Nothing will happen for you unless you get off the couch

Tony B.:
>Mystery: Ah, but asking HER OUT FOR A DRINK is different from buying a girl a drink that you JUST MET AT A BAR. If you INVITE someone out for something, then you will pay. If you say, "come join my friends", then SHE pays. Be aware of the way you invite someone.

Tony B.: Exactly, I agree with you, there is no reason to buy a girl a drink that I just met out at a bar. I DID invite her out for a drink and she let me know she was interested in me by telling me that, and even told me how she likes to be courted.
>Mystery: She's setting you up for SUGAR DADDY. My MM Solution: I pull out a wad of flash cash in a money clip and say, "See this? Who's money is this? That's right, MINE. Not yours, MINE. Don't nickel and dime me k? Get your OWN drink." This shows that you HAVE MONEY and you AREN'T CHEAP. You just aren't going to be SHIT ON. Later if I want to buy her something, I will. But not cause I HAVE to based on ancient CULTURAL PROTOCOL.

Tony B.: Cultural protocol is there for a reason, I'm not saying that what you do doesn't work for you, I am a member of the Lounge and have seen some of the pictures of the women you date, Kudos. My point is that there are women out there that have these guidelines, and if she is really interested in you why not conform to a couple guidelines? I thought that is what NLP is all about, anyway. Showing them something that they want, and fractionating...causing her to want it more and realize that it can be lost
> Mystery: Do you see how pulling out a wad of bills shuts them the fuck up?! Next time, man, next time. "That's right, this wad of cash is MINE. And with it, I buy myself stuff. Sure I may buy my girlfriend stuff with MY money, but you're not my GF are you? No. Ok then." I've been there man, I feel ya.

Tony B.: What reason would she want to be your girlfriend if her criteria isn't being met in the first place? You are just displaying how much of a cheap ass you are and how much money you really don't have to spread. Albeit, the money is not for her, it's for YOUR enjoyment of being in an environment where everyone is happy, but you are the source of that happiness, something they will remember. I am not advocating massive amounts of gifts for her or even a single gift, as a matter of fact. I am simply talking about DRINKS. Consumables. Something that you do for the enjoyment.
>Mystery: You don't tell her the TRUTH. "Well, I'm trying to appear cool to you while not wasting my hard earned money on a girl who may not fuck me anyways."

Tony B.: Money has the same effect as social proof . It shows itself off, you don't show it off. Its value is only how much you install in it.
>Mystery: I truly believe that you should treat your mate like a princess. Your MATE! But a girl you just MET? Sorry, she needs to QUALIFY HERSELF before she gets a chance to be with THIS MALE 10 thank you.

Tony B.: Ahem.. How about that future pacing stuff? Showing her the good of a future with you. Something also to be tread lightly on, cause you are still SAYING IT, you better perform on it. In my opinion, Future pacing is best done by telling her a few things in distant future within her IMAGINATION, all the other stuff that is achievable, just shut up about it and do it spontaneously. Of course, there is no way to say that either way is wrong, there are applications for both.
> Mystery: Attitude is NOT the solution. You need to SYSTEMATICALLY DEMONSTRATE your value. You need specific tactics and strategies, not pep talks. In the movie "Magnolia", Tom Cruise said the KEY to getting a women into bed was "LANGUAGING". I gave that a LOT of thought. And I disagree. The MAGIC KEY is "DEMONSTRATION".

Tony B.: Nobody cares about what you say, they just see what appeals to them. And the only way to get that out of them is by listening to them. Language is how they communicate their ideas and innermost desires to you. Unless you are a REALLY good mind reader, I doubt you have been able to demonstrate anything other than appealing spectacles that MAY interest the subject. If you are standing in front of some chick and you start into a magic show, you are taking a stab in the dark. But, if someday you are talking to her about magic and it appeals to her then you know that you have a go ahead to do that and have her complete attention
>Mystery: PROVE by DEMONSTRATION (even PHOTOS) is best. TALKING ABOUT your greatness SUCKS! In group theory, we DEMONSTRATE value by making the target 's peer group LOVE us. We get social proof by pawning 2 girls from a previous group and merging them with the new group. We show photos that have us doing AWESOME things with AWESOME people. Saying, "no really, I'm cool" doesn't fry a girl's bacon.

Tony B.: Pulling out your pictures and digital camera with a photo routine looks nearly as desperate as telling her you are really cool. I'm looking at the really big picture here and I just can't see how there is any way, shape or form to pull out your camera non-chalantly to let her look through your photos and not presenting the fact that you are a desperate fool looking for that social proof factor. C'mon get real, if you have to stoop to photos to prove how cool you are, you need to do more work on your social life, you should be getting approached by people that haven't seen you in "however long" to say "hi" to you. THAT, my friend, is social proof. They are coming back to you cause you made them feel good and they like you, not just some chick you nail and decide to put in your camera for a quick social proof stunt.

I leave photos around my house for some of the girls that I have over here, they pick them up. Rarely do they care to ask the story of these pictures, and as much rapport as I have with these girls, I don't think they really give a shit how many other girls I have fucked, they just wanna know how I can make them feel as good as the girls in the pictures feel, or even better for that matter.
>Mystery: If you aren't doing GROUPS, strongly consider doing my workshop. I demonstrate social dynamics in it. Trust me, you'll benefit.

Tony B.: Groups work great, no doubt, I work groups as large as 8 at times and commonly groups of 3-5. Either way, it is a great way to meet new people and demonstrate how you are the kind of person that they wanna be around.
>Mystery: Don't buy a STRANGER a drink. Once you know each other's names, you can say "how bout you take the first round and I'll take the next." Then don't DATE her first. Tell her you don't DATE girls you don't sleep with. Once she is your GF, then you will have to buy her something to start. How's that for a fair game plan?

Tony B.: Why trade off drinks with someone you just met? The center of that attention is drinks. If I meet a girl in a bar, I let her buy her own drinks, all night. IF and only if, I am doing a shot on my way out the door, I'll offer to buy her one or whatever group of people I am in, we always end up doing some sexually named shot at the end of the night. THAT'S IT!
> Cliff's Comment: I once went out with a very hot little number that I had met at a trade show. She offered to pay for herself at the end of the meal and without going into details, I went along with it. I later found out from various sources that this was a test and that I had failed miserably.
>Mystery: See, this is DATE stuff. You have to tell her UP FRONT what YOUR RULES are, otherwise you have to do what is EXPECTED of you ... which is to PAY. It's best to get the "I only date GFs" out of the way early so set PROPER expectations."

Tony B.: I love the way you reframe the word dating, it astonishes me, like you made up the word. There is a reason that people use nominalizations, they fit into the things that society teaches people. Dating from a PUA stance is totally different than from a chick's stance, never mind the AFC 's, lol.

I'm never gonna advocate when AFC 's do, I am however gonna say that there is a way that society does function and if you, as a PUA want to be at least somewhat fitting for society, you cannot sit and nitpick the criteria that someone has, there is a reason that they feel that way. When I talk to a chick about dating her, and won't buy her drinks on the first date, I will SHOW her other ways that I would like to be with her. If I ask her out.. (from now on) I know that I am asking her out, and that's something that two people do in the dating stage.. My nominalizations and deletions are different. When she is my GIRLFRIEND, I'm not dating her any longer, I am fucking her and she knows that she comes home to me and me only. I own her heart and her mind. Nothing less.

Dating a chick, that's like that period that you figure out if you wanna just fuck this girl, or see her more often. But hey, that's my values. I don't need a million girlfriends, one will do fine. 8 or 10 chicks to date at a time is certainly a good start to finding out what I want when it comes to down to having a girlfriend, and it helps to stop from focusing on just one girl.
>> Cliff's Comment (cont'd) :She wasn't interested to get together again. My usual way of dealing with this (which I knew at the time and didn't use for no explainable reason), is that if they offer to pay I tell them that it is my pleasure to pay for them but if they want to pay, no problem. I make sure they understand that it is meaningless to me either way so I take the importance out of the situation.
> Mystery: Personally, I BELIEVE in not spending my hard earned money til she is my GF, so telling her this works to my advantage.

Tony B.: You said it all right there, "PERSONALLY" It's your opinion, it's all the way YOU think.

In closing, I am not about to challenge your personality, ethics or morals, I have SEEN the women you get. I am just saying that your way and the HARD-NOSED "I'm NOT buying your drinks" attitude isn't going to get you into some of their panties. It's a drink, or a dinner, it's time spent together NOT worried about the money, not having a care in the world. Getting into her mind and seducing her, filling every crevice of her sexual being with you, to that point where you own her mind, you are everything she ever wanted and wouldn't think of being with anyone else. Do it with as many women you want to. Let your actions speak the words that you want to speak, she'll figure out just what you are about on her own, if you do it right.

I'm only familiar with the earlier versions of your photo routine but, I have spent a lot of time learning how to make people feel jealous and being the cure of their jealousy. It's such a negative emotion that eats people up inside so deeply and they tie up so much around those bad feelings that it just won't do much for you at all, no matter what side of it you are on. Instead of feeding her jealousy with pics, try capturing her imagination with her thoughts and expanding her mind on those thoughts with you. Like I said, own her mind.. ENTIRELY.

Anonymous (21st Century A.D.): "The best accomplishment I have ever had is owning someone's mind, the best feeling that they ever had was me owning them"

Dwayne:
> Maximillian Hell: I heard that the physicist Richard Feynman made a great discovery about sex, one merely had to ask for it. Does anyone know which book of his this is in?

Dwayne: You can find Feynman's quote at this site: www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/2_2.html#Feynman_8

Kipp: I met this lady on line who I have since been speaking with by telephone. We are to meet when I go to a conference in New Orleans in two weeks. She sent some photos and I asked her what color her eyes were. She told me they are vivid blue and she gets compliments all the time. In fact she says she gets approached by guys who tell her what great eyes she has. She says this really turns her off! She told me, does that mean that if I had brown eyes I would not be worth talking to? OR because some guy notices the obvious, that I should pay some attention to him? I might point out that I told her she was photogenic but that the best part of email communication was that I could get to know her openly without being distracted by her physicality so that I could see her as she really is before meeting her.

Tenore:
> Maximillian Hell: I heard that the physicist Richard Feynman made a great discovery about sex, one merely had to ask for it. Does anyone know which book of his this is in?

Tenore: Yes, this is in "Surely You're Joking Mr. Feynman."

Actually, what Feynman says is that before buying a woman a drink or anything, he would first ask her if she was going to have sex with him that night. Unless she replied with a convincing "yes," he would not buy her anything.

Feynman describes in great detail his lack of success as a first-class AFC . He tells how he had been hanging around in bars in Las Vegas, trying to score with the women. He had been very generous in wining and dining them, and having ZERO success. Finally he ran into an old gambler who explained to him, "under no circumstances be a gentleman! You must disrespect the girls. Furthermore, the very first rule is, don't buy a girl anything - not even a package of cigarettes - until you've asked her if she'll sleep with you, and you're convinced that she will, and that she's not lying." (Bantam Books, NY, 1985, p. 170)

Feynman was properly incredulous when he first heard this, but being the great physicist that he was (he went on to win the Nobel prize in physics), he decided to perform the experiment. He was astonished to learn that his friend's advice was precisely correct. He refused one woman's requests to buy her food and drinks, and to his own astonishment ended up sleeping with her that night.

"I adopted the attitude that all those bar girls are all bitches, that they aren't worth anything, and all they're in there for is to get you to buy them a drink, and they're not going to give you a goddamn thing; I'm not going to be a gentleman to such worthless bitches, and so on. I learned it till it was automatic."

He later found out that the same approach worked on "respectable" women as well. Truly, one of the great minds of our century, perhaps the only recognized genius to apply his talents to the art of seduction, and to write about it. He was an uncommonly honest man as well. (Incidentally, one recent article claimed that the mathematician and philosopher Bertrand Russell was a "sexual predator" who did not hesitate to seduce even the wife of a friend, for example Mrs. T.S. Elliot. Who says that geniuses have to be nerds?!)

Throughfare:
>Maximillian Hell: I heard that the physicist Richard Feynman made a great discovery about sex, one merely had to ask for it. Does anyone know which book of his this is in?

Throughfare: A whole chapter entitled "You Just Ask Them" is devoted to this discovery in his book "Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman!" The book is still in print, every university library has a copy- and it's only $10.95 to buy from Amazon. It's a great read - Feynman was quite the ladies' man, and I think his success had a lot to do with the principles seen on this list: He was cocky and funny. He was unpretentious (he even tried to see if he could get out of going to the Nobel Prize award ceremony and just have it sent to him) but he lived a life of incredible adventure, was completely unconcerned about "what other people might think" and followed his intuitions and desires. He could demonstrate value by talking about, for example, how he was a drummer for a Samba School in Brazil. Women are impressed by this kind of thing - the "adventurer/lover" as opposed to the "provider/mate" type. Anyways, if you just want to read the chapter, go to: www.kjartan.org/humor/dating/youjustask.html

Uriah:
> Dr Alex Bender (aka Poetdude): Lately I've been thinking about how a lot of guys go about handling their romantic lives, and how it all relates to my studies in Eastern philosophy - especially to my favorite book, the Tao Te Ching, by Lao Tse. See, here in Boston, I've got a lot of buddies who are great guys - smart, young, good-looking, educated, nice jobs, funny. It looks like they've got it all together. And yet, so many of them cannot get it together when it comes to women. It seems that they spend their lives in one of two states: being alone (and getting to know Rosey and her five sisters really well), or engaging in a 'relationship by accident'. You know what I'm talking about - somewhere there is a random collision, usually alcohol-enhanced, and two people end up spending more and more time together, until they are 'going out', whatever that means. People often perpetuate these relationships longer than they should, often going as far as moving in with or marrying said random collider. I've been thi
nking this is not entirely healthy behavior. Let me give you an analogy. Let's say you go grocery shopping, and I say that instead of going and browsing the cereal section, I'm going to blindfold you, and you have to settle for the first cereal that you stumble onto. Would you settle for that? What if I told you that you could only have cereal if one of the boxes happened to fall off the shelf and into your arms, and you weren't allowed to reach for one at all? Would you be OK with that? And yet, a lot of guys out there are doing exactly that when it comes to dealing with women - going at it blind, waiting for accident to bring them something. My point is that a lot of men (and women) out there are settling for what they can get, vs. going for what they want. To take the cereal analogy a bit further: you wouldn't just settle for any random cereal when you know you have choices and can afford any kind that you want. Bringing it back to the context of relationships, three things are operating to deprive people
of their fulfillment: they don't know what they want; they bring a scarcity mentality to the interaction - an imagined lack of choice; and they don't think they can get what they want. The Tao Te Ching has a lot to say about that, so I decided to write up my thoughts. I won't claim much originality - human history has been long enough to come up with most of these ideas beforehand. However, in terms of simplicity, ease of applicability and contemporaneity of this material, it's pretty darn good. It's an amalgam of an eclectic education in psychology, psychiatry, anthropology, the sciences, hypnotherapy, NLP , literature, and close observation of human nature. It's also a record of my journey from being a frustrated Nice Guy to being a much more fulfilled, balanced Good Guy. Some of my friends got results within 24 hours of my presenting this material to them. I call it The Tao of Dating: How to be a good man and get the fulfillment you deserve. May you also find it useful. First off, let's figure out what you
really want out of a relationship (and by 'relationship', I mean any kind of interaction with someone, all the way from one-night stand to married with 2.3 kids in Burbville). Do you want something long-term and stable with someone you like? Or do you prefer RLDs (relationships of limited duration)? Are you looking to get laid a lot, and have hot, unbridled sex with as many women as possible? Whatever results you are looking for are OK - I just want you to be honest with yourself as to what those results are. Now a lot of people are looking for the magic phrase or gimmick or pattern to get the results, to get them success. Occasionally you will succeed like that, in the same manner that a novice marksman can occasionally hit the bulls eye by indiscriminately strafing the target . But I am here to tell you that success - of the reproducible, long-term kind - is not a gimmick, nor is it a sporadic occurrence. It is a habit. As Lao Tse would say it, it's a way of being, not a way of becoming (the theme of being
vs becoming will recur - look out for it). Good results flow from right behaviors. Right behaviors flow from right attitudes. Right attitudes flow from right beliefs. And beliefs are the core of who you are. Get the right beliefs, and the rest will follow naturally and effortlessly. Are you with me here? Another way of expressing this concept comes out of neurolinguistic programming ( NLP ). Let's say you want to be rich. Most people think that the way to be rich is by having lots of money, and so they go seeking the signs of wealth ('becoming'). NLP says that the proper sequence for achievement is Be-Do-Have: first, you must think like a rich person, and have those core beliefs operating at the depths of who you are (BE); then you will behave like a rich person (DO); and finally, that naturally allows you to come into possession of the outward signs of wealth (HAVE). In the dating arena, an example would be that you would be the super mack daddy, then behave like one, then have all the women you could possib
ly handle. Got it? Good. I'm starting to feel my tendonitis acting up, but before I sign off, I'd like to share with you Chapter 36 of the Tao Te Ching, as translated by Stephen Mitchell. It's a great translation, and I urge all of you who haven't yet read this book to get your own copy today. It changed my life, and perhaps it can change yours, too. A lot of the concepts and techniques I will go over come directly from this little bit of concentrated wisdom: "If you want to shrink something, you must first allow it to expand. If you want to get rid of something, you must first allow it to flourish. If you want to take something, you must first allow it to be given. This is called the subtle perception of the way things are. The soft overcomes the hard. The slow overcomes the fast. Let your workings remain a mystery. Just show people the results." Next time: more on how all of this relates to romantic success; being like water; manhood in America; Nice Guys vs Good Guys; dating as a martial a
rt.

Uriah: I see a recurring theme, here. It is very difficult to put everything in perspective. I've managed to get through everything on fas.speed-seduction.com (EVERYTHING), in addition to other sources (I went through sosuave.com before finding this place, which actually explains the tactics of my PU mentor at least partially). But there's SO much here, and SO much of it is contradictory! What I've managed to glean is that there are certain things that all dojos of PUA have in common.

1. Nothing will happen for you unless you get off the couch. 2. Confidence is good. 3. Your state of mind makes a big difference. 4. Practice makes Perfect.

I would like to take some time to point out the validity of the old advice, "Just Be Yourself". Yes, I know it's crappy advice, but that's mainly because we don't know HOW. If you are a cocky, arrogant, funny SOB, then that will get you laid. If you are a quiet, intelligent, spiritual person, then even THAT can get you laid. What is important is being honest with yourself, and to make your actions reflect that. That is the root of confidence.

It's been said many times before: you need to decide what you want. Then go for it. That's true of business -- (read the book called Rich Dad, Poor Dad -- it's all about thinking like a rich person, so that you can go do what it takes to become a rich person -- it changed my life), that's true of your body, mind, and spirit, and it's true with relationships. You get what you believe you'll get. To a certain degree, life itself is a self-fulfilling prophecy (being defined as a prediction that comes true as a result of making the prediction, mostly through your sub-conscious affecting your actions). We as humans can alter those beliefs, and effectively shape the future for ourselves. NLP and hypnosis can get into the subconscious. Affirmations, goal setting, and controlling your thoughts can also alter your thought patterns, which are virtually indistinguishable from beliefs.

Let's talk about controlling your thoughts. If I tell myself, I'm going to wake up tomorrow at 6 AM and mean it, I will, alarm or no, every time, even on two hours sleep. Similarly, if I tell myself, I'm going to set my alarm for 6 AM tomorrow, and hopefully I'll manage to get up on time, there is an implied disbelief, that will make it SO much harder to get up. Try this yourself. It works for me, every time (let's note that there are other ways you can make it easier, like following a routine, and true belief in the power of the mind).

It's important for you to realize that when you feel something, it is a perception. Your subconscious dictates what perceptions you have. If you tell yourself (and believe it) that you won't be tired if you get no sleep every night so you can study, and that that studying will go very well, then it is likely that you will prove yourself right. The reason this is difficult in practice is that it is very very difficult to believe, because of your long history of it not happening that way, and your relative newness to these concepts (compared to someone taught this at birth). In this way, attitude, beliefs, thoughts and behavior are all linked. Some you have direct control over, and some you do not, but because they are linked, you can use your control over one to change the others. Have you ever done something and not known why? That is your subconscious influencing your behavior. Because it is all a part of your mind, your subconscious has even more power over your thoughts.

Thomas Edison believed that he could make an electric lamp. Did you know that he failed thousands and thousands of times before succeeding? After a thousand failures, by all rational means, he should have decided that it was impossible. By the scientific method, he should have realized that his hypothesis was wrong. But he believed, and ultimately succeeded, making him one of the very richest men of his day. That is letting NOTHING stop in your way. There is a power about someone who will stop at nothing to get what they want, and it is infectious and attractive. That's not to say you should be immoral or emulate those figures in history with that attitude. Part of what I want out of life is to be a moral, respectable person who is generally well-liked. I also want to be rich, famous, powerful, and surrounded by great people. By utilizing techniques to internalize that, like affirmations, like controlling my negative thoughts, keeping my eye on the prize, self-hypnosis, and acting to the best of my abilities
as someone on my path would, I achieve that aura of personal power, and things will and are happening for me to make it a reality. The winning attitude, common to most great men throughout history, is developing in me.

Look, I don't care if you think this is bullshit or hocus pocus malarkey. The important thing is that it works, and has worked for millions right up through history. Another good book that goes into this (again, relating to money) is Think and Grow Rich.

How is it that I can hypnotize a girl to have an orgasm whenever I say the word "monkey feathers" (yes, I have done this, and yes, it works)? If even an orgasm is the product of the subconscious, then what can I affect in myself? Here's a question: are my hypnotically induced orgasms physiologically different from real ones (assuming a perfectly phrased hypnotic suggestion, noting all the physiological and psychological effects of a real orgasm)? If not, then just imagine the power of hypnosis. Can we make all involuntary body functions fall under the power of our minds? Can I cause my body to build more muscle than my exercise habits would suggest? Can I speed up my metabolism? Can I increase the size of my penis? Can I make my hair grow faster? (or at all, for you bald men). Can I stave off aging, or even reverse it? Regenerate lost cells? Lost limbs? The world record free-dive champion can control his body to the point where his heart beats fewer than 20 times per minute. How is this possible? Think about
the training regimen that a Navy SEAL goes through. Many of these tasks are simply not humanly possible for large portions of the population. My PUA mentor is an ex-SEAL, and the shit he went through is just fucking insane. His take is that you'd be surprised what you can do if you force yourself. To let nothing stand in your way. That is what gets someone through the most rigorous training on earth. Sheer force of will. That is what makes a man into a mountain. Are any of you familiar with the martial art where men can learn to stand against the point of a sword and walk forward until the sword breaks without breaking the skin? These examples (among others, and they are NUMEROUS) make me think that we have not yet begun to tap the power of the mind.

I'm not sure this stuff will do any of that (much less all). But if it does, then wow, we are missing out! And either way, it DOES work for simpler stuff that we KNOW is possible.

Maximillian Hell: What other seduction resources--lists, newsletters, forums, etc.,-- are you guys finding useful? I was just deleting a ton of old Mindlist and The Art posts, wondering vaguely if any were worth reading.

Cliff's Comment: As for what else is useful, I think you will find a lot on the various sites plugged on my site (eg. pickupguide.com, fas.speed-seduction.com, layguide.com, sosuave.com, etc.). That should keep you busy for a long time.

Qaexl (www.next-horizons.com/qaexl/):
> >What Qaexl said about power really affected me. What ways does a man (and an AFC in partic.) have to develop his own power, beyond say the martial arts example?

Qaexl: Martial arts is a great example, mainly because it gets your body involved. That's the key point -- you first must have power within yourself, not necessarily over yourself, or over other people. The first thing a newbie should do is visit this page: wilber.shambhala.com/html/books/ontast_wharyo.cfm/xid,7686/yid,9442125 The newbie who goes to there and reads it and does it, gets that state of "detachment yet involvement". It is very easy to do, and for most people, fairly easy to understand. It doesn't require a trance, an altered state, software (yes, you CAN go look it up at the local public library. The essay is called "So Who Are You?" in Ken Wilber's book, One Taste) or anything special. All Ken Wilber does is point out something that is so very close, and never left anyone, and will always be there. Any discussion of power gets confusing unless you experienced this. The newbie shouldn't even bother reading the rest of what I have to say about developing power until he reads that and gets familiar
with that state. It is in doing this that you can watch any and all excuses, reasonings, rationalizing, blathering, and whining that you do. Until you, as the newbie, have read that above essay, you will always rationalize and excuse your way of why power doesn't work. It is why going to any one of the gentlemen's seminars is so effective -- that state rubs off on you. The second thing is to gain sexual power. Now, a lot of newbies masturbate. That is OK. However, it is often with the idea that it is wrong -- maybe some latent guilt, maybe "Why am I here playing with myself and I can't get any chicks" and on and on and on. Well, you know what? Sexual energy is the easiest kind of power to awaken in you. And if you tell yourself those things, they imprint those affirmations into you much more deeply. A while back, I had asked myself, why in the world would you want to gain sexual power and be horny all the time and not ever have it consummate it? The weird thing is that, gaining sexual power -- REAL sexual pow
er does make you horny. It also entrains that state into the men and women around you. The trick is, again, reading that above essay: are you your own horniness? No. You're not. Being comfortable in yourself WHILE being highly sexed is like holding back a dam. If you get the chance to, go to the bottom of a large dam. The larger, the better. And think to yourself, look at that dam. The only thing that keeps all that water from crashing down on your head is the power of the dam. A man who has that degree of sexual energy -- while being RELAXED, and casual about it, is like that dam. Women sense it, easily. Other men sense it, though it will often translate to respect. A lot of newbies are like that dam, only the dam is feeble and prone to leak. They masturbate at home, alone, and let the water drain off, rather than finding a way to build up that dam. But I tell you, it is better to drain it off if you see the dam as anything other than being relaxed. You casually hold that wellspring of sexual power, confiden
t in knowing that it will easily fill up. Sounds like a paradox? Of course. How do you achieve it? Read that essay. At the end of reading that essay, you'll be at that state where that paradox gets resolved. Ever been in the eye of a storm? The eye of a storm is very very calm, while the wind and water rages around it. That essay takes you to that eye of the storm, shows you how to find it easily. Then let the storm rage. Keep in mind, though, that just because the center of the storm doesn't seem to move, all the movements of the storm must still pass through that eye. That's power. The more power you have, the more it *entrains* the people around you. If you ever went to a clock shop, you can see how all the pendulums eventually entrain themselves to the largest pendulum. The entrainment is the same way the hemisync technology entrains your brain waves to put you into a trance. The entrainment is the same way an NLP practitioner goes into rapport with another person and then entrains them to a different sta
te. If you have power, people go into rapport with *you*. If you're sexually tense, that tends to drive people away, or have fights that break out, bad feelings all around. Being relaxed and highly sexual, you entrain that state. Some people will still not be able to handle it and get out of your way, and some women would feel like they are swept off their feet. You've started awakening the power in those women... The third thing you (as a newbie) must master is your breath. Singers with great vocal power are taught to breath in a way that moves their diaphragm, for good reason. This one goes lower. You tactilely imagine a balloon below your navel that expands and presses against the front, downward into your crotch (PC muscles), and backward to your spine as you inhale (deeply with your diaphragm) while your diaphragm is the *plunger* that pushes down into that balloon. You tactilely imagine that same balloon to easily collapse inward, pulling up your PC muscles (the muscles that you use to cut off a stream
of piss while you're in the bathroom), while the sides and your lower back muscles feel like they're collapsing inward. The plunger -- the diaphragm -- moves up. You slow down your breathing, in easy, natural ways. You want to do this as often as you can. Finding that center in "So Who Are You?" is much easier with this kind of a breathing. If you do it right, you should notice that you're getting more and more horny, while being more and more relaxed. As you do this *daily*, you'll start noticing that people pay more attention to you, and your eyes seem to be like little laser points, turning people around. Over the course of time, it gets easier and easier to stare down people, as you gain more power. It becomes harder for someone to intimidate you, as you merely need to go to that place you found from reading "So Who Are You?" then slow and deepen your breath. It's something that you practice until it becomes a habit, that adds power to any sort of technique that you read on here or on the web, including a
ny psychic influence techniques you might use. Mind you, the above three things help the newbie get started. It's possible (if you want to wait that long) to clean yourself up from inside out and gain that sort of power. These are foundational to learning and applying the techniques you read here on Cliff's list. It seems so stupid, so basic, so *boring* ... but hey, it's not my problem that you want to persist in confusing aggression with power. There are other great material on this subject that I've only written very briefly about. I'll comment on the stuff I've bought and read, though what I've heard second hand about let's say as an example, Ross's seminars, have all and more of the elements that I listed above, as do other "systems" that actually work. Kent Sayre's Unstoppable Confidence uses different language, different perspective, and is much more detailed. Sisonpyh's Double Your Dating material certainly goes into great detail about not being a WUSS. Read some of the comments that women have sent t
o his newsletter. It's hilarious. NO9 mentioned the 48 Laws of Power; this book details the application of power, so that it becomes visible. It's a great read, and an excellent encyclopedia full of recipes and howtos. Keep in mind that you need to develop your power first, before applying it ::Qaexl points to the three steps outlined above::. If you're brave, you can get a translation of Sun Tzu's Art of War or Musashi's Book of Five Rings. My all time favorite is Dr. Glenn Morris's first book, Path Notes of an American Ninja Master, which details what martial arts is about, and it isn't just for quaint ideas like "self-defense" or "kicking ass" (though there's plenty of that). That book is about, you guessed it, power. Remember, it is *biologically* driven, so whatever you pursue, keep in body your mind.

Mark B.: Classic success story: I am in downtown Toronto sitting down having coffee with a friend when I see an HB9 black girl walk by. I say "hi" to her to which she says nothing for a second but then looks back and says "Hi, there. I am sorry but I was in a daze and did not hear you right away" and then she keeps on walking. After about 40 feet she turns back to look and smiles. I bid good bye to my friend and run after her. As I approached her I said "hey, do you always walk around like that in a daze". She says "well, no, but I just moved into this building and I have been moving in my stuff and my mind is on 20 different things". Then we talked on the street for about 20 minutes about why she moved here, where she lived before, where she works, what I do, what she liked to do when she goes out. She was also carrying a bunch of grocery bags and said she was a good cook to which I looked in one of her bags and saw a pre cooked chicken to which I said "well what kid of a co
ok are you of you buy pre cooked chicken?" She laughed at this and invited me to walk her to the door of her apartment. When we got there I said to her "hey, come have dinner with me" to which she said "really, you want to have dinner with me?" I said "well yeah". She gave me her number told me to make sure I call her to which I said I would. What made this successful I believe was some teasing along the lines of what DYD talks about as well as lots of questions about her. I also realized that once she realized I wanted to have a conversation with her when I first said hi to her she became open to talking and did. I called her the next night and we made plans for the upcoming Friday. Friday came and we went to see Red Dragon (which I did not really like). She took my arm and held it on her leg while I rubbed her thigh throughout the whole movie. After we walked for about 2 hours around downtown Toronto but did not talk about sex or fucking or blowjobs. She laughed a lot and seemed very comfortable as that was
my goal, make her feel as comfortable as possible and easy to be with. I walked her home as she lives downtown, without asking I gave her a hug and then kissed her on the lips and then on the neck. She got all flustered and bothered but I did not want to press my luck. The next day she called me twice to talk. Again I saw her for a quick lunch on Wednesday and then on Saturday she invited me over to her place where I closed the deal. What worked here was that I did not come across like a sex starved pig but rather talked about everything in equal proportion and allowed her to express herself. She said she gets approached a lot and gets lots of numbers but throws them all away and never if rarely gives away her number. When I asked her why she gave me hers she said that I made her feel comfortable by not talking about sex right away. I also did not ask her whether she wanted to fuck. Once at her place I just took her without asking and she went along with it. She also said that I conducted myself with respect
and gave her space and did not pressure her for anything. I began seeing how successful just saying hello to women can be without any cheesy lines. I said hello to about 20 women over the course of the same week and 16 of them said hello back and smiled. That is 80% of all woman I said hello to. It seems that women so much want a normal casual approach rather than the seedy approach. In all the cases where the women did respond they had an expectant look on their faces as if they expected to have a conversation. On another note, I was walking with a friend of mine at the Sherway Gardens shopping mall in Toronto and I could not believe what I saw. I saw a guy maybe in his late 40's, bald with glasses approaching young girls in their early 20's and trying to have conversations with them. I did not hear what he said but I could see he had them all laughing but none of then and I repeat not one woman stayed to talk to him and it did not seem to be due to his fading looks but more to the fact that he did not seem
aggressive or deeply engaging with them. He would say something and then smile as the women walked off laughing. Guy has balls but needs to be more aggressive and assertive.