Is he your only lover?

Hard to believe that it came and went. Major Mark's seminar with special guest trainer Steve Piccus was a real trip. Perhaps someone will submit a review of the weekend which was spent in and out of trance and finished off with Steve Piccus leading a group mind message (I thought that if someone were to call the cops who came in while this was going on, we'd have some 'splainin' to do; this looks like a wild Satanic ritual but has a really wild effect). At least two of the attendees were so impressed with Montreal that they insisted they were moving up here (all the attendees from out of town were very enamored with the city and the multitudes of beautiful women everywhere you went). I had managed to get invitations for everyone for the private V.I.P. party of the opening of Jillian's Montreal which was a really great evening (Jillian's is a 71,000 square foot entertainment complex that features a bar, restaurant, night club, pool tables, video games, etc. and the most incredible part of it all is that it is
in the redeveloped old Montreal Forum where the Montreal Canadiens hockey team used to be and this is literally one block from where I live!). The place was packed and we all indulged in the open bar, free food and games for the evening. Wild man Poetdude stayed at my place during the seminar and and was out until 3-4 a.m. getting stupid and then showing up around 9 a.m. for the seminar each morning. The one inevitable conclusion -- we need more seminars to be thrown here (are you listening, Ross?)! For more info on Mark's seminars, visit www.trucor.com .

My Comment: The Master returns! Rick (infamous for his 5 women at once closing that first appeared here and is now prominently displayed on Ross's website at www.speed-seduction.com/test14.htm ) has got some great stuff for you below.

Rick: Hello all! I am back after a long absence from posting. It seems that many people are still living in the shadow world of fake problems. What I mean by that, is that there seems to be an effort to address objections directly, on the "Logical level" and/or within the "frame" they present those objections to you.

Why would you want to do a thing like that?

I don't want to teach a mini-course in NLP but in case someone doesn't know, the Logical Levels pyramid goes top to bottom: Spirituality, Identity, Belief, Capability, Behavior, and Environment. The higher up the pyramid something is placed, the more value it is given, the lower down the pyramid it is placed, the less value is attached. Fortunately, these distinctions are more arbitrary than most people believe. Lets say, for example, I have been chatting up a stripper in the club, and I have her interested but she says something preconditioned, like... "I don't date people I meet in here." In addition to any number of other slight of mouth reframes, I could use logical levels... her statement to me is coming from a fairly high logical level .... either identity or belief... she is saying, she is either above dating the "scum" that go there or she has a belief that it is, for any number of reasons, a bad idea. So the first thing, is to recategorize her statement, as just a behavior, or an environmental situat
ion (low importance on the logical levels) and then give her a motivation to hook up with me, on a high logical level, (identity or spirituality). I could respond "Good policy, look at those people in here, if you were to date them, you could wind up eating macaroni and cheese and living in a doublewide the rest of your life (laugh) ... I should hope you wouldn't date them... I mean....ewwww! But you also strike me as an intelligent woman, intelligent enough to know the difference between that..... and this.... spiritually aware enough to recognize that everything happens for a reason... and experienced enough to know that extraordinary things don't happen in ordinary ways and you need the flexibility to, shift past your ordinary rules and roles, in all the ways you already know how, for all the right reasons, grab the prize, and win big." (I am also doing other things here to facilitate the shift in logical levels...validation, humor, differentiation, challenge, etc.) > Robert (Comments from private email):
> It pisses me off that my age is such a factor now. Many women won't look > beyond the number.

Yeah, I am 35 and I get this slow pitched softball on occasion (pointing to the left field bleachers...LOL). I love this one. It's one of my favorite topics because you can do so much to powerfully set the frame in such a short amount of time. These reframes work on the principal of "another outcome" i.e.: it's not what they thought it was.

I often ask their age first...

Lets say, she says "18"

I'll say something like... "Oh my God, that's like 36 in girl years, you're older than me... what's up with that? Another couple years, I'll be checking you into the home." (All done with the busting their balls kind of smirk).

Then if they defend their youth..."I'm young and sexy...bla bla bla"

I might respond..."Well, to be fair, you still have a couple of years left...but not too long. I mean just look at the models... these are the hottest girls going and they start at like 13 or 14, by 18 they are veterans in the industry, and by 22 or 23 they are already losing work to the younger and cuter girls. And by 25... forget it.... they are a dinosaur, I mean it's..... all ....over.

When they ask me my age, I tell them. If they say "you're old", or "I'm not old, you are".... bla bla bla...

I say.... "Well, if I was a woman, you would be right, I would be ancient." I'd be getting you to wheel me around between my hot flashes" (all done in a busting their balls kind of playfulness.) "But age doesn't matter for guys. It doesn't. We're not judged by that criteria. I've been dating the same aged girls for 15 years. Every year I get older and they stay the same age, it's amazing how that works (laugh). Is it fair? No, but I don't make the rules, I am just very aware of what they are."

Incidentally, overlooking a couple of comedic exaggerations, this is all true.... and they know it. Women are much more age self conscious, even at a very young age, than you ever will be. They are bombarded every day by pictures, media, and magazines, etc. Literally, you see teenage girls starting with the creams and the masks, and facials and all the youth preserving stuff. Why? Because they are absolutely paranoid about getting or looking old. >>My Comments Continue: The best other BF destroyer I think is to just >>ignore her comment and keep going. >Cliff, I agree with that advice. It seems that he is making a Big Deal of >the borefriend.

Yep, ignoring the comment, when they throw it out and keeping going does work.

A couple other things I like to say to "I have a boyfriend": "Is he your only lover? It's time you took another, I think it most unhealthy, this exclusivity."

"That's convenient, it gives you something to do when you are not with me. I don't want you turning into a stalker or some kind of freak. You aren't one are you?"

Brother Marcus: > Stephanie (from private email): > I found your comment, "Your comment about feeling safe and comfortable > with him is very interesting -- I think this is what most of women want but > with the excitement still there. The problem is that once they feel a guy is > safe, he usually ceases to be exciting any more"

What you need to do here is....build rapport, discover what she really wants, demonstrate by, the very nature of who you are, you have the ultimate ability to give it to her, then don't. Furthermore, never give direct answers unless the answer is no. When she wants you to do something, don't do it, or if you do, you have to change it in some way, even a small one, so she doesn't get exactly what she wanted. Then every once in a while, unpredictably, make some small really sweet, gesture. This will provide her plenty of intrigue, drama, and discussion topics for her girlfriends.

Mr. Happy: > It pisses me off that my age is such a factor now. Many women > won't look beyond the number.

It doesn't have to piss you off. Think about why it pisses you off and then think about how you would elegantly address it with a new frame.

What is it about age that is important to people? What is she REALLY asking you when she asks "how old are you?". I think she is asking "Are we likely to have things in common?"; "What will my friends think of this"; "Can I really let loose and feel totally comfortable with this guy as a peer?". Any other ideas, guys?

On the Methods and Master CDs, Riker sets a great frame on age during his talk on on-line sarging , using the old quantities vs. qualities theme. If you listen to what he is doing, you can apply it to "live" life.

Ebderm: >Hypno Bill: >... have read "What the hell do women really want." >... women want powerful men....

I ask you, have you seen the movie "Titanic"? Why did Rose choose to die for penniless Jack and dump her rich, powerful, handsome, fiancé, who bought her the world's biggest diamond? Answer: The character Jack was 1) fun, 2) exciting, and 3) he was able to connect her on a deeper level. However, in the real world, women often seem to prefer jerks, who do not supply #3 above. Somebody, please explain.

Joseph: Don Juan Pattern - in the beginning of the movie "Don Juan Demarco' the main character Don Juan is about to commit suicide, but has determined to seduce one final woman before leaving the world in honor by challenging Don Julio to a sword fight. So he walks into a fine restaurant and immediately sees his target , sitting alone at a table for two in the middle of the floor.

He walks up to her and says may I sit down, and slowly, gracefully sits down while she's answering.....

"Um..well...it's taken..uh"

"It will only take a second. I am Don Juan Demarco," says the Don. (This is not the exact transcript, during this there is some fluff talk when she's asking him if he's in a circus because the movie is set in the 20th Century and Don Juan is dressed like....Don Juan...but this isn't important for SS )

"LOL So I guess you seduce women.....," she asks sarcastically.

"No," says the Don, "I do not seduce women. I offer them a gift. Of course, this gift is the greatest passion they will ever know in their lives."

(Again this is paraphrased, but at this point the target gets so nervous she drops her fork.)

Don Juan goes on to what I call: "The Don Juan Pattern"

(mixed with some weasel phrases)

" I don't know if it's a talent...or a gift but.....there are some women, and you can tell by the sparkle in their eyes or the way the hair falls across their face (reach out and gently brush her hair/bang, then with a smooth circular motion bring it down and pick up her hand as if about to kiss it.)

"But when you touch her fingers (touch her index and birdie finger of the hand you're holding with the tips of the fingers of your other hand), it's almost like you are massaging her feet. And as you move up...... (move your fingers up the inside of those two fingers until you get to the "inner thigh" of the finger) it's exactly like you are stroking her thigh (almost whisper this and lean in to say it)...until finally........(kiss the very inside of the space between her two fingers, make it look like a graceful "My Lady" kiss but slip it the tip of the tongue)......

Now I just usually ask if they've seen the movie and say "My favorite part is when Don Juan walks into the restaurant and says "Don Juan Pattern"

Mathieu: The Art of War is a book written some 2500 years ago by a Chinese general. This guy had a major grasp on strategies and warfare. I find that many of his ''principles'' apply to women and also to any situation where you confront adversity. A lot of people on Wall Street have read it and it's a bestseller. There are two different editions. The one with the black cover and the stone statue is the best, in my opinion. There are many principles on the issue of spying which I have found very useful to use on a chick/friend to get to her. The beginning is very historical but hang on until the end as I think it's worth it. You need to use your imagination to transpose those principles to seduction but hey you're used to making up patterns out of thin air so I am sure you'll manage.

I am bidding my time with the Italian... I ran a few patterns on her where I used time distortion and got her to picture herself in the future where we would have some incredible sex again and I made a pattern linking sex with her boyfriend to me. Actually, I told her something like: "You know how it can be frustrating to have sex with your boyfriend and you really want to enjoy it but you can't because each time you keep thinking of this other very significant person and you feel like a cheat and it's worse each time and what makes it even more frustrating is that you know and you can picture it in your own mind how good it would feel to have sex with that person. Worst of all, you know deep down inside that no matter what you try to do your thoughts will come back to that person and you'll surrender to that passion that takes over you every single time you see that person.

Guess what? I think that's why she's not calling back... Last time she told me on the phone that she knew something would happen if she saw me again (yet she seems to want to badly). She's afraid because she knows she's going to surrender and she even told me. I tried to see her in some public place and she told me that we would need a lot of people around us. But she's Italian, she seems to have a good heart and her boyfriend seems to be the nicest guy and she just can't hurt him or something like that. Next time I manage to see her, I am going to create a pattern comparing her relationship with a prison or the process of drowning or choking.... Meanwhile, I left her a few messages and she didn't call me back (that's where I fuckup. I didn't know you guys back then or I would have left the famous email or message for chicks who flake).

Maxin: Regarding age related questions: Ronald Regan illustrated an excellent (and humorous) technique in a debate with Gary Hart, he said something like:

"While I agree that age is an important factor in considering someone, I refuse to make my opponents youth and inexperience an issue in this election."

You could use this with a woman who asks you your age simply by saying: "Don't worry, as long as you have more to offer, I won't hold your youth and inexperience against you," while smiling ; )

If she presses it, you can always push back more by saying "Oh, I may have made a mistake about you, you seemed very mature for YOUR age..." continuing the challenge and implying her concern about your age is showing her immaturity, but you better have good rapport.

You can also add 20 years to both of your ages and ask her if it would still matter, ask her if she was a 40 year old woman, would she be concerned about being with a 55 year old man?

I'm 8 years older than my current gf and if she wasn't very mature for her age, she would never have qualified for gf status.

Robert: I've been looking for another type of "Seduction Advice" manual. One regarding the subject of sexual performance & pleasing a woman. I've seen many of them out there, but was surprised to find one at the Handwriting site. Take a look at www.sexsecretsrevealed.com You can comment on the book there, if you wish; but more importantly, have you encountered any similar-type books recommended by the PUA 's?

Blade: Just wanted to let you know that I received Bishop's Unlimited Lover by e-mail today... He's been highly apologetic, and you know what...I think I forgive him! :-D The book was about 40 pages, and had some great tips and tricks - but nothing really groundbreaking... In short - just focus on pleasuring the woman instead of yourself.

My Comment: I understand he also sent out his "Lightning the Creative Fire" as a bonus in thanks for putting up with the delay. Glad to hear this.