It kills me.

Clifford: On the DYD interview, you mention about approaching women using "Are you single?" as an opener. From there, you commented how you are not lookingto get into a conversation, a comment which I didn't find that David followed up enough on. You also mentioned going out and getting 5-25 phone numbers in one night, and,if I understood it correctly, either getting a number or leaving with the girl within about 15 minutes. You made this sound like buying a can of tomatoes at the grocery store -you go in, find what you want, take it and leave. Now maybe it is that simple for you, and from what you've written in this interview it seems like your methods may haveevolved, but I would like you to go into some specific detail of what you do on a cold approach that is so efficient and which doesn't involve a conversation.

Brian: Yes, my game has evolved since I was interviewed by Dave in December. That was almost a year ago, and while my attitude is the same, my strategy has changed alittle. I can't remember the last time I got a girl's number. I was trying to think, and it's been months. I just give mine out now. Call, or don't call, that's ok. Now, this doesn'twork if you ask for her number and she says 'Why don't you give me yours?' Here she has the power, and complying in the kiss of death for you. But, if you just tell her youdon't call girls, here take my number, you keep the power, even if she doesn't take it right then.

If I see a girl that interest me, I still open with are you single? and follow with are you rich, and then back that up with are you bisexual? When I was getting numbers, I reallywasn't trying to get into a conversation. I used my openers, then I just said I was busy and I had to go, but write your number down. I didn't try to keep the girl interested rightthen (usually).

Last night, me and Jr. were shopping and a hot brunette caught my eye. She was maybe 25, 5'4, 110 lb. with an ass that screamed 'fuck me.' As soon as I saw her I started walkingher way, and she saw me and started smiling. The first thing that popped in my head though was 'I have my son with me' and then I thought of not approaching, so I walked up, andjust chatted. We talked a bit, and she ended up taking my number. She did ask what I thought about my son watching me meet a woman to which I asked my son 'What do we do withhotties?" and he yells, "Tease them and runaway." It just shocked the hell out of her... LOL

The exceptions were when I was in a really powerful or horny mood. I am out, meet a girl, use the openers, and within 5 minutes just say, "I am going here, cummon." andleave with her. Almost all of this working is how fast you can build trust, rapport, and increase her attraction. It is the whole sum of your personality and communicationacting in harmony. It's only been the last year and a half or so that I have been able to do this.

As for getting 5-25 numbers 'like buying a can of tomatos', well, it kinda is. I know, if you would have told me I could do this 4 years ago, I would have been like 'sure youcan.' But honestly, it is a cake walk, once you believe in yourself. If I ask a girl for a number, I not only expect her to give it, I expect her to be happy about it, and be waitingfor the moment I choose to call. The simple question is, can you walk up and get a girl's number? In my timed bet I walked up the girl who was sitting with her mom andfriends and said 'Are you single?' She kinda smiled and blushed. I continued 'I am with friends right now, and I can see this is not a great time for either of us to talk. You dohave a look I find interesting, and I would like to talk to you sometime and get to know you. Do you have a pen? All the girls dug and found one, and I just said here, writeyour number down. She did, then I teased her about not getting my name (hers was on the paper). Now, if you can do that, you can easily do that 5 time
s in an hour. and ifyou can do that 5 times, you can do it 25 times. No big deal.

Now, even in my interview I mentioned I don't bat 1000. Girls say no. I have walked away from lots of girls cause they wouldn't take my number, and I didn't take theirs. Thenext time I see them, they are usually very interested in me. But it doesn't always go my way every single time. The difference between now and 4 years ago is it goes myway more than it does the typical guy, and that is from my learning. I have lots of girls who want me and sleep with me. I have so many female friends now, I just don't havetime to talk to every single one of them every day, or even every week. I do not come from a place of needing a date, so even when I walk away, I walk away from a place ofpower.

And we all talk about a girl wanting a challenge, and a powerful man. So who looks stronger, the guy that gets her number, or the guy who turns her down telling her that hedoesn't call girls (which, by the way, is another role reversal). When she sees I am not kidding, that I really will leave without her number and not be the least bit worriedabout it, it turns her on. I have had girls chase me out the door saying 'ok, give me your number' or the next time I see them, we talk and tease about that. Them telling mewhat I am missing, and me just laughing and telling them it doesn't matter they have already screwed up their chances with me. Usually, when I see these girls again, I canfeel the sexual tension go up. I am likely the first man who ever walked away from their number. The second time around they usually take it. But even if they don't and theyare all pissed off at me cause I hurt their poor little self esteem by not taking their number or doing what they want. What I really did was save myself a whole
bunch of theirdrama.

A big part of the puzzle is what I expect. I mean, I do all of the things to increase her attraction, but I also fully expect her to do what I want. If I want her number, I expecther to give it. If I want her to take mine, I expect her to take mine. If I want her to leave with me, I expect her to leave with me. That really is a big difference over most guys,and I am sure my voice tone and body language relate this to her. Most guys ask for a number 'hoping' she will give it, surprised if she does. I am shocked if she doesn't.Here is another example. I ask my male friend to do something for me and I am not sure if he will. If I ask an employee to do something for me then I expect it done just asfast as humanely possible. In both situations I ask, but in the situation with the employee it is nonverbally understood, that while I am 'being nice' asking, I expect what Iwant to be done. Same with women. If they are single and I can make them smile with my first couple of comments the I really expect her to want my
number and to get toknow me. It would be in her best interest.

Clifford: Please expand on what you wrote about what you expect. The question (which I realize I dwell on) that is most critical in all these interviews is about"getting it." If you look back on how you were a few years ago, what do you think would be the best way for someone to go from where you were to where you are now?What other insights could you think of to help guys to finally have that big realization that leads them to massive success? Obtaining the kind of confidence that comesacross in what you wrote is the holy grail of seduction world - I know there are guys having some success that don't come close to having the attitude you have.

Brian: LOL Yeah, this question touches on everything. I talk about 'getting it' as do lot's of other guys. It is not really one word or attitude, but a whole personality andlifestyle, and probably differs from time to time. But the real key is, I know how to amplify a woman's attraction, and I know how to create and keep sexual tension. This is it.I can make a girl FEEL these things. I do this with my attitude, which compliments my body language, and voice, and words. It is everything, all the details from meetingher, to sleeping to her, to marrying her to burying her (with this ring, I am dead.... my favorite line).

I am starting to sound like The Tao. You must become one with yourself grasshopperson. I kill me.

Really though, how does a guy get here. Well, for starters, do you really want here? Let's talk about that. When I first set out to get good with women, I really just wanted tolearn how to meet and date a few women without the benefit of toys and money, and to know how to deal with my ex to show her what she messed up. As I progressed, Istarted having women try to get me to be with just them. And, at that point I didn't want that. So I decided, I would learn how to sleep with multiple women, and not be hungup on one. There is some good side and down side to this.

But for starters a man must decide what he wants. Does he want to become the type of man that can attract and keep an exceptional woman? Is he looking for a wife orgirlfriend? Does he want the reputation of being a player? Does he just want to sleep with as many women as possible, or only the hottest women around?I think most guys will say the hottest women, or most. I think they say this cause they don't have the balls to admit they really want just one exceptional one. I see this withlots of guys writing questions about "How much of a player they have become, but there is one they really want, how do I get her?" See, if you are really good at gettingthem, and you are a player, you couldn't care less about 'one.'

So a man must decide what he wants. Then he must learn the 'mind' knowledge. That's all the books, the CD's, dvd's, ebooks, interviews and newsletters. Then he mustapply, and learn how his own personality must be grown to utilize his knowledge. You must go do. And you start wherever you start. Some guys are so shy, they mustlearn how to even walk up to a girl and say 'hi.' Some guys are just going to have to learn how to amplify attraction after they meet the girls. Some guys have it all down, tillthey actually get in the relationship, and they are going to have to learn to keep attraction and sexual chemistry alive. But all this happens with knowledge that is applied.

So just go do. Face rejection a few hundred times. Become very calm and comfortable in control of yourself at all times. As you start seeing success, just re-decide whatyou want, and modify your life to fit your goals.

There is no pill, or magic word, or pick up line, or secret body language pose, or certain look with eye contact (although there is some merit to the 'Zoolander' look - LOL), oranything else. It is everything about you.

When you go out, meet a hot girl at a bar, do you ever buy her a drink? If you are looking to go to the next level, you need to start telling her to buy you one. Now, till youreally get the attitude down, it is not likely to happen. Be prepared to get lots of no's. But then it starts happening. The other suggestion is to stop getting numbers, andmake them take yours. Same kinda deal, you will get lots of no's till you get it down, then, presto, tons of chicks calling. Just some ideas, and if you are comfortable withbeing told no for a while, it is one of the next steps.

I just can't give a better explanation. But here is how to judge for yourself. If you see a girl that sparks even a moment of interest, do you approach her? It has been well overa year, and I can't remember the last girl that I felt attraction for that I didn't approach. I can remember one girl from 9 years ago that I locked eyes with, who took my breatheaway. I can still remember her smile, and her walking away. And I still remember what a jack ass I was, and how many months I beat myself up for not having the balls tojust go say hi. Win or lose. I was scared. Scared others might see, that she would say no, that a huge bf would kick my butt, that a meteor would crash into me as Ispoke.... LOL But I don't ever have that problem anymore.

So if you are out, and you ever feel this, you know you are just going to have to make yourself GO DO SOMETHING. Win or lose. And with enough losses and practice, youdon't ever have to feel this again. You can walk away every time feeling great cause you approached and got her number, and you know, if you want her, she is yours.

Clifford: You made a remark in the beginning that you are bored now. Is this a case of be careful of what you wish for because you might actually get it?

Brian: Yep, I am bored now. It's not that I don't still hear 'no', or that I walk into a bar and every woman is just throwing themselves at me. Not at all, I still have to start mostof my interactions with females, and I still have to read the signals and push the old attraction up. Based from just my looks, with the age group I date, I would say, when Ifirst start talking with them, they do not see me as a potential mate, lover, bf or anything else. So I start below their base line for attraction. However, I know that they will beattracted to me, and all I have to do is be the man I have grown to be. And this is true.

But yeah, I am bored. I am starting to see things like the average hot woman, I think. I just know if I talk to the girl, meet her for coffee, invite her to dinner, she will sleep withme. What I really enjoy is the girl that understands attraction too, and knows how to flirt and create sexual tension back. And, if you are the dominant one, they just don't dothis a whole lot.

As bad as it sounds, I would prefer a challenge. I would prefer a girl not let herself sleep with me on the first date. It's hard to explain, but just having a hot girl is not all thatexciting. As a matter of fact, they usually have lots of drama in their life. You just wouldn't believe all of the crap these women create for themselves. David D. really hit the nail on the head when he wrote/said that finding a really exceptional woman is hard to do. Once you have the attracting and sexual tension parts ofyour life with females handled, and you keep your power for yourself, you find that women start acting like the wuss guys we read about. They call all the time, send gifts, etc... and there is no excitement there after the 100th time.Does this make sense to you Cliff?

Clifford: Yes, it makes sense. Of course, you realize that you will not garner a lot of sympathy from my readers!In fact, I'm having a hard time feeling bad for you myself! But I have to thank you for taking the time to answer my questions and to share your knowledge and experience with the guys reading this.