At some point she really looks like she's gonna die or something
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Dr. Yen: LR
- I Took a Beating and Got Shat OnMilachku: LR
: N-Y-C...1-2-3-SOME!Ryan: Using Pauses to Amp the Vibe - Silence is Golden
Wing
Girls are going to be giving a very special free tele-seminar exclusive to Cliff's List readers. You can listen live or download later. You can can also submit any questions you have that require a female's perspective. The tele-seminar will be held on Sunday the 14th of September at 5 pm Pacific Standard Time (8 pm EST). More info here: www.winggirlmethod.com/cliffslist/ (watch for the pop up!)
's from all around the world are lined up to reveal their secrets. Amongst them are AFC Adam, Gambler, Zan, Johnny Soporno, Sean Messenger and Sebastian Drake. It will be the community event of the year, where PUAs gather from all around the world to meet up, learn, and get inspired. An ideal opportunity to make new international friends, check out the city of Amsterdam with its vibrant nightlife, and of course meet the beautiful Dutch women! Though all speakers will present in English, you can rent headphones and listen to a live translation in the language of your choice: Dutch, Spanish, Italian, German or French. For our international guests, we made a special deal with StayOKAY hostels: for just 75 EU (about $112) extra on top of the ticket price, you can have a place to stay for two nights (arrival on Friday September 19th and departure on Sunday the 21st) including a breakfast and lunch package for both days together. You won't find such a cheap place to stay anywhere else in Amsterdam! By now you are probably wondering what such an event would cost. Attending workshops or seminars with all these speakers would normally cost you thousands of dollars. What do you think we charge? $1000? $750? You will be surprised. The price at the door is just 297 EU (about $445 USD) for the whole weekend. On top of that, for the first 500 early birds we offer a price as low as 195 EU ($292) per ticket. Check our impressive list of speakers and all further additional info at our website: www.realmanconference.com/
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material, and leave your audience emotionally touched. And, on October 24-26th, 2008, 30 men will join me in one of the most exciting cities in the world--Las Vegas--to learn how to effectively convey the cool guy that's inside you, and do it in a way that speaks to a woman's Core Attraction Triggers. We are offering a $200 early bird discount for members of Cliff's List. Be sure to get it while it's available! Find out more here: www.storytellingforguys.com/30.htm
My friend Jonathan and I are going to be hosting a 2-hour workshop on September 17 here in NYC: www.thesocialman.com/programs/style-and-substance-workshop/ No cost - just a $20 deposit - refundable upon your arrival.
Image Consulting:www.daviddstudents.com/files/Brent2008.mp3
2)They also offer an interview with The Dean (Uncle Ruckus) but that one will be removed Sept. 16th so get there fast:
www.daviddstudents.com/files/DeanInterview.mp3
How I Broke My Plateau
I've done well for myself lately after a long period of frustration. Here are some things that got me off my plateau:
Going out: I've gone out for the last 30 nights in a row. There's nothing like solid field experience. My preferred venues are pool halls, karaoke bars, restaurants, house parties, live music shows, pubs. Don't neglect day game. It's easy, it's everywhere, and it's free.
The Blueprint: this is an amazing product. He solidified a lot of concepts I already knew but couldn't articulate. State control being my holy grail…I couldn't find it. Letting strong, positive energy flow, giving constant value, controlling ego, complete un-neediness, following your path. This helped me understand my own value, and I'm a better person for it. Great stuff.
Looking for eye contact: JW South taught me this. It upped my success rate a great deal. It's not critical, but an invitation always helps.
Escalation: I've heard this from a few senior guys on the board. Let escalation create attraction. Take the extra step, push the limit of the interaction. This is not for newbies. My problem was I was trying to "get" her into me. So if I escalated, it would bomb. But once you learn state control, escalation becomes natural.
You have to come from a present state of complete un-neediness. You have to be radiating positive energy. When you are glowing and in state, people flock to you like moths to a flame. Don't resist your present state. If you don't feel happy, accept that you feel this way and move forward anyway.
Uplift those around you. Sing "Kumbaya," give dance lessons, bring the party and don't ask for anything in return.
Take risks.
Let the girls choose you. This is a funny phenomenon. You can open the interaction, you can plow, but in the end, the girl must choose you. The best way to achieve this result is not to want anything from anybody. It's your job to escalate, not chase.
Get yourself in state! This is critical. Sing, jump, dance, laugh out loud, smile. Get yourself ready to rock. Breath in deep and let your blood become oxygenated. Do this and you will have to beat them off with your magic wand.
Last night I was out partying with a large group of women. I asked them to buy me beer, so one said, "It's ok…he's not trying to pick us up!" Then they put me on the bar tab, gave me dance lessons, had a photo op, and I collected all their numbers. Then my Wing and I went home with the hottest girl (and her fat friend.)
Be a sexual being…but don't give away your power for free. You are made to fuck, not flirt.
Have fun.
LR
- I Took a Beating and Got Shat OnAfter the LSS bootcamp, I was all charged up and ready to try Lord Mega's "Meat and Potato" stuff, so off I went to Tiger Tiger.
Classy bastard, I know ;)
The only con of Meat and Potato is that there is a fair potential to lose your first choice to someone who's a quick extractor, or simply lose sight of her before she leaves. Nothing a good old cup of Abundance Mentality won't solve :)
But what really sold it to me was its simplicity, and the ego-less way in which he explained it. I'm a big, big fan of mixing and matching styles, and that's just how I went on to pull off my best and most against-all-odds PU to date.
This was, to say, one of my "Matrix" moments, a PU Epiphany. I want to share it with you all. You made it possible, after all...
It's around Midnight, and I'm screening my options. I've been opening with whatever felt best at the time: direct, indirect, situational, who lies more (mmmh, no, maybe not ;)), till I walk past a hot blonde about my height (with platforms, hehe) wearing a low cut top displaying mouth-watering cleavage. She has blue eyes as well, so it neatly fits my New Year's Resolution (blondes only.)
:: Excuse me?: OMG, and is that what you go around saying to all the girls?: Look, that was just bad. How many girls have you used it with already? (reluctantly): "HB.”, she's not having any of it. Bitch shield is enormous. I partly put myself in that situation with the directness of my approach, but backing off by going tamer, or qualifying myself to her by saying, "No, really, it's not a line, I've never used it before," would have reeked of incongruence, and I'd have been out in no time anyway. So I thought I might as well enjoy myself and see where it goes...
She backturns me, walks away, starts talking to another guy. In retrospect, I don't see the point in ploughing, I could have just walked off and gone for a friendlier chick, but: A) I didn't know she was unfriendly, she just had a certain reaction to my unusual approach, B) the voices told me to stay, and C) I like a challenge ;)
So I proceed systematically to meet all of her friends, chat to them, and they like me. I like this new thing I've learned, not to be weird , it's really cool! :P
She's chatting to this guy for ages, a few feet away from me. I stay put. Eventually she comes to sit down near me, but at a funny angle so I have to talk to her over my shoulder. Her body language is closed, she's wary, but I can tell the voices are telling her to stay, too. She reluctantly listens to them.
I eventually get her to open up when she starts talking to me about her LTR back in Sweden.
Now I know a lot of guys who are undoubtedly better than me will tell you just to ignore it and move on - "Yeah, cool. You know, I have a niece..." and it will probably work once she starts buying into your strong frame (if you have one.) But at first, they'll smell what you're trying to do from a mile off, and you'll find yourself 3 squares back before you move forward again. I find that way a little careless and apathetic. I like to play the empathy card. After all, I am a romantic and emotional man, and I wouldn't want to separate from that side of me for anything in the world, especially now that I've finally gotten in touch with it and learned to show it to people for them to appreciate it if they so wish.
SO I have come up with my own way of dealing with it:
Waaait - I can see you getting all excited, thinking I've invented some new Axis of Evil ninja shit that will up your game to the next level 65 Boss...
Well, I haven't. Sorry.
Tit for Tat is logic. It's common sense. I just shamelessly like to rebrand things, and miserably try to take credit for them. Industry standard, I guess ;)
"LOOK IN AWE, OH INFIDELS, FOR THE TIT FOR TAT OF GLORY HAS COME TO SAVE YOU."
It even has "TIT" in it, for God's sake, what better name could I find for it?
Anyway, as that might suggest, if she wants to talk about the love of her life, that's cool with me.
But I WILL retaliate.
After all, there are a heartbreaking TWO loves in my life.
No shit (that comes later.)
So I let her talk, and then tell her about my ex, and how even after years have passed, we still love each other mental and know we belong to each other, albeit knowing we can never be together. Bit like Romeo and Juliet.
And that's just the first.
Then comes the one that I've been negotiating getting back together with all weekend, whom I was meant to have my kids with, and who wants to split up from her BF.
She wants feelings and doomed love stories? She fucking gets them.
Bang. I'm in. Now she tells me she does fuck other guys. BIN-fuckin-GO! For some reason, this wouldn't even have registered in my head before, but now all I can hear is "I'm hungry for a big chunk of Italian meat," however she's phrasing it.
2 tequila girls come to us, one whom I've been wanting to bang since last year (and promise to post a LR about soon) who sells me a shot at cost, and the other who just pours tequila and lime straight into my mouth. For free.
Now, that's what I like to call Social-fucking-Proof :D
I'm enjoying running this Set so much 'cause it's the hardest I've ever done, and I'm finally seeing the Matrix: the hoops, the shit-tests, the IOIs, the comfort - for the first time it all makes sense. I know what is what. Turns out she's cool, well-traveled, has a sense of humor, and likes kinky sex. * I liiike*
3 times her friends try to take her away, but she stays. That's a personal best. I always lost girls by having them dragged away from me. I'm so proud of and happy about this I'm not even thinking about sex. Whatever I get from here on is a bonus.
One turning point is when I tell her I'm glad I got through her BS and got her to show me her nice, interesting side, although at first I thought she was a twat. That really gets a reaction. It's a new type of reaction I haven't had before: somehow incomplete and needing a catalyst to be either good or bad, because it's neither on its own. So I become the catalyst and steer it in the good place, by explaining to her how the approach feels from my perspective.
She lights up.
I tell her we'll make lunch together, cook a course each.
: YET... epiphany: exorcising the demon of THE WAIT
She has to go to the toilet. Now waiting is what always fucked with me. I feel awkward, anxious and uncomfortable. If I stay, I look too eager/needy/like a poodle; if I go I might lose her. I cycled endlessly between the former and the latter without ever finding peace.
The answer I found? It's a fucking joke: it's no big deal.
No, for real. She's invested way too much, no way she'll disappear. Think: when your mate goes for a piss, how much thought do you give it? That's right, motherfuckers, NONE. That's 'cause you know he's GONE FOR A PISS. And when he's back, you'll have forgotten about it and resume your conversation.
So I stay put, smiling. She comes back, we talk some more...and...
KA-FUCKING-BOOM!!!
Yeah, that's right, her friend grabs her arm and yanks her off the seat. Gone.
[Insert 45 mins in Set and grinding an American with great tits whom I lose by biting her ear (thk fuk!)]
I'm at the bar and I see her walking toward her friend, but in a hesitating way. So I reach over, grab her wrist as tight as it goes without breaking it, and pull her to me. Yes, believe it or not I always lose Sets 'cause I'm not dominant enough. Well this is the end of that shit.
: Do you always just grab girls like that?: Do they still serve drinks?...blahblahblahFrom here it all comes down to the Fine Art of not fucking it up. Which is usually where I fuck it up.
I now let her go back to her friend, they're dancing only meters away, and Nick tells me she's glancing over all the time. We make a plan to go get food (classic:)) and when she goes to get her coat I give her my ticket as well. I'm Italian, I don't do queues - they're a limiting belief.
Her friend is trying to cockblock me heavily. When we come out she wants to go home, but insists two guys are following us, so I take each of the girls under my arms and tell her we're putting her on the bus before we go for food. One guy harasses her for her number, and when I see she's uncomfortable, I tell him to leave. Now she likes me = no more cockblock ;)
A lot of people ask me about this, and we use it in a different way than the old-school MM: it's a screening process against your high standards. Qualification isn't just a series of questions, it's more like a vibe. When you've hit it, you know, 'cause it's unstoppable. It just feels natural and flows with the convo. When you've hit it, automatically every question you ask her is subconsciously taken as qualification. So it really doesn't matter where you start from, it could be something small like, “Are you still friends with your old schoolmates?" or something bigger like, "Do you swallow, or are you a lousy spitter?"
What works best for me is building a ladder, making the hoops bigger and bigger, and rewarding her for jumping thru them. After awhile, she'll have invested so much, she'll lie through her teeth if need be in order to satisfy my high standards.
Like in a game of poker, the more you chip in, the less likely you are to want to pass later.
The bigger the hoops she jumps, the higher your value goes. But that's not where it ends. This is where it gets interesting. Now you could just leave her where she is and show off all your value, or you can take her up to your level as you rise. That way, she feels you have the super-power of raising her value. You become her source of validation. In the long term you really don't wanna fill that role, but for flash Game, it's gold.
That's a lot of theory and a lot of work, Doc, but what the fuck is it for?
I'll tell what it's for: if you do this properly and consistently, you better still be living with your mum, or go buy some needles and thread - 'cause you'll have a lot of buttons to sew back on your shirts in the morning ;D
I'm not talking TOKEN LMR, I'm talking her ripping your clothes off. These days if I get the faintest hint of LMR, I turn around and get some good old sleep. Really.
Sit down.
She's starving. As we're walking towards the food place:
: Mmmh, yeah, I suppose...: Ok.We don't even make it upstairs.
"I've never been so wet in my life...I've never had sex like this before...” At the 3rd "I've never..." I stick my cock in her mouth.
: It better be clean! - PRICELESS!! :DAbout an hour and several chunks of meat later, we actually make it to my bedroom. It's broad daylight by now, and she's going apeshit being on top. I ask her if she likes the finger.
She says "Naughty!"
Naughty = Yes.
She keeps checking how wet she is and saying she can't believe it, and at some point she really looks like she's gonna die or something...
...something...
She starts howling and sweating and goes an unusual shade of red that I've never seen before. Then just before she starts spasming, she says she's feeling really weird, and that I ought to be careful not to trigger "other reflexes," which - I wish I'd known better - sounds good to me. So I keep mercilessly liquidising her ovaries till her face starts sweating like she has malaria and she stops, with her head tilted backwards. Reminds me of The Exorcist a bit, and that kinda makes it sexier in a way I can't explain.
She's saying this mantra: "Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God."
I think I might have overdone it a bit this time, but in a way that feels good, since I'm in tatters as well. Good old reciprocation. Thanks, Robert Cialdini 8)
She climbs off and goes to the bathroom, and as I'm laying there with my cock looking at me with a sad face, I smell an unusual smell. But I can't quite figure out where it comes from. It's coming from everywhere, and as I can see my poor cock gagging for some fresh air, I reach out to pull the condom off, only to notice something unusual at the base on my dear friend...
Something brownish...
It kinda looks a bit like shit, but it's not until I scoop some up with my forefinger and smell it from close-up that I realize it just so happens to BE shit.
I have to admit that I am quite puzzled.
This was on Monday.
It is now Saturday night and I'm still not sure how I feel about having been shat on.
Twice.
Ah yeah, this is the other bit I forgot about...
She comes back from the bathroom as though nothing at all has happened, and I totally buy into her frame and go have a rinse and fuck her again. This time she tells me it's so fucking amazing and that's she's gonna make the sheets dirty if I don't stop.
Now, I usually interpret this as "I'm going to squirt," which is no big deal - I like it in fact. So I keep ploughing her till she comes, screams, sweats (and shits) again.
Again, she says the Oh my God mantra and acts like nothing's happened, and again, my weak frame crumbles at the feet of hers.
It already disturbingly feels like a routine.
Needless to say, the third time around I'm a little wary of letting her orgasm on top, but I like it (the fucking, not the shitting,) so I give her the benefit of doubt this time, crossing my fingers the whole way through, and it happily doesn't cause any further defecation. Sweet.
I never thought I'd see the day I'd get excited over not being fucking shat on, I swear...
So, FINGS WOT I'VE LEARNT:
– "To fuck the shit out of someone" is not just a manner of speech
– I'm trying hard to think, but I think that's it, really...
Oh yeah:
– Don't let one "method" define and limit you.
– Plow like a motherfucker if you feel like it.
– Escalate.
– Escalate.
– Hold your frame.
– Escalate.
– Qualify.
– Qualify.
– Qualify.
– Qualify.
– Don't get shat on - not cool :-\
NOW YOUR INPUT, PLEASE!
I have come up with possible reasons why this might have happened, and I'd like you to help me compile it. This is how I believe some characters would explain it - feel free to add your 2p:
WHY DID THE GIRL SHIT ON IENA?
– She broke rapport - AFC Adam
– She was escalating - London Soul
– It's THE SHIT OF GLORY! - RSD
– She was being spontaneous – Ace
– She AMOGed you – Badboy
– It was an IOI – Style
– She negged you – Mystery
– Was there meat and potato in that shit? - Lord Mega
– That's some weird shit, bro - My Bro, ZigZag
– Because she had solid inner game - Johnny Soporno
– Shit happens – Confucius
– Shit happens when you party naked – Sparky
– To show dominance and leadership – Cortez
– This shit doesn't comply with the Underscore by-laws and represents a security threat. As a result of this, I'm deactivating your account. - Craiger
– Oh, that's a Seattle steamer! - Dr.Yen
– It's a shit test – Tyler Durden
– Shock & Awe! - Ciaran
– "...Even if I got shat on, I totally and completely accept myself" - Magnus
Love and Shit
LR
: N-Y-C...1-2-3-SOME!Work here in NYC has been VERY busy. I average 65 hours a week or more, working 6 days a week. So for the last 6 weeks I haven't been able to go out much at all, and when I do, I have very low energy. This has caused some strain on my relationship with my girl (on top of other issues) so something like what you will read about in this report was very good for my morale...amongst other things. But working hard like this for the last little while made me feel more entitled to going out and having some fun (and getting my girl into her second threesome with me.)
Ok, to start off, my girl has been going out clubbing without me because I've been so busy at work. Last weekend she went out to a club and made contact with a promoter who is rather connected. She described him as gay-ish based on his behaviour, and the fact that he works for Estee Lauder. This past weekend, he was promoting at a club for Labor Day weekend, and told her he would be able to get us past the line.
We get to the club and he greets us. I'm introduced as the boyfriend. Why do I say this? Because about a minute after meeting me, he proceeds to mack on my girl. The worst part is that he doesn't appear gay in my eyes. He's doing high fives and asking her "female advice;" i.e. he's using some community material!
Well, to mack on my girl right in front of me is rather disrespectful…and the worst part is that it seems like my girl is kinda into him. The combination of us having our troubles and this guy working in the clubbing and fashion industries (which is a DHV for my girl) has caused her to wander away. It's time to reassert myself.
How do I do that? Well, he introduces us to a female friend of his with a cute smile (whom he was also into—lets call her Hbcutiesmile.) So I decide to mack on her to counter both my girl's and this guy's behaviour.
So my girl and I are walking through the club, and we run into Hbcutiesmile walking in the opposite direction. I tell her with a big smile to come with us, and she avidly follows – which my girlfriend notices. We get to the bar and she starts asking us what we do. My girlfriend tells her she works in fashion, and I tell her I'm a glorified bum. Then I explain how you can make a lot of money as a bum. I then follow up telling her how when I was in France a few years ago, I would see young, normally dressed, clean people begging for money on a regular basis.
HBcutiesmile is laughing all through this, while my girlfriend gives me a funny look. I then tell HBcutiesmile that my girlfriend always gives me that look when I tell people that I'm a glorified bum. This is calling out the behaviour as to manage the shit test.
You see, for the most of the evening, getting the threesome to happen is simply a combination of showing HBcutiesmile what a unique and special dynamic my girl and I have as means of DHVing. Most women out there could only wish to be in such a happy relationship. So if they aren't in one, then the next best thing would be to join one…even if for just one evening! I learned this from observing Doc in field on numerous occasions.
The second part of getting the threesome to happen is managing my girlfriend's constant shit testing. I do admit that I haven't been managing the relationship very well for the last little while, so my value in her eyes may have gone down. So if I'm gonna try to do something like a threesome with her again tonight, she will instinctively shit test me so see if I'm really that kinda man. I manage the shit tests mostly with the concepts I covered in my last threesome report.
Now for the mindset I have. The first thing you guys have to realise about NYC is that there are SO MANY single women. By sheer numbers, you will always run into someone single. Many of these people are from out of town, so they are also in traveler's mode; i.e. more ready to fuck. Both these things work in your favour. And a last thing about NYC is that women here are actually less image-obsessed than people in Montreal. Women here are really out to have fun, and unlike people in Montreal, they are more open to you just chatting them up if you are in fun mode. On top of all this, I know in my mind that I'm that type of guy with whom women just want to have threesomes. Yes, I do believe this, and you should all as well. Entitlement goes a long way.
So for more specifics. I am constantly being affectionate to my girl in front of HBcutiesmile. She tells us later that we are the best couple she has ever seen. I start kinoing both women as always, just as AtoZ told to me to do. The thing is that you have to gauge your primary's comfort levels. It's not so much that she will get jealous as she will be afraid of how it will look in front of the other friends we're with.
At one point, a guy comes up to both my girl and HBcutiesmile and tries to dance with them. I put my arms around both of them and pull them away. Very powerful.
So then my girl and I start getting into a deeper discussion with HBcutiesmile. She mentions how she lives with a gay guy. I then go into how gays in NYC are primitive compared to the gays in Montreal. The gays in NYC are still in that "look at us, we're gay!" mode, whereas the gays in Montreal are more laid back with the whole issue now. I then go in how my girlfriend was about to move into an apartment where her roommate would be a lesbian. HBcutiesmile tells me that I should like that. But I tell her my girlfriend and I prefer bisexual-bicurious women. HBcutiesmile says, "Oh so you guys are looking for a bisexual woman?" I tell her that I'm not planning for anything in particular, but if something happens then no big deal. I'm indifferent to the outcome, although it's always good to have a vision of the things you want in life. She agrees whole heartedly with this. She then comments on my girlfriend's perky boobs. I tell her they are real, and that she can cop a feel if she wants; in fact, I take her hand and place it on one of my girlfriend's boobs!
Now the next thing I have to handle is the promoter periodically coming around and trying to AMOG me and mack on HBcutiesmile. This mostly involves us doing alpha type gestures to one another…and I have to admit that he's pretty good at it. But at this point I have built enough attraction with HBcutiesmile that it no longer matters.
I also make sure periodically to leave my girlfriend and Hbcutiesmile alone so they can build rapport together, and other times my girlfriend leaves me and HBcutiesmile alone so we can build rapport—and of course, we also build rapport together as a group. Now I don't need to go into details, but I will say this: rapport is best done by talking about things you like and that are important to you in life. Having lived an interesting life helps here, guys. If your target is into you, then she will follow your lead and bridge those commonalities. If you wanna pattern here or use some NLP, then that helps for some women.
At this point my girlfriend sees that a threesome is inevitable, and she once again starts shit testing me. I have to remind myself about some inner game concepts, as well as the techniques I mentioned in my last threesome report, in order to manage these shit tests. Not only do I have to manage my girlfriend's mood, but I also have to keep my own mood elevated (and my dick hard) so as to not sabotage the pick up – which my girlfriend is subconsciously trying to do. Again, thanks to Drake for explaining this concept to me.
Now Hbcutiesmile sees this, and when I'm alone with her while my girlfriend is in the bathroom, I tell her that my girlfriend and I have our own issues, as do all couples. Interestingly, showing this vulnerability to HBcutiesmile helps, as it shows that we are human (and therefore attainable.) So after this, HBcuitesmile becomes very enthusiastic about us all hanging out together after the club. I mentioned to her earlier how enthusiasm is a very good trait to have, so she makes sure to keep my girlfriend's mood elevated for the remainder of the time in the club.
The club is closing so we start making our way out. Outside we have a difficult time finding a cab, which irritates my girlfriend, but luckily HBcutiesmile keeps her spirits up. The promoter tries to mack on each of the girls again, but at this point I pretty much blow him out of the water. Even better is the fact that he has an idea of what's gonna happen between me and the two girls…well that's what he gets for trying to hit on my girl right in front of me.
In the cab ride home my girlfriend is a bit quiet, maybe because the cab driver isn't playing any music So I tell him to turn on the radio. Both girls laugh. I then put my arm around my girlfriend and hold HBcutiesmiles hand. More comfort building here. Actually it's kinda funny, as the topic of the latest Woody Allen film comes up – a dude in that movie also has a threesome LOL!
Back at my place I don't waste much time, and get both the girls to do the dual induction massage on each other with me. That quickly Sets the mood, and we eventually all get it on. Again I'm touching both girls as they are making out…and to my surprise (or maybe not) it turns out that my girlfriend was VERY wet, more than usual…wow, after all that crabby shit testing she ends up getting extremely turned on. Guess that means I should never let shit tests affect my emotional state. Just manage them and reframe it as a means to escalate.
Before you know, it we're all over the place. One thing though is that I think it's this girl's first time with another woman, and she evidently isn't too experienced in pleasing another woman, which kinda annoys my girlfriend. I will keep this in mind and make sure to qualify our next potential threesome target about her experience and skill in pleasuring another woman…
Now the best part of the whole night isn't me blowing that promoter out of the water, it isn't me reasserting myself in my girlfriend's eyes, it isn't the crazy romp on the bed, but it is when it it's all over. Literally a minute after we finish, HBcutiesmile starts getting comfortable on my bed. That's when my girlfriend gets up and says, "It's getting late, are you gonna call her a cab?" Ice cold I tell you! Now I don't care for keeping our target around either, but my girlfriend's bluntness makes my jaw drop. Boy did Cliff have a good laugh when I told him this! So we call her a cab and send her on her way.
The next day she texts my girlfriend saying she had fun and that we should all go out for drinks again. My girl and I decide we prefer fresh meat…especially those that are more experienced in satisfying other women.
Using Pauses to Amp the Vibe - Silence is Golden
Today I want to talk about using silence to your advantage – as a way to show your comfort in the situation, to introduce a sexual element, and to get the girl contributing. One of the most common mistakes guys make is they get so happy just to be flirting with a girl that they go into motor-mouth mode…constantly talking never allowing for silence. People do this for 2 reasons: first, because they feel like they need to keep putting out content simply to keep the girl, and secondly, because they are uncomfortable with silence and thus resort to filler-speak to fill the gaps.
The fact is, leaving silent pauses in your speech serves a number of purposes:
1.) It shows you value what you say. You speak only when you have something to say…not simply for the purpose of saying words.
2.) It Sets a sexual tone – a silent pause is a great way to build sexual tension. If you and a girl are enjoying eachother’s company while no words are being spoken, it means you must be enjoying each other on a non-verbal level.
3.) It communicates your expectations – it tells the girl you expect her to contribute to the interaction, and shows her that you are a man with expectations.
4.) It puts the girl in her head. You know that feeling you get when you feel a silence coming and your thoughts start racing to fill the gap? Well, girls feel the same way. Put her into this headspace and she’ll rationalize: “Look, I’m searching nervously for something to say. I must like this guy.”
5.) It shows a high tolerance to social pressure. Put simply, this is an attractive trait.
So then, what are some different times one can use pausing in an interaction to maximum effectiveness:
You ask the girl a question, she responds with a short answer, i.e.:
“Where are you from…?”
“California.”
…pause…
“Oh, just south of L.A.”
Right here, you very clearly communicated your expectations and got her operating on YOUR PROGRAM, and not the other way around. You wanted a specific level of detail when you asked the question, and your pause prompted her to conform to that level.
You know how in movies, the guy (or girl) says something incredibly romantic and both characters pause and look deep into each other’s eyes? Like “You had me at hello Jerry McGuire, you had me at hello…” Well, truth is, moments like this almost never happen in real life – BUT, we can simulate this and give the girl a similar experience.
A lot of guys make the mistake of over-gaming – essentially, they output and output and output, never asking the girl to contribute back. Understand that the longer you output, the more the girl goes into Receptive Mode. If you’re motor-mouthing for 30 minutes it means you’ve built 30 minutes of momentum with you talking…from here, getting her out of Receptive Mode and contributing is going to be extremely tough.
While going talkative can sometimes be necessary to reach the hook point, it’s important to break that momentum once you have her hooked – to get her contributing on a more equal basis. To do this, SIMPLY STOP TALKING. There’s going to be a pause in the conversation. It’s going to be weird. She will start talking to fill the awkward silence. She is now INVESTED in continuing the interaction. She’s not only receiving, but also outputting in order to keep the interaction moving forward.
Later in the interaction, silence is what anchors the girl to you. As long as you’re talking, she’s being kept with you by your words. Once you stop talking and she stays, it means she’s being kept by something beyond your words…acknowledging that something unspoken exists between the two of you.
Guys, this is HUGE – if all you’re using is words and ACTIVE measures to get the girl, the instant you leave her side – and stop actively gaming her – her feelings for you begin to deflate since she does not have any feelings anchored to you in a passive frame.
Meaning – going passive is necessary to anchor your standing with the girl. This is a whole other concept for another article, but here let's touch on how silence can be used as a passive anchor:
After you very clearly have attraction and a degree of escalation, you go silent. The girl will do one of two things based on her own self esteem, as well as how much she likes you. She’ll either let the conversation go completely silent – OR – she’ll go into talkative mode.
In either case, your response is the same – you stay silent but confident, allowing your non-verbals to say, “We’re past the chatty stage…nothing more needs to be said.” If the girl stays silent, she’s essentially acknowledging that you and she are on the same page – that you’re TOGETHER. Or, if she goes talkative, it’s likely gonna be in the form of her qualifying herself…basically her feeling like she needs to GAME YOU, and doing so.
In either situation, your case is greatly furthered, and from here you can relax…you’re on the home stretch.
A natural reflex to social-pressure is getting talkative – using words to release tension and de-escalate, often happening as a direct result of escalation. Now remember the central pillar of PU – What You Feel, She Feels.
So a key mistake a lot of guys make is going talkative while trying to escalate because of the nervousness they feel. When you do so, it reveals to the girl that you are in fact nervous, she thinks “Hey, this guy is creating a situation he’s nervous about…there must be something not right in this situation, I’m going to put a stop to it.”
Other times, even if the guy doesn’t go talkative, the girl does, and the guy starts responding. In this case, the girl is indicating her nervousness and the guy – by following the girl’s talkative lead - is essentially buying into that nervousness and making it real.
Instead, even if the girl goes talkative, silence can be used to assuage the feelings of nervousness Remember, silence indicates comfort in a given situation, so the girl thinks, “Hmmm, I’m a little bit nervous, but he’s completely comfortable…there must be nothing to be nervous about.” Essentially, this amounts to Emotional Leadership through passivity.
In addition to the examples listed above, silence can be used at any point during the PU to spike the emotional seismograph and add emphasis and gravity to any given situation.
So for instance, take even the cliché question: “So what do you do?”
In typical context this looks like:
By incorporating a pause however:
Bottom line – of all the things you’d like to communicate about yourself to a girl, a good number of them can be communicated more effectively through silence than through speech.
Get comfortable in silence; make your speech that much more meaningful, and start creating moments.
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