A man always has to ask himself, what does she really mean ?

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THIS IS CLIFF'S PRIVATE LIST, A F*R*E*E* E-MAIL RELATING TO SEDUCTION

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CONTRIBUTE TO CLIFF'S LIST: To contribute to Cliff's List, please send your writings in an email to cliff@cliffslist.com with your originally written article, field report, review, or other comments. Comments from people commenting on other submissions are separated by HHHHHH with each commentator's name preceding each comment. Comments from previous emails are preceded by an ">", usually in front of that commentator's name. Feel free to forward this email to all your friends and encourage them to request a free subscription by going to www.cliffslist.com and follow instructions to "Subscribe." You can also unsubscribe on the site as well. If you would like to be added to the free joke list (and please mention if you do not want to receive the adult emails that come with the joke list), send an email to cliff@cliffslist.com. All posts you see here have been submitted by the author, or permission granted by the author to be reposted here (items that are reposted are usually ones where there was originally limited distribution or they were posted somewhere that it is more than likely that most of the readers of Cliff's List would not have seen the original posting, but we do make exceptions). All emails with comments should be sent to cliff@cliffslist.com. If you are reading this as an email, you want to go to www.cliffslist.com and see the website, which includes Lair listings (see if there is one in your city or start one if there isn't), promotional notices, seminar notices, new product and website announcements - and lots more. This email has been edited and modified to allow it to pass through the various email filters - the unedited version is on the website.

Please ensure you keep receiving our emails -- add our sending email address to your whitelist or "approved senders" lists.

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CLIFF'S LIST UPDATES:
Developments to The "Cliff's List Project" are getting much closer. The DVDs are imminent. We also will be launching some of the new features on the redone www.cliffslist.com website soon.

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EVENT ANNOUNCEMENTS:

Payton Kane:
Payton Kane Creates Playboy Mansion Type Parties!
Here is some fresh news, hot off the press. I just received an email from Payton with a big announcement:

"I got a mini mansion in the burbs - I call it the Seduce & Conquer Mansion! LOL. It’s 4200 Sq ft, 2 story, 3 floors with a massive swimming pool and waterfall. Now that’s not the big news… The big news is that I plan on throwing Playboy style parties at least once a month starting in July! I’m talking strippers, bartenders, waitresses, models and questionable babes from all over Toronto! LOL! And, I plan on turning it into one BIG seminar and party event. So it would be like a Playboy party, pick up training weekend where guys would come from all over (maximum of 20) They would get an in class seminar during the day, (in class meaning by the pool!) then a stripper or nightclub seminar Friday night followed by an in-class, how to work the party, seminar on Saturday and then the big party Saturday night! I hope to have at least 30 to 40 hot girls at the party so there would be at least one girl for every guy and 10 for you and me! LMAO. And, it would be Playboy Style with stripper poles outside, girls jumping in the pool, getting naked, the works! AND the best part is I would only charge a very reasonable amount for the entire weekend! … Brilliant baby!
I think I will be the first and only coach to throw Playboy Style Parties, focusing on teaching guys how to approach women, and how to talk to women in order to pick up and score. It would be a tremendous learning experience and a hell of a lot of fun in the process. I think it’s a genius idea! And will allow us to play, enjoy and learn all at once. As you know I have always said that seduction and pick up training should be the most fun a person could have. I think this will be a huge hit even bigger than my Cancun and Dominican Seminars because its cheap and doesn’t take up much time. After all its only for a weekend."

For details on the next party (the first one is sold out!), which will be held the weekend of August 24-26, go to: www.seduceandconquer.com/guys/cliff1.html

Steve P:

Check out www.schoolofstevep.com/ to learn about Steve's new seminar that will be held in Germany July 25-26-27. Guest speakers include Cameron Teone, Johnny Soporno and Zan.

DJ:
DJ: STORYTELLING: A community old-timer, you might know DJ from his days at Mystery Method, his current work at Stylelife, his special appearances at Cliff's List 2005 and 2006, and on Master the Vibe. DJ has decided to once again teach his Personal Storytelling Seminar, on June 28 & 29, in New York City. You will learn how to convey your identities and life experiences in a genuine, strong, and attractive way through storytelling in language that excites and captivates women. You will also learn how to let go of negative past experiences and fears which are holding you back so that you can allow your best self to shine brightly. This program is about how you tell your personal story. If you've been looking to take that next step and start truly connecting with women for who you are, you won't want to miss this. And there are some very special guest speakers planned. Learn more at: www.storytellingforguys.com

Grant Adams:
David Deida LIVE.
You've read his books, The Way of The Superior Man and Intimate Communion. You've heard David D, Grant Adams, AMP, Lance and every teacher seriously interested in deeply-rooted masculine core strength recommend his work. He blew away the Toronto Lair and came away praising the PUA community for being SERIOUS about genuine change, whereas, as he said, most other people just yammer about transformation but do nothing and keep failing. Now, David Deida is leading Weekend Intensives: 150 men and women together, face to face. Interactive, no b.s., balls-to-the-wall breakthrough workshops. These workshops WILL sell out, as they always do. To learn more and get on the priority list, go to www.deidaevents.com/

Real Social Dynamics:
RSD has two bootcamps planned for Montreal, as well as others across Canada. They are planning to be in Montreal on June 27-29 and on August 15-17. For more details, go to www.realsocialdynamics.com/

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TO SEE THE PROMOS FOR THIS EMAIL, INCLUDING LISTS OF NEW EBOOKS, DVD & CD PRODUCTS, SEMINARS, ETC., CLICK HERE!!

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El Greco (www.torontolair.ca):
How to Create the El Greco Kiss Necklace

This is a tool used during a kiss gambit to change the frame to something more playful:

“I'm not going to kiss you! I'm going to GIVE you SOMETHING EVEN BETTER. Have you ever had a ‘kiss necklace?’ Well let me show you...”

Act like a mime pulling an invisible “string of kisses” out of your mouth. Pretend to tie it in a knot, and place it around her neck. Really put on a show! Practice first in front of a mirror, if necessary. Be sure to smile.

"There. You look so beautiful!"

Congratulations! You've just created an invisible anchor to wrap your energy around her! Come back later if needed and pretend to “adjust” the necklace.

The kiss necklace has never failed for me. I rarely use it, and it is in good need of a comeback tour. I trust you guys will put it to good use. Feel free to add it to your routine arsenal. Try it out in the field and report back to me. Enjoy.

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Jason King (www.makeoutmastery.com/):

In the past, when I would make excuses not to approach a woman, I would usually tell myself things like:

- She probably has a boyfriend.
- She probably wouldn't be interested in me anyway.
- What if she's with that guy right there and he gets violent with me?

Well, the third one actually came into play tonight. Here's what happened:

My friend invited me to my first Red Sox game. We had fantastic seats right behind the catcher, the Sox scored 5 runs in the first inning, and my friend even caught one of the foul balls. This was shaping up to be a great night, and it got even better as I made my way up the stairs in search of some fried dough with lots of powdered sugar.

THEN I SAW HER...

As I neared the top of the stairs, I made eye contact with this beautiful brunette with sparkling, light blue eyes. She met my gaze and held it as I continued to walk right past her. She was looking straight up at me. If that's not an approach invitation, I don't know what is.

I don't know why I didn't say anything to her right then, but I didn't, and I was beating myself up for it afterwards. So on the way back, I passed her going down the stairs. She was in conversation with her father, who was sitting next to her.

I felt weird about approaching while she was talking to her father, so I brushed my hand across her shoulder to let her know that I was interested. I looked back at her to make sure she got the message. She was looking right at me, and I assumed that I'd be able to make the connection later in the game.

BUT I WAS DEAD WRONG...

On the way up the stairs as we were leaving, I locked eyes with her again. I started to say, "Hey, I wanted to talk to you earlier, but my friend...."

What followed was almost surreal.

The same woman who was giving me the "fuck me" eyes 45 minutes earlier was now slinking away from me.

And as I was thinking to myself, “What the fuck…” I felt a hand forcefully shoving me away. I looked up and I saw her angry, belligerent father, who was ready to fight me. I honestly didn't get what his problem was. He pushed me a couple times, and I raised my fists to do some damage. My adrenaline had kicked in, I had the higher ground, and I'm betting that I've been in more fights than this asshole. He didn't stand a chance.

But then his teenage son stepped in front of him and said, "It's okay, just go, dude." To be honest, I wanted to stay and fight, but I didn't want any trouble with the police, and I didn't really want to embarrass a protective dad in front of his family. Still, this fucker pushed me, and I wish that I had gotten at least one shot off before walking away.

CONCLUSION

Afterwards, I felt good for going back and finishing what I had started with the woman, but I also felt a little weak for letting this cock smoker push me a few times without hitting him in the grill—even if the pushes were weak and one-handed.

What I did notice, however, was that the feeling of beating myself up for not approaching was gone. I felt better much better after this incident than I did before, because at least I gave it a shot.

You never know when some jerk is going to get in your face, but honestly, it really wasn't that bad. My guess was that the girl lost interest (and respect) when I didn't say something to her after we first locked eyes, and that my touching her as I walked by made her uncomfortable enough to mention it to her father.

So I don't blame him, because he doesn't know me. He just sees me as an older man (she was probably 19, and I'm 32) trying to touch his daughter. I probably would have done the same thing with the information he had.

So what am I left with? It's better to just go for it in the moment rather than trying to make up for a missed opportunity later on. Also, as scary as this story might sound to some people, I dealt with it just fine, and I didn't end up hurting anyone or getting hurt myself.

Keep approaching, guys. These situations are rare. I never feel bad about the opportunities that I actually go for, but I almost always feel bad about the ones I let slip away due to inaction.

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pzn_player:
FR: She asked ME on a date?

I recently started this great class, which I only registered for a week after I started taking it. There’s this girl (call her HBheadlips—she has awesome lips if you know what I mean.) I knew her from last semester, we had spoken once or twice about criminal law, flirted a bit. Nothing special.

On the first day, I’m talking to another girl (HBunattractive—sociable and fun.) HBheadlips arrives as I’m talking to her. She comes up and asks me if I’m in the class, and I say no, because I’m not registered yet. I tell her I know she'd love it if I was in the class with her, but I’m not sure I would.

Fast forward a week. The room is packed, and the teacher is angry because people are sitting on each other and shit. At some point, the teacher asks, "Is anyone here not registered for this class?" HBheadlips looks at me. I give her the "what the fuck do you want" look. She asks if I’m registered. I whisper "Ya, got a problem?" She gets offended and gives me the FINGER. Whatever. I don't make excuses for my behavior when I know it's right. A strong man's ego is never affected by a woman.

She’s frowning the whole period. I’m talking to HBunattractive next to me and having a good time. Then I decide to send HBheadlips a note, since she's just sitting 3 seats away.

I write:

SMILE HBheadlips Razz
Life is too short to frown!
...and stop giving me the finger nn||nn (fuck-you-drawing)

As soon as she receives it, she cracks up. I'm happy, because I put a smile on someone's face...feels great to shift someone's mood!

She writes a response:

Hey you!
Why are you so rude?
I am already smiling. So you do have this class? It's ok, I still like you.
nn||nn

She sent me the fuck-you sign after I told her not to! And she says I "still" like you. HAHA. No woman wins when she plays games with pzn_player. (Ok, there goes my ego again.)

I send her a final note:

You gotta stop taking everything seriously!
I'm glad you like me
I'm also glad I made you smile
Let this be the last note we send each other, because the other students are becoming jealous
nn||nn? Fuck me?? I know you want to

Ok, let's review. What happened here?

The first line: "You gotta stop taking everything seriously." I don't apologize for my behavior. It's HER fault she takes herself seriously.

The second line: "I’m glad you like me." I know she wants me.

The third line: "I’m glad I made you smile." I acknowledge being the external cause of her mood shifting.

The fourth line: "Let this be the last note" I control the interaction. I decide WHEN the note-exchange is over.

The fifth line: "Fuck me? I know you want to." She has the nerve to say "fuck you," so I make it clear I know she wants me.

Anyway, when she receives the note, she turns redder than ketchup. I think I’ve touched her real deep inside—somewhere called the pussy. She gives me a sexual look. I ignore her and keep talking to HBunattractive.

At the end of class, I’m still talking to HBunattractive, and I focus on the conversation. I know HBheadlips is waiting for me to look at her. She waves goodbye. I act as if I don't know she's leaving.

She comes sneaking up behind me....leans down...looks at me....and kisses me on the cheek...next to the lips. Then she goes for another kiss. I only give her one good kiss on her left cheek.

She says, "I like you." I respond, "I know."

Damn...I feel like the WOMAN! I never in my life thought women chased, but it's what they do best.

So she leaves. I come home, log onto Facebook. She sent me a message.

"Hey you got anything Friday night? We can do something."

I message her a day later telling her she's lucky because I got my early evening free, but I can't stay very late.

This is what I call game. One year ago, I never thought this would be possible. I'm learning every day and loving the game. Moral of the story: She got what you want, you got what she NEED.

So something fucking hilarious...she’s supposed to show up at my place at 8:30 sharp. I go to the lobby at 8:35 and she’s not there. So I come back upstairs, and who do I see?

One of the neighbors I fucked. She's a waitress at a Strip Club. I've left several messages behind her door and she just doesn't make contact with me. She acts like an aloof dumbass.

I tell her very calmly (I’ve just meditated) "So, what's the deal with not answering your door when I knock, and not answering any of my messages?"

Her: You knocked?
Me: You gotta come up with something better than that. I ain't stupid girl. You like playing the game don't you?
Her: Haha
Me: Baby, you got no game.
Her: Haha. (At this point, I just grab her fucking coat—pure caveman. I pull her towards me and look her deep in the eyes as if I want to kiss her...and SHE kisses ME. Nice.)
Me: Not so fast. You don't deserve kisses.
Her: Shut up.
Me: I'm not some loser you see at strip club. I'm the best guy who'll come along, so you better treat me like a king, haha.
Her: Haha...what are you doing tonight?
Me: (FUCK! In retrospect, the threesome thing would not have worked. I had NO comfort from the other girl.) I'm meeting this friend from school. But we'll get together for tea soon. You have to open your door, though.
Her: I will.
Me: Come here, pinky swear.

But the best part is, the other girl was waiting downstairs with some dessert in her hands for 20 minutes while I'm talking to this chick....so she COMES UPSTAIRS because someone opened the door for her! If she had been one minute earlier, she would have seen me kissing the waitress! This was too much. I wanna get caught sometime. I'll say "Don't be jealous, just come join the fun."

(By the way, the waitress told me she's REALLY into threesomes, and that she loves girls and shit....so that will happen soon.)

Anyway, on with my date...

Quite hot this girl. Very nice booty. But she had this rule: no kissing guys she isn't involved with. It was hard getting used to that, since I love kissing, but I played by her rules and told her I respect her for having rules. Whenever they act bitchy, I always use the word "RESPECT."

The story was simple. She wanted me, but I did get LMR. I tend to get LMR as soon as I get needy, as soon as I start chasing and reaching out too much. As long as she's chasing a bit more than me, I don’t get LMR.

Here's how it went:

She brought the desserts, a creme brulee, a mousse au fromage, and an opera. I made her the best shisha ever, and I had rented the new Kevin Bacon movie "Death Sentence," which was pretty good.

She kept telling me throughout the night how she didn't know anything about me, so I told her all about my trip, about all the things I do: Swedish massage, salsa, calligraphy, cuisine, etc.

She asked me what I wanted, if I was looking for a girlfriend or a fuck-friend.

Me: I don't put the people in my life into categories.
Her: But are you looking for a girlfriend right now, or do you just want to fuck?
Me: You know, I really enjoy the spark of connection we have between us. (Even though there ain’t no fucking connection.)
Her: Hmm...yeah...
Me: We have to take care of that connection, like a little baby who's just come to life. I'm sure you'd make a great girlfriend, but you have to have the qualities I'm looking for in a woman. It's hard to get me as a boyfriend.
Her: But you will tell me if I have the qualities, right?
Me: Honesty is my #1 rule.
Her: Ok!

When the movie ended, I still hadn't kissed her. I didn't want to act desperate and in need.
When LMR came up, I even told her directly...

Me: I'm not desperate. If I want to fuck, all I have to do make is a phone call. The only reason I would want us to get intimate is to develop that tiny bond that already exists between us…

Damn guys, all this romantic stuff is driving me insane. I'm naturally very romantic, but these days I don't WANT to be exclusive. I think all this "status" bullshit should be talked about AFTER sex, not before.

So I kissed her a bit, and she didn’t reciprocate because of her rule. I caressed her—still no reciprocation.

FREEZE THE FUCK OUT.

I pretended I was falling asleep (This is the best, by the way. It always gets them chasing.) Then she started caressing me. Latin music started playing. She said, "Hahaha, let's dance naked."

Women don't say anything just for the sake of saying it. A man always has to ask himself, what does she really mean?

So I got up and I ripped her clothes off. Pure caveman. She said, "I was joking!" I said, "I know."

She told me I had to get naked, too. I said, "Since when does the man get naked? You can take off my pants, if you want.” So she took them off. We danced...damn it was fun, grinding with no clothes on... pretty damn sensual!

We got back on the bed and spent an hour or so just talking, kissing, and touching. I told her, "I'm so glad we're not rushing into sex, because I'd much rather have you go home and imagine me fucking you just how you want it...just as deep as you want it....just as hard and you want it…throbbing inside of you...thinking of me.”

She got angry because I kept saying she wanted me.

Her: Why do you think I want you so bad?
Me: I don't think you want me so bad, I KNOW you want me so bad
Her: Arrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

So we just cuddled for a bit, we moved around, she got on top. I began dry-fucking her.
And the rest just happened. The first time with a girl is never the best, because you're just discovering yourselves. But I think, over time, sex with this girl can become the bomb.

The most interesting thing was, after the sex, I asked her THE question:

When were you first attracted to me? What made you attracted?

She thought about it a lot and said, "It was in class, when you sat next to me and explained to me your theory on life. I felt this strength you had. I felt right away, something is going to happen with this guy, I don't know what, but something will happen.”

I've worked so hard to get my game to this level. I remember reading these LRs when I was a newbie and feeling like everyone was getting laid but me. For those of you who feel that way, realize that this is a slow process, a transformation. After awhile, it becomes ingrained in your belief system. I won't lie to you when I say that I SINCERELY believe I'm one of the most attractive guys in the city—if not THE most. And yes, I let her know =)

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IceDragon (www.scotlandlair.co.uk/lifestyle):

Debunking the Myth of the Routine

I have lost count of the number of guys I’ve winged in set who hit a high and get a good reaction from girls, and then attribute it to the super, amazing, magic routine they’ve just used. When I’ve turned around and told them, “It wasn’t the routine. She was into you, and you would have had similar success even without the routine,” the guy just looks at me as if I’m stupid.

Blasphemy.

Sacrilege.

How could I doubt the Routine?

Isn’t the Routine the essence of the “game?”

I always explain that if I open up a set, and throw that routine in, chances are that I won’t get an amazing reaction. Why?
Because it all comes down to context, calibration and sensitivity.

Let’s take a glance at some basic psychology.

In 1948, the influential American behavioral psychologist, B.F. Skinner, conducted an interesting experiment. He placed pigeons in glass tanks, and attached to each tank a feeder that dispensed bread every fifteen seconds. Skinner monitored the birds, and observed that the pigeons were actively trying to work out how the food was released. Although it was arriving automatically, an early drop would occur when the bird made a particular gesture, such as bobbing its head (or shouting, “Drop some bread, Mr. Skinner!”) Consequently, the pigeons assumed that their actions had made the food drop, so they kept performing this routine even though it had absolutely no effect on the drop rate!

In another experiment, Skinner put up a digital scoreboard and got human participants to pull 3 levers. He told the participants that if they pulled the levers in a certain sequence, they were more likely to get points. But this wasn't true: the points were awarded completely at random. Nevertheless, each of the participants “discovered” a sequence which they swore resulted in a higher score.

I advise anyone remotely interested in the art of seduction to study some of Skinner’s pioneering work on human behavior!

The mistaken belief that “routines” or “sequences” work affects nearly everyone’s game. If you repeatedly go up to girls and ask them, “Who lies more, men or women?” and conduct a proper statistical observation of your results, after a few sets, you will find that you don't actually have that much success. In fact, you may have very little success. But because occasionally you are rewarded (by getting laid) you think that it works consistently.

So I encourage you guys to use a more natural approach instead of using canned routines. If you have developed canned routines that work consistently for you, then by all means, use them. However, if you take the time to analyze your results and you find routines are only working for you sporadically, then I suggest a more natural, balanced, and holistic approach to seduction.

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Johnny Soporno (www.ss4g.com - Be sure to read the captions!)

"Inner Game" is a convenient euphemism for having a "Satisfied Sense of Self." The more richly developed you are AS A PERSON, the less crafty and manipulative you need to be as a Player.

To be a “Worthy Playboy,” you must develop yourself as a Renaissance Man. You should endeavor to gain a broad base of knowledge about subjects in which people who interest you are well-versed. You should be confident enough to have conversations with women on topics you previously knew nothing about, by candidly and sincerely encouraging them to share THEIR insights with you.

NEVER FORGET: everyone's favorite subject is themselves. NOTHING makes you more attractive to another person than being INTERESTED in what they have to say. This works for men and women alike, but women are far more impressed when they receive this attention from men (since most men are too arrogant to concede they might not know everything...schmucks.)

Never be ashamed of NOT KNOWING, because A) no one can know everything, and B) women will be DELIGHTED that you aren’t intimidated by their knowing something you don't. They will be flattered that you're man enough to let them teach you something.

Wrap your mind around this, and everything else will make sense to you: Inner Game isn't something you’re taught. It isn't something you study. It's something you must EARN. And the irony is, ONLY YOU can award it to yourself.

Self-confidence is like freedom: You must EARN it. It can't be bought, borrowed, stolen, or given away. When freedom is GIVEN to you, it’s ACTUALLY abandonment. Think about it!

So by earning your own respect, and satisfying yourself that you are becoming more fully realized with each new experience you have, you begin TRULY to like yourself.

As you progress, you will become comfortable that ANY PERSON (man or woman) with whom you interact will be better off for knowing you (even if it's simply because you’ve proven to them that GOOD MEN still exist, and find THEM interesting) and that they will feel better about themselves from having spent time with you.

Most of all, you must become SELF-ACTUALIZED. In other words, you must find comfort with yourself from successfully following your own path, and NOT narcissistically through the approval of others. Permitting yourself to be held back from progress because you fear the disapproval of people you don't look up to is CRAZY!

If you ONLY DO THE THINGS WHICH MAKE SENSE TO YOU, in which you find yourself BOTH cerebrally and emotionally settled, and in which your conscience is comforted, you are acting with REASONED CONFIDENCE. This is the rational way of leading your life. Follow this internal guideline and you'll NEVER have reason for regret or justification for embarrassment, EVEN if things don't work out immediately. Step back for the experience and return to the plan to see if the problem was situational or persistent. Then modify your plan as necessary before trying again.

The only guilt you should EVER feel is the guilt of letting yourself down; the ONLY embarrassment, the embarrassment of repeating the same mistakes.

Once you lead your own life, making all your decisions with reasoned confidence, if you meet with disapproval from “the peanut gallery,” simply take note of it—then DO as you will, and watch as your detractors become your admirers.

After that, it will not matter how impressive or novel the interlopers seem to be, the people who TRULY matter to you will never go far. They will know a good thing when they see it, and will be unwilling to let you go.

Sometimes, they will meet someone who is YOUR peer, and you should greet that person as a friend, expecting that they will respect your territorial claim. Or perhaps your girl has been approached by someone even further developed than you are.* THOSE players have much better things on their minds than cuckolding junior players who are clearly on the noble path. There are PLENTY of beautiful girls to go around.

*(In this case, be respectful, disarming, and appreciative to the more established Playboy. He will immediately catch on, and become your wingman out of respect—for he EARNED HIS INNER GAME TOO, and Game knows Game. Respect is your most powerful tool. Be cautious not to give it out undeservedly, or it devalues. But don't EVER make the mistake of withholding it from the deserving, or YOU demonstrate yourself unworthy, and you won't appreciate how things will go from there.)

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Dane (www.superchargedgame.com):

Turning Down the Volume Knob, an Observation

So you've all heard the little analogy about men being a light switch and women being a volume knob. This is pretty much true. While sexual tension can be fun for us guys, we ultimately don't need it. We can go from zero to sex instantly. Women, on the other hand, generally need to be turned up gradually.

Something a lot of guys don't realize is that this is also true AFTER sex. That volume knob should be gradually turned back down. When I'm with a girl, I ALWAYS try to last longer than her in her a "sexual time frame.”

See, to a man, sex begins when you put it in her, and ends when you get off. To a woman, however, sex begins MUCH sooner—sometimes even a few hours before sex. And it doesn't end when the guy gets off. They want to cool down.

Basically, I do the same thing I do during foreplay in reverse, minus the oral, slow and relaxed. Keeping my bedroom eyes and maintaining good eye contact, occasionally looking at her body and smiling, I gently run my fingers all over her as I kiss her stomach, making my way up to her breasts, which I'm very gentle with (remember, I'm cooling her down here,) then her neck, and finally a little kissing on the lips.

Then I tell her something about her that I really liked, something that really stood out. Something genuine. After all, sex is the ultimate compliance, so I have to give her something positive for that (other than, of course, the privilege of being with me.) The whole process can take just a few minutes, depending on how sensual you want to be.

The point of posting this, however, has nothing to do with the above technique or its effects. Rather, it's what I notice about my mental state—what runs through my head as I’m doing this.

While I look all cool and smooth on the outside, while I milk this Don Juan soft-touch-and-kisses afterplay stuff (solidifying my place as "best" or, at least, "most memorable” lover,) something quite different is going on in my head. I have to work to focus on the task at hand. Remember, I'm a light switch. As soon as I get off, I’m flipped.

I start my "afterplay" about 10 seconds after I get off, and here's what I notice...

10 seconds after I get off, I can look at her and see the emotions going through her.

10 seconds after I get off, I can see her looking into my eyes with a calm passion.

10 seconds after I get off, I can see her glowing.

10 seconds after I get off, I can tell she is still drifting back from euphoria.

10 seconds after I get off, I can see her coming from a state of ecstasy to one of peace and tranquility.

And 10 seconds after I get off, what goes through my head?

"Man, biscuits and gravy sounds fucking good right now"

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