The bleached hair, boob job, plastic surgery, perma-tan, pet chihuahuas and huge sunglasses

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THIS IS CLIFF'S PRIVATE LIST, A F*R*E*E* E-MAIL RELATING TO SEDUCTION
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CLIFF'S LIST UPDATES:
The "Cliff's List Project" continues.
This email will present a new format, designed to reduce dramatically the promos that have been run on here. While none of those promos are or were "paid ads" (and, in fact, many of them do not have affiliate links and are posted on Cliff's List absolutely free), I have been sensitive to comments made in the past that there were too many "ads" on here and it gave the emails too much of a commercial look. The truth of the matter is that this is probably one of the least commercial emails in the community, but I don't have time to explain all that right now. Hopefully you will like this new look, which provides you with great, cutting edge information and directs you to the Cliff's List website page with information on the latest Events, Products, Free Stuff, etc. that you should find interesting and exciting.

Much more is coming soon from Cliff's List.

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This Email's Featured Promos:

- Steve P:
David DeAngelo, Neil ("Style") Strauss, Rick H. - all legends in the PUA community. All underwent their remarkable transformations into masters of the game from the hypnosis and training delivered by none other than Steve P., the ultimate inner game specialist. Now Steve P. is making his unique training available on a very select basis to a few individuals. Steve is booked up most of the time and coordinating schedules can be challenging - especially when you need to make at least two full weeks available which will involve daily hypnosis sessions as well as in field integration work with his son Val (and this is just the first level). Be prepared though - this is something very unique which will affect your life on many levels, not just how you interact with women. It's kind of like cleaning out the tubing so that the fluid that needs to pass through is finally able to flow smoothly. I can talk about this because I recently spent two weeks with Steve undergoing this special training. This will most likely be the most expensive training you will undergo, and Steve does not accept just any applicant. You have to be a sincere, genuine person with honorable intentions - Steve is quick to dismiss those who don't approach him and his work with respect. For more information, please contact him at: thetranceworks@hotmail.com

- Scot McKay:
Scot has just launched the VIRTUOSITY series, featuring over two-dozen of the most respected names in men's attraction and seduction advice. With six full sections, the amount of sheer value in Scot's new program challenges any advanced series ever produced. Best of all, Scot's character-based approach is very evident throughout. VIRTUOSITY deserves serious consideration by any man who is through with trickery and quick-fixes and is ready to deserve the highest echelon of women on Earth. Full coverage of online dating that rivals stand-alone products elsewhere is one of the many pluses, and even 1-on-1 time with Scot is included. This is a groundbreaking release which is sure to raise the bar. Check it out at: deservewhatyouwant.com/virtuosity/special/ You can also get his flagship ebook product Deserve What You Want here: deservewhatyouwant.com/ebook/ Find out more about Scot here: www.cliffslist.com/people/scotmckay

- Gabrielle Moore has prepared an eye-opening video about the G-Spot orgasm. Gabrielle is the author of the now-famous book "The Female Orgasm Revealed". And now Gabrielle decided to take her intimate advice to the next level. You´ll be impressed (just as I was!) To watch the video now, go to: www.thegspotcode.com/afvideo.html

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Click HERE (www.cliffslist.com/whatsnew) to find out about the latest Events, Newsletters, Free Products and Downloads, Ebooks, DVDs, CDs, Podcasts, etc.

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Clifford:
My Evening with Dimitri (www.dimitrithelover.com)
I was in Toronto for a Saturday evening in January and my schedule was freed up for the night, so I made plans to meet with Dimitri The Lover, a new "dating guru" who Frank B. Kermit had recommended that I meet. Dimitri and a mutual friend Phil (who I initially met at a Speed Seduction (speedseduction.biz/) seminar in Culver City in L.A. in 1998) came to pick me up at my hotel and we spent the evening getting to know each other. Dimitri is all high energy and there were a number of basic interesting concepts that I saw him practice and explain to me. If you go to his website you will see some outrageous (some will say offensive) cartoons and statements but it's all along the lines of his basic approach. He believes that meeting women is a numbers game and he approaches a lot of women everywhere, and that includes calling out from his car as he sees one standing at a bus stop or walking down the street. While he did approach a number of groups and women in two's, his best results seem to be when he approaches women alone. He never approaches unless he gets some eye contact - he's all about efficiency in many ways. He'll get the eye contact and go up to them with any of a number of opening statements, anything from a compliment to an observation, but usually it will lead to him handing them his business card. His business card has a cartoon of him on it with some provocative remarks: "Metrosexuality is a feminist media conspiracy," "De-Evolve into the MAN you were BORN to be," "Detect Charm Seduce Enslave," "Worship the Cock" etc. which screen women out (a) if she's a feminist, he's not interested, (b) if she's not a slut, he's not interested, and (c) if she doesn't worship the cock, he's not interested. He usually never takes their phone numbers (unless they insist or circumstances are such that he would be better off taking her number) and waits for them to call or email him through his site URL which is the only contact information on the card. He claims that one in five will contact him and he has quite a collection of numbers in his cell phone (these were just the currently active ones, he explained). He's also fast - he likes to get in there and be gone in two minutes after giving his card. He says that this is much better - you don't stick around like most guys and this makes you more of a challenge. And he's made his point - if she's not enough of a hungry slut to call, he's not interested in
wasting his time. A big key for him has been the ability to not care and especially to not let rejection have any effect on him. He says he learned what he does from trial and error rather than from anyone else.
Dimitri is tall and slender and one thing he pointed out that he felt was important when approaching a woman who is seated is to squat down so that he's at eye level with her. He does stand too, especially since he doesn't like these encounters to go on for more than a couple of minutes. Probably the most notable pick up of the evening was when we stopped at the Drake Hotel and went into the lobby bar/restaurant. There were two women sitting at a table, one was a very attractive blond and the other was a brunette. Dimitri caught eye contact and went up to their table. He was talking for a few minutes when she looked over at Phil and myself and beckoned us to come over. I walked over and asked her how come she can't just eat dinner without trying to pick up my friend and we started talking. We had some good rapport going there - at one point she asks me something I don't like to answer when first meeting women and I used Payton Kane's (www.seduceandconquer.com/) great response: I look her right in the eye and I say "Information is on a need to know basis, and (while pointing my finger and bobbing it up and down in front of her nose, and finally touching her nose on the last bob) you (bob) don't (bob) need (bob) to know (bob and touch the tip of her nose)!" She has this surprised look but with a big smile and she goes "Did you just touch my nose?!" and I said "Of course" and the conversation just moved on from there. They were in the middle of eating and after what really was some time the blond goes something like 'it's been nice meeting you but we need to finish our dinner before it gets cold' and I re-frame it right away and said to them "Look, it's nice of you to beg us to stick around but we really should let you finish eating" and we left. Dimitri left her his card with his phone number on it - this is a privileged move but he said that she was girlfriend material (I agree). He met her and afterwards when we were driving he stopped his car and got out to approach an attractive brunette who was walking on the sidewalk in Toronto's club district. She turned out to be an attorney and was clearly interested and gave him her card. It was also interesting how towards the end of the night, where we had 5 minutes before he calculated we needed to head to where we had to leave Phil off, that he felt that in these five minutes he could still squeeze one or two more approaches in. I think a lot of guys (myself included) will often say to themselves that with 5 or 10 minutes left in an evening that there's not enough time to develop some connection with a woman and essentially end their evening at that point. Dimitri sees a few minutes as sufficient and follows one of his rules "ABC" - Always Be Coming on!"
I would say that I took a few key points from meeting and watching Dimitri - first and foremost is to really not care about rejection (he does a some things that open the door to women turning him down but he doesn't care about that at all) and he approaches anywhere and everywhere (except for clubs which he doesn't like), constantly. Secondly is how he only approaches when he gets the eye contact. He's very bold and direct, even if at times the boldness comes exclusively from his business card which is definitely something that women aren't going to be indifferent to - they'll usually love it or hate it, and that's what he's looking for. His energy is also inspiring - there are women everywhere and you just need to go and talk to them. He says that every man can do what he does - if you approach 10 women and be direct with them all, guaranteed you will find at least one or two who will respond positively.
Interesting evening, that's for sure.

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Brad P. (www.dating-coaches.com/):
Brad P. here. I just got back from my Chicago workshop and I'm super excited because we got 4 out of 6 guys laid! All from cold approach!
That 66% rate is unprecedented in seduction workshops, and we hope to keep it going in the upcoming events in LA and NYC.
Lately I've been working hard on improving the learning process of pickup, and I've made a lot of new discoveries. That's why I've been able to get so many guys laid lately. I'd like to share one of my ideas with you on how to learn pickup faster.

I call it "The Golden Rule." You will learn much faster if you follow this rule. It's simple.
The Golden Rule
For every 1 hour you spend studying, spend 2 hours in the field. Studying = time spent on the boards, or with ebooks, CDs, or DVDs. Also includes any time you spend talking theory or going to lairs or seminars. In the field = any time spent cold approaching, looking for girls to cold approach, doing phone game, going on dates, or hanging with FB/MLTRs.

Study time is largely speculative, and doesn't always match up with the real world. So you must add plenty of real world time or you will start getting confused. If you follow the Golden Rule, you will avoid lots of problems, such as:
* Information overload - This is when you have too much knowledge in your head and you can't access it in the field quickly enough.
* Lack of integration - you must make the information a part of your real life. If you don't do this right away, it starts getting distorted or you end up forgetting what you studied.
* The point of no return - This is the point at which your field:studying ratio is so out of whack that you probably will never learn seduction unless you take a workshop with someone who knows how to cut through the mess in your head. If you've been studying 5 times as much as going into field for a year or 2, you're probably fucked. You'll never be able to sort it all out on your own.
So if you're new, get started on the right track by sticking to the Golden Rule now. You'll be glad you did when your learning curve is 1-2 years instead of 4 or 5.

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pzn_player:
LR: Insta-DATE, Insta-FUCK
Hmm...feels good to cum in a girl's mouth. Ok, enough bullshit lol.
I'm already seeing some of you going...pzn_player, what a loser, nice way to start a post man "feels good to cum in a girl's mouth, tell us something we don't know"..... I will.
I'm at a level now, where I'm virtually unattached to the outcome of things. I live in the present moment and embrace that moment to the maximum. This is not game, this is beyond. This is love. Coming from a place of such abundance that the outcome is unimportant. Only the moment is what matters,& the moment HAS to be pleasurable.
I was having breakfast with Cliff, Zan, Hercules and a few guys Saturday morning and Zan told me something interesting. He said, I'm at a level where it's not natural game or pick-up game anymore, it's a state of NO-GAME. This is beginning to become my everyday reality. But what does that mean? No game.
"Good stuff, pzn_player, but some of us are still starting. Tell us some outer-game shit - what the fuck does no game mean. How can you pick-up without game?" Answer: By being yourself and being in the moment.
Nonetheless, I've gotten countless PMs by people and e-mails from Cliff's List Newsletter readers telling me how my posts have helped them in their development so I WILL write this in a traditional LR manner, I'm just letting you all know that the reality I come from is different now.
I'm convinced that if you put me in front of a woman for 1 hour, in our bubble, give me 1 hour with her alone...things will probably turn sexual...almost guaranteed.
I'm too sure of myself....and I just want to share my love of life with women. I want to come out of the comfort zone that society gave me and be really comfortable with who I REALLY am.
I'm thinking people who are going to read this are twofold, those who want my mindset and those who want the juice and the entertainment of the pick-up. I will re-edit this post to make both sections more complete. This first part is, you've guessed it, the mindset. The next part will be a brief outline of the pick-up.
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As you all know, I don't post all my FRs and LRs, I only post them when they're atypical. This one was definitely worth writing. I'm making it quick though. The thing is, I'm getting close to that level I want to be at. Picking-up girls who are SOBER...in an environment where I am naturally going to (i.e coffee shop, bakery, grocery store)...picking them up sober and in mid-day....not DRUNK and after their BT has shot up. This to me...is GAME. Personally, I've had easy lays when the girl's drunk and shit at night...and it's not really game...it's like...if I hadn't picked her up, someone else would have. But in this case, I swept the woman off her feet.

It's 4:30pm, I'm coming back from my law class. It's freezing outside (-30 degrees) and I'm starving.
I walk into a bakery (Premiere Moisson). I grab a baguette and as I'm about to pay for it, I notice this very cute Eastern-European looking girl in a very feminine red coat (by the way, I LOVE women with classy red coats). I tell the baker I don't want the baguette because I notice the girl's getting herself a fruit salad and a sandwich to eat there. So I get myself a meal so I can sit with her and talk to her.
She had the cutest French accent I had ever seen. I get my food, and go next to her. I never face her.
Me: Ok if I sit next to you?
Her: Yeah
Me: You know, your accent was just too funny for me not to talk to you
Her: Omg, why
Me: I don't know, you sounded like a little doll talking
Her: No way
Me: Anyway, I'm so happy today, you should feel lucky I'm talking to you know. I have so much good energy to share
Her: Hahaha!
Me: You look like you watch what you eat, fruit salad and turey sandwich is good.
Her: No I'm not (she's disagreeing....tsk tsk)
Me: Really?
Her: Yeah, I had M&M's today
Me: You like chocolate?
Her: I loveeeee chocolate (no shit sherlock, you're a girl)
Me: I totally do too, I like dark chocolate, or chocolate fondue on a cold winter day!
Her: I like white chocolate (fuck, she's not in my frame)
Me: White chocolate ain't really chocolate, you know that right?
Her: Yeah, you're right, it's chemical (nice, now she's following my frame)
Me: So you know....today I was having a conversation with a friend of mine and....(I go into a story to get her opinion about what she thinks love is)
Her: ...
Me: You know, it's funny, I feel like we're totally comfortable talking together
Her: It's because I'm a sociable girl (fuck, she's still trying to lead)
Me: 5 points for being social, that's an important quality for me, so how old are you anyway
Her: 18
Me: Hmm, I mean your age isn't really what matters for me. I mostly care how mature you think you are for your age
Her: Sort of mature I guess (she's not qualifying herself to me....this is weird)
Me: At least you're honest
Her: Hehe
Me: (we start talking about clubs)
Her: I love clubbing.
Me: Well, I find clubbing's more fun for girls than guys. It's simply, we go there to pick-up. You guys, you go there to get picked-up but you also go there to have fun.
Her: Hahaha, true
Me: The problem is just that you can't feel that deep connection with someone in a club, because it's so loud.
Her: Yeah...but I love going for free drinks
Me: Haha, I'd totally abuse the guys if I was a girl too
Her: Hahaha, for sure
Me: But you know, I've never bought a girl a drink in a club anyway. I mean I'd feel weird, she'd probably think I want something from her or something. I don't want a girl to feel like she owes me something.
Her: Hmm
Me: Besides, why would I buy a girl a drink? To sleep with her? Honestly, it should only be a pleasure for her to sleep with me. I'm better than most guys in bed anyway.
Her: Hehe.
Me: Anyway, let's have the dessert together.
Her: Sure, I almost forgot.
Me: By the way, what are you doing in this area (she told me she lives in the South Shore, which is quite far)?
Her: I take dance lessons.
Me: Cool, I love dancing too
Her: Oh yeah? what kind?
Me: Salsa, merengue...the Latin stuff
Her: Cool, wtv wtv.
Then at this point, conversation became really normal, mostly she talked. This was the ONLY IOI I got I think. By the way guys, I suck with IOIs. I don't even worry about IOI's because that's not in MY reality, I stick to what I WANT.
I told her all about my vision of LOVE. I told her how I'd get married one day. How I'd want 3 kids. I told her how I'd want a daughter and that how I believe the little girl in every woman never dies...she just doesn't share it with everyone. I told her I'd pillow fight the little girl in her and probably win.
Normal conversation, no cumsuckin' routines.
Anyway, I really felt like I wasn't getting IOI's and she wasn't into me, but I felt like at least, I had spent time socializing with a woman, and that was better than nothing.
I told her,
Me: I've gotta get going, but I would LOVE to have your honest opinion on something.
Her: Shoot.
Me: Well I'd have to show you. It's about paint. Because my guy friends all tell me the same thing but I'd rather have a stranger's honest opinion
Her: You don't trust your guy friends?
Me: Well I do, but I know they're trying to please me with their answers and guys don't really care about details anyway
Her: Hahaha
Me: Ok let's go, but not for long, I gotta get things done and you gotta go to your class
Her: Ok!
I bring her to my place. No resistance. Her boot was fucked up, we couldn't take it off, so I carried her (wedding-style) to my couch and took it off for her.
I showed her funny videos on youtube.
I started playing with her hair (yes out of the blue...if you're comfortable with it, she will be too)
I started playing some Bachata and told her I was too tired to teach her. I'd only show her the basis step.
We dance a bit. I told her to breathe deeply, slowly, to put her head on my shoulder and let me lead her into the journey of Bachata.
We dance, I look at her in her eyes, I go for the kiss...she goes for the make-out. I move back
Me: I don't want us to go too fast. you ok with that
Her (big smile): Yes.
Me: If at any point this is going too fast, tell me.
Her: Ok!
Make-out more, I tell her to lay on my bed. She lays down, I make out more, I touch her all over her body. I LOVE HER. I touch her with all the love I can touch her with. I take off her top.
I take off her pants with the excuse "We're not going further, I just want to see all of your attractive body". She complies. I pull everything off at once. I take off my own shirt.
She's making out passionately, I keep reminding her I don't want things to go too fast.
I start fingering her....she's very sensitive. She resists a bit. I tell her. " I already told you, we're not having sex, even if you beg me, I won't, it's too fast for it"
I tell her to come take a 4 minute shower with me, to freshen up. She agrees but says she doesn't want to get to class late. I tell her not to worry, I hold her.
We shower, I finger the daylights out of her. I tell her, while I'm fingering her to kiss me everywhere. I tell her to put me in her mouth. I think LR's don't get any more detailed than mine.
Anyway, I had a condom nearby, I rub it on her a bit and penetrate her a bit...but I'm not a big fan of pussy. (lol, no I'm not gay hahaha). I just ike blow jobs better.
I tell her to give me a blow job. I use Soporno's line "Those are the most beautiful tits I've come upon" LOL.
I kiss her. I hold her. I don't just treat her like a fuck buddy. I keep telling her how we have a natural connection, how we were meant to meet today, how things unraveled naturally between us. I told her to agree to something.
Me: This is not a one time thing, I hope you understand.
Her: Yes.
Me: We are going to see each other again, right?
Her: Yes.
Me: I don't do one time stuff. I'm not expecting anything from you, I'm not proposing to you! But we're going to see each other again. Anyway, I just don't want to treat women like a piece of meat. They're too precious for that.
I wash her with a Japanese wooden bowl I bought (just like in "You Only Live Twice", where the Japanese women wash Bond with warm water in bowls)....she finds it soooo sensual.
I dry her. I kiss her. I put her clothes on with her. I trade numbers with her. I had forgotten her name.
FUCK, I suck with names. I turned it into a joke!
I walk her downstairs and give her directions.
p.s the first time with a girl is never the best in my opinion, I just wrote the LR now because the pick-up info is fresh in my mind.
Total pick-up time: 2 hours (100% sober)
So this proves, mid-day pick-ups with cute girls ARE possible. Get out of your fucking comfort zone and do it.
I wish all of you the kind of success you want,

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Sam Stone (www.onlinedatingpro.com/):

With the ongoing popularity of online dating, and studies reporting that over 40 million Americans participate in online dating, one must ask why two out of three men who join online dating sites quit, claiming to be unsuccessful, what are these men doing wrong??
After hours of research, interviews and observations, I offer some potential root causes for these failures.
What are men doing wrong?

1. Not knowing what they are looking for.
Mistake men make:
The first most common mistake that men make is going online without a clear understanding of what they are looking for. The "what I'm looking for" section in a typical male profile on most dating sites includes little detail and is compiled of generic terms and characteristics. Most men don't even bother to define the height range of the woman they are looking for! Not surprisingly, they all say they are looking for someone slender or athletic.
Woman's Response:
The response such a generic profile gets is disappointing at best. In a subconscious way women interpret this type of profile as of a man who is weak and doesn't know what he's looking for. Women see this man as someone who is looking for attention from a woman, any woman. Most women rarely respond to such a profile. What woman wants to be "any woman"?
How to avoid pitfall:
Before going online to look for a date, a man must make sure that he knows what he is looking for. The best way to figure that out is to write down (actually write it, not just think about it) a list of the top qualities he is looking for in a woman. One should try to cover as many areas as possible. The next step is to narrow these qualities down to the top 15 and then to the top 5 qualities that are most important to him and list them on his profile. Doing so, the man will not only convey to a woman that he knows exactly what he wants but this also helps him to have an understanding of what is important to him in a woman which will save him time by focusing on those women who have those qualities and not just random women he meets online.
2. Not knowing what they have to offer.
Aside from not knowing what they are looking for, the second most common mistake guys make is going online without knowing what they have to offer.
Mistake men make:
Most men go online without putting much thought into what their attraction strategy will be and how they are going to present themselves. Many people (men and women) never stopped to take inventory of their lives. Most people live life on a day to day basis and never think of what the tapestry of their lives is made of. One must ask himself if he has ever taken the time to think about all the things he likes, all the things he is good at, all the things he has to offer to other people?
Woman's Response:
Women who actually bother to read this type of generic information catalog it as just "some guy" among many. This type of profile, without a clear attraction strategy, will not get many responses from women of quality, just like most Spam doesn't get many responses from people who receive it.
How to Avoid Pitfall:
Most people have at least some interesting things in their lives. A man interested in succeeding online must take the time to think about those things and use them to create an attraction strategy. For example, if a man is looking for very intellectual women that like to read, he must put a greater emphasis on that side of his personality in his profile. In this case, talking about wild parties might not result in attracting the type of women he is looking for.
4. How to approach a woman online?
Mistake men make:
Many guys make the mistake of using a generic feature called "wink" (also called "icebreaker", "flirt" and other names in different sites). Winks are usually free, some sites allow a quick pre-scripted text message that was created by the site owners, and can be sent to the girl the man is interested in. A generic "wink" can be compared to a pickup line that one found on the wall of a bar which may be seen and used by every individual in the bar.
Woman's Response
The woman receiving it has most likely already seen that line, heard it from a bunch of drunken guys who tried it on her earlier, and will consider the approach to be extremely pathetic. Unless it comes from a very attractive guy, or the first guy who ever approached her, there is little chance of getting the time of day from her and this approach will actually lower the value of the sender in her eyes.
In most cases attractive/intelligent/talented women get hundreds of winks a week, why would they even bother to look at a generic message?!
How to Avoid Pitfall:
How does one stand out then? The best way get a woman's attention is by using emails. If one already invested all this time going online He should probably cough up the $30 or so it costs to register to the site and send an email. It takes some more work, but this might actually get a response...
5. What to say?
Mistake men make:
Most guys don't know what to say in the first email. The emails women get usually range from one liners saying "hey babe, what's up" to a 5 page emails describing every single thing the guy ever did in his life from birth to this moment. Both methods and what's in between them are bound to fail.
Woman's Response:
My study shows that the top three things that women are looking for are:
1) To have a good experience
2) To have fun
3) To meet a guy who will attract them emotionally.
Emails that include little or none of this will most likely be ignored.
How to Avoid Pitfall:
The email should convey the personality traits that women are attracted to: fun, humor, confidence, and social status. This doesn't mean that you need to tell a knock knock joke about your BMW...
It's very simple actually, all a guy needs to do is be playful, and show that he is confident enough to talk to a woman.
E.g. sometimes girls will email the same first reply twice just because they clicked the send button twice by mistake. A good response to that would be to accuse them of being in love with you and to say that they will become your stalkers... if done in a funny way they will know that you are kidding and teasing them, and they will love it and write back to deny this...
5. How much is enough?
Mistake men make:
Once a guy finds a girl he likes, and she actually responds to his emails and starts an email exchange, it's very tempting to just keep the relationship online. However, it is highly discouraged to get into a lengthy email exchange.
Woman's Response:
My study found that the more a guy emails the girl, the less likely he is to ever meet her. Another downside of a long email relationship is that the more the two email each other, the more of a "fantasy" about each other's personality is created in the couples' minds. These fantasies are not based on real behavior but on how the mind fills the gaps between what they know about each other through their emails and profiles and the real person. Once they meet, they will both discover that in most cases this fantasy is not real and they will both be disappointed.

How to Avoid Pitfall:
My study found that in order to successfully move on to the next step, an email exchange should be no more then 3-5 emails long before the guy asks the girl out on a date. In these emails, a guy should keep on trying to get to know her, and learn more about her while providing fun and interesting conversation to keep her coming back for more.

6. Assuming online attraction offline.
Mistake men make:
This is a trap many men fall into. A common reason for failure that came up again and again in the study was: "Our email exchange went so well, she kept complimenting me and saying how much she wants to meet me, but when we met it was as if we were strangers." This problem comes from assuming that online attraction automatically continues in the real world.
Woman's Response
When communicating online, the girl has very little to go by, so her brain (this goes for guys too) creates a fantasy guy that has all the qualities the man is displaying in the email. Of course, in many cases this "fantasy man" has nothing to do with the man she is communicating with.
When they meet, both of their fantasy worlds are shaken up and the woman feels as if she's meeting a stranger for the first time (suddenly the guy doesn't look or act anything at all like her fantasy guy). She suddenly has to deal with the transition from the safety of hiding behind a computer to actually standing face to face with a real live person.

How to Avoid Pitfall:
The way to overcome this is to re-generate attraction! How do you do that? It's simple; the guy has to recreate what he did in his emails. Tell funny stories, tease her, and demonstrate the attractive qualities we mentioned earlier. This should get her back to remembering all the good feelings she had when the guy was emailing her and will get her attraction back up again.
7. Not leading the online or offline conversation.
Mistake men make:
Many girls who date online expect their first date to be like an interview (in our study we even had a TV reporter that found it extremely hard to break from this structure...).
The "Interview" style date is probably the worst way to have a first date!
First of all, it's boring! A date shouldn't be a job interview; it should be fun, for both people.
Second, it shows lack of confidence. Think about it, who does most of the talking when the guy "interviews" and asks the questions? She does! This "lets the guy off the hook" of being interesting, exciting and funny and doesn't really convey anything about his personality aside from being a good listener, but that's not one of the top qualities that is going to get the guy a new girlfriend.
Third, an "interview" style date forces the girl to lead the conversation and most women are very uncomfortable in this situation; they don't feel comfortable leading the conversation.
Woman's Response
Many of the women that I interviewed indicated that their train of thought was: "I'm hot, I don't need to prove myself, this guy is just sitting there and nodding, probably just thinking about how I look naked" and similar comments to this.
How to Avoid Pitfall:
If the guy doesn't take control of the conversation from the start, he will most likely not get a second date. Taking control of the date means the guy must tell stories: funny ones, exciting ones, interesting or mysterious stories, he must keep the conversation going. A guy should spend the first 10 minutes or so of the date talking most of the time.
8. Falling in love before the first date.
Mistake men make:
Guys have a tendency to "fall in love" with a girl they meet online and feel that they need to "prove their love to her" even before they meet.
A guy shouldn't go overboard in doing things for a woman at first. A guy should not show any supplicating behavior that shows that he needs to do anything besides being himself in order to get her to like him.
In some cases our study found guys who set up elaborate websites for women, or created online play lists for them with music they might like. It's very sweet, very romantic, but it's something that you do for someone that you know.
Woman's Response
Any time a guy goes out of the way to please a woman in order to get her to like him, he is lowering his value in her eyes. Would he go out of his way like this for a total stranger? No, and that's what she is right now...
What the guy is communicating to the girl is "my personality alone is not worthy of your attention, so I will do things for you so that I become worthy".
How to Avoid Pitfall:
Once the couple has been dating for a while, the guy can go ahead and do nice things for her, but for now, he hasn't even met her in person yet. For all he knows, she might be a 13 year old boy messing with him online. A man needs to qualify her as to why she is worthy of his time, not qualify himself as to why he is worthy of her time!

9. Grow up!
Mistake men make:
The worst mistake a man could make in online dating (and in life as well) is not willing to act like a grown man.
Many men get stuck in "Baby mode" - they aren't willing to grow up and realize that a grown man's' personality and behavior are not affected by a woman's reaction to them, or the results of the interaction with women.
A grown man will realize that not all women will be attracted to him, love him or that it takes work and time to get good at dating women. Grown men don't get offended when a woman doesn't write back to them, and as a result send her a nasty email talking about what a terrible person she is.
Woman's Response
Throughout our study I've seen emails from guys going through a whole range of negative emotions as to why the girl didn't answer them while all that happened was that the girl was out of town and didn't mention it to them (in one case, the guy went from being cute to being self conscious "are you not answering me because of my looks?" and eventually he started using abusive language and ranting about her low sense of morality.
Obviously, this type of behavior did not generate a positive response...
How to Avoid Pitfall:
Guys - Grow up! If a girl doesn't respond, or doesn't react like you want her to, follow up, try a different approach, and if that doesn't work, then move on... there are plenty of girls out there. (If you look at a typical large city there are about 60,000 eligible women in your age range, which means that even if you want to meet only 10% of them it will take 16.4 YEARS of going out on a first date every night to meet them all...).

10. This is the worst mistake of all!
The worst mistake a man could make in online dating and in life is not getting the help he knows he needs! Guys don't like to look weak and ask for help, but think about this:
Two out of three men make enough mistakes online for them to think that "online dating doesn't work". Obviously, it does work for the other 1/3 of the people that are on it so it's not "online dating" that does not work, it's something they are doing online that isn't working for them. Someone once said, "if you keep on doing the same thing, you'll always get the same results", this is why it's important to get help and try to fix some of these mistakes you are making, and not feel helpless when you are not getting any responses to your emails and profiles.

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Rion Williams (www.naturalgamedating.com):

New Reality Changing Insights...

I'm going to 'tone up' the personifications in this article, just so you can have some more clarity 'above' than what would normally be seen. Many men judge and qualify women purely on looks instead of having a clue of what they're going up against or how to really connect with her on the sexual level.

A danger I see guys make is thinking that women who meet a certain standard of physical 'looks' are not just the prize, but that women are all 'equal' as far as their behavior. They're 'exempted' from being a bitch if they're 'hot enough'.

She could be an ax-murderer but an anxious guy would still want to do anything to sleep with her because he's been conditioned to value that. He can't get anywhere and can't figure out why. He definitely can't figure women out.

Women are just kind of 'lumped' into one entity (prize) of the man's own understanding of what he believes sexuality and female behavior 'is'. Think of it this way; if you lived in a reality where all women were gold-digging, man-eating, hell-bent, stuck-up, prick-teasing, cruel, 'take everything he owns' bitches who act sweet when they want something - yet instantly 'bangable' on the outside.. that would form your jaded view of reality towards (all) women. Yet you'd still 'desire' or 'need' the value they have and you would fall prey to their manipulative powers.

Women can be the most cruel, life-sucking home-wreckers or they can be the most empowering, spiritual, supportive, kind peacemakers and perfect mothers. Differentiating these is crucial and we're talking about completely DIFFERENT women. Female behavior is NOT equal. (It helps to see things like this at 'Alpha' levels because otherwise it becomes muddled.)

Of course it's usually not that extreme, but little do men realize that a home-wrecking behavioral adaptation is purely rooted in socio-cultural 'environmental' relational influences or causality. External, unnatural agenda's influenced the behavior. There are REASONS why they act the way they do and taking all of the blame back onto yourself as the root of the problem is psychologically damaging and just unnecessary.

Women are the other half of the equation so understanding their behavior might be just a LITTLE bit important especially since they're the ones to 'let you in' or not. If a stripper pole is in the environment, chances are eventually a woman is going to start dancing on it, even if it's the youngest Kardashian daughter.

Many men have no reference point to compare to any other 'reality' because they take what they see subjectively around them (in THEIR unique relationships) as 'real'. It's the way things 'are'.

Real ladies' men have different types of relationships. That's why I teach Relational Behaviorism instead of the Classical Behaviorism approach of (powerlessly) dealing with what's right in front of us.

I work on sorting out the ROOTS of the issues instead of putting more band-aids on a deep wound such as approaching even more women as the way to get rid of the fear.

To have real changes, I have my guys look at things as they really are and were. We change their core states and beliefs to then affect the outcomes instead of beating a dead horse.

Everything has a cause and effect history or relationship. Understanding where behavior comes from and its comparison to nature can set a man free and powerful.

Causality defines reality. People have different realities because of their own causal behavioral influences.

So...

If you only knew ONE model of reality, again - it would affect your thoughts, beliefs and relationships with other women.

You have to know what a woman's true sexuality is if you want to attract it. This comes from having a strong emotional understanding of a more natural reality. And part of the secret is that we've had the wrong models of sexuality.

Now, millions of women have now taken on the behavioral characteristics of these social alpha models we have in the Western world.

The bleached hair, boob job, plastic surgery, perma-tan, pet chihuahuas and huge sunglasses. I call these Social Alpha's. It's generally what most PUA's are after; women who have social value. Any one of these 'soft porn clones' could now theoretically sleep with 2,000,000 drooling guys for no other reason than selling out and adapting to their own immediate socio-cultural influence despite their own real personality or inner value. The problem is that men think this social adaptation is a woman's sexuality. In fact, millions of them BELIEVE it and through their own physiological 'processes' they REINFORCE this belief and it affects and influences their entire reality, actions and results.

Yet none of it is sexual. Sexploitation is purely a social device to influence the economic behavior of men. It doesn't exist in nature.

(Prickteasing is the social process of sexual communication. Flirting is the natural process of sexual communication.) And because of this social power, a woman retains her apparent 'value' shooting men down and will only open up to a man who represents natural power and who communicates with her as an equal. He is powerful by being equal to her power. When he accepts his power he doesn't have to DHV/NEG. If a PUA wants power, he has to work on his natural game and ability to be a hot woman's physiological equal because it will rarely happen on the social level.

A woman's true sexuality lies beneath the surface waiting for a man who can communicate with it. Seduction is bringing out the NATURAL character of women and no wonder it's so difficult if men don't even know what it is! I didn't before either and things were inconsistent and incomparable compared to today.

Understanding that women are NOT actually sluts is all part of the irony. Somehow NOT thinking of them as sex objects when they look and act it is up to the man to know and represent. The carrot remains in front of a donkey on a string because of the type of relationship he has to it. Guys have to work ten times as hard to meet or succeed with women and dating when they just communicate on the 6% of interpersonal and social dynamics.

Meanwhile, guys like me and other naturals are communicating value on a different level and having predictable consistency with new women. And the women keep wanting MORE because we have our 94% taken care of from the ground up. Also, we don't give up our power.

Physical relationships are the standard based on how you frame things.

Ok, so how do you change your reality?

I don't have time to fully explain it here, but re-frame your relationship to all social influence and other sources of power while reconditioning yourself into a more accurate natural reality.

Again, Reality is causality: cause and effect relationships built in history leading up to your current reality. Relational influences determined your thoughts, beliefs, actions, and emotions. They affected your experience of reality over time and will again. So if your 'cause' was sexploitation and skin (which is a social 'program'), then your effect is going to be more of that social program; magazines, porn, chasing women, economic transmutations, etc. But what if you had different causes going back in history? What if you lived in a more natural reality where women weren't exploited and instead were more in touch with their true biological nature?

EVERYTHING would be different; yet because causality is invisible you just wouldn't know that. So, if you want a different effect tomorrow, change your causes today. Get control over the types of state-influencing relationships you allow into your life that affect your emotions and beliefs. This means re-framing your definition of sexuality as I teach guys.

Along with experience with women, Relational NLP (aka 'Natural Grounding') has worked literal miracles for my abilities, body language, chemistry and success with women.

Its power was beyond my inner game to make real physiological changes and abolishment of all fear of women. Being 'equal' to all women opens doors you can't imagine.

'How' to become a natural (who is equal to all female energy and power) is now my main focus in teaching.

Social skills have their area but it's still a limited part of communication and fractional of 'what actually works' with women and attraction. I encourage you to study the 94% of the natural and energy dynamics so you can make progress outside of the 6% of your inner, social and verbal skills. It's 94% for a reason and the results are well worth it. All of your connections and interactions with women will be affected and you'll notice more tangible results.

It's rare to find a natural who not only has the experience with women but also understands the dynamics and science beneath it. Learn from those guys ; )

I look forward to being on the forefront of a more natural approach and helping guys to be confident, real, successful and magnetically attractive to the women they want.

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