He can talk about everything even without knowing anything

Kk hh: I've seen a recommended site on the list called "Mind Control Manual", and it's not NLP at all. Can anyone tell me how this weird site made its way to the list and did any of you guys really have success with it?

Clifford: There's been a lot of discussion in the past about "psychic seduction" and "Mind Control" and some guys have had interesting successes with it.

GameMaster: You have a new subscriber named Mike K. Mike was a bartender at the Men's Club during SpaceLord's reign of terror. He moved to San Fran over a year ago but we still keep in touch. I asked him to put together some thoughts on how best to approach strippers and this is what he advises..... "My best advice comes straight from the WHOPPER computer "Joshua" in the movie War Games with Matt Broderick. The only way to win is not to play the game!" BTW, we were laughing our asses off and comparing notes a few weeks back and discovered we had both nailed 6 (minimum) of the same chicks. Most we don't even remember the names of but the guy was a quiet monster. Oh yeah, and here's the best part.....he was tricking out the girls from the club for $500-1000 a pop, including....... yeah, my GF! But I still love the guy! : )

Clifford: The advice on strippers is too thin. I'd love to get a more detailed action plan if he has the time.

GameMaster: He's murder with the gals but he's done with strippers. Mike's the only guy I'm still in contact with from the Men's Club days. I tried to get him to work up a post but I have to agree with him...just stay away from them.

Clifford: That's probably the best advice of all. Problem is most guys just can't resist the hot looking ones, no matter how bad they are for them.

GameMaster: I know, they make for great visuals. Too bad they're so lousy in the sack. Can't remember any exceptions to that rule.

Mark B.: > Mystery: Consider the GROUP THEORY thing, bro. It's worth the effort to work the friends first because the cool thing is, when you are speaking to them and actively ignoring the target , she STILL gets to hear everything you are saying. Your personality still goes into her head. : )

MB: This I see how it can be true. But there comes a time when you have to go after your target and then what do you do? Here in essence you are trying to get her attention inadvertently first and then pouncing on her, right? > Mystery: I KNOW this is limiting the opportunities. You are waiting for the situation to be ... RIGHT ... rather than looking for the RIGHT WOMAN and meeting her through ... FRIENDS.

MB: The highest NHL scorers never chase the puck round like mad, they wait for the right opportunity to come to them and then maximize their chances. What you say, though, I agree with since it fits well with the setting that you are in - tightly knit, engaged women in a bar setting. Still I cannot overemphasize that if you approach her and she is interested in you she will break away and give you room without worrying about working the group. > Mystery: Hate it. Good that you are approaching, of course. It's just a consideration to increase your opportunities. There are MANY great situations you are not approaching because you are waiting for SPECIFIC situations rather than going in right away ... you never know when a hottie will no longer be approachable - time constraints impose themselves out of nowhere sometimes.

MB: I disagree. I wait and wait but the wait is usually no longer than say 10-20 minutes at the most. And I can't get through I just take her attention away from the group when there is a lull in the action. They do not talk non stop all the time and after all they are at a bar to have fun and possibly meet new people so if an opportunity comes along they'll investigate. > Mystery: "I like your friend. Are you ok with that?" This is GREAT! See, you are removing FUTURE OBJECTIONS. : ) It's sweet man, trust me.

MB: I see this may give too much power to the guy. What if he says no? What then? At least when you are hitting on her without his permission you are conveying that it's your right to hit on her hence Alpha Male. Don't ask, take. > Mystery: Aaaah, you shmuck!!!! (lovingly said, of course!) THAT was her strategy! Dude, THAT is the girl I would have gotten! No joke. She HAS to say what she said what with 20 guys hitting on her. And guess what? Her little story not only worked to get rid of all those guys, but YOU, TOO! A PUA ! : ) Picking up a 10 is the exception to the rule, dude. She didn't have a boy toy. That's bullshit. She went home alone. You COULD have gotten her ... NEG THEORY is DESIGNED for 10's! See the logical error? Because she gave you her bitch shield , you fell for it and labelled her a MAN HATER. She wasn't. She was just a LOSER-HATER. You have to be different so you don't appear a LOSER. One GREAT way is to actively ignore her by being the center of attention within her own peer group while
you neg her and lower her self esteem. I've been there, dude! This shit works. Anyone see my work care to comment on my shit?

MB: Well, I would have loved to see you work her and get her. How would you have handled this one with negs ? I would like to see a detailed explanation here. Also, what is your theoretical basis for disarming a bitch shield through negs ? > Mystery: Yep. And so just by approaching directly, you get labelled LOSER to her. She could have ANYONE. Anyone ... but YOU! That's when she will chase you. Don't approach the target directly. Even more so, don't approach her GROUP directly. Approach an adjacent group and MERGE one group (preferably with women) with HER group. That way you were covered with social proof before you entered. I do this ALL the time. It's STANDARD GROUP THEORY, dude. : ) I love this shit! You lost the opportunity because you didn't practice for those situations. The BEST girls are always knocking guys down. ENJOY the challenge and use GROUP THEORY and NEG THEORY to EXPLOIT her strategy. Heheehe.

MB: She was sitting on a stool with her fat friend not smiling and looking out at the dance floor. Have me in terms of what? Get me how? Is this an issue of control and domination of her over me - is this what you mean by not having me? > Mystery: Aaaah you see the failure? She has to choose to talk with you based on your 5 second first impression. But if you approached the group, you could make your first impression last 5 minutes long with great stories and enthusiasm. She doesn't have to choose whether she should talk to you or not right away. Let her choose that after she gets to see you talk for a bit. To approach and say, "Hi, can I talk to you?" sucks. She will more likely say no because it's her PATTERN to ASSUME you are just the next loser in line. Dude, I've had GF's who were 10's. This is their PATTERN, their PROGRAM. they are used to loser approaches. It's part of their reality. BUT! They don't want to say yes to SOME GUY. They want to meet their LOVED ONE "through friends." Have I convinced you?
My workshop TEACHES group theory in a BIG WAY. You can do approaches. Now let's get you up to speed!

MB: First impressions count and for me the faster the better as I am in control how she sees me right away. Loser approaches? I also have had my share of HB10's, ones that get hit on several times per day. I asked them why me and they say "well, because you were so direct and you did not bullshit with what you wanted. You also did not let me squirm away and challenged my behaviour, not like the other shmuks who kiss my ass and try to be soft and tender." Give them the first thought of what you want and are about before they begin to think anything other than what you want them to think about you - this is the basis for my version of Speed Seduction. > Mystery: And she'll only do that based on the view of you that she made in too short of a time. If you are hot, ok, you have a chance, but wouldn't it be nice to add in 5 to 10 minutes of talk before she needs to decide? That's why a comedian who performs gets laid more than a comedian who doesn't. Does that make sense?

MB: 5 - 10 minutes of talk. Sure after I come up to her and make a comment on how great she looks in her dress - fluff talk about the bar then move in for the kill but sometimes all we do is stand there and smile and they (women) do all the work themselves.

Clifford: You are missing the point. In Mystery's strategy, she's watching you from the sidelines seeing you getting friendly with her friends and you are becoming someone she can look at as not a total stranger, someone who she's heard say a few intelligent things over a few minutes and is then able to form a positive impression of. Then when you talk to her she's not looking at you as just another guy coming on to her. > Mystery: Was she a ten? I doubt it. Toronto? A girl you can approach directly? No way. I'm talking about approaching TENS, dude. TENS! The once a month OPPORTUNITY.

MB: Dude, she is beyond 10. She looks like a cross between Whitney Houston and Angela Basset and fit like a tight drum. Yes Toronto and yes that direct, Dude. It's important you expand your field of possibility. And yes I met her cold in the lobby of The Royal Bank Plaza south tower in downtown Toronto and she was married at the time (not any more and yes I did bone her) and she still gave me her business number all within 2 minutes of meeting her. So there - expand your field of possibility. Believe that success can be had in any setting under any circumstances as long as you go for what you want and not necessarily having all the right conditions in place. > Mystery: How can she be into you if you didn't have time to convey your personality, though? Convey within her group and then she will LOVE to talk with you isolated. They are often honored to talk with me privately by the time I get to her. (I'm not lying, ask any of my students).

MB: I do not feel that the condition to be successful requires you to be able to fully convey your personality to her before you succeed or go for the kill. When you act like you already have what it takes by not worrying about conveying anything she implicitly assumes that you must already have something about you of high value she may want. It's about confidence and the image of "I got it but I do not need to show you because it's already there."

Clifford: Mystery's methods are clearly 'another way.' Your way and his do not have to be reconciled - there's more than one way to get a woman interested. The ideal would be to develop the instinct to know which tactic to use in which situation, because I am sure that no one (including you and Mystery) is 100% successful using the same thing over and over on different women. Different women will react different ways (sure, there will be a number that will like your way, but there will also be ones that need a different approach) - there's no point in looking at this as it's only my way vs. your way. > Mystery: Horrible. They must choose you based on 10 seconds. No social proof, no alpha male characteristics. No humour. No great envious persona. She can decide based only on looks and lame compliment (ones she got a shit load of times). Your successes have been aberrations.

MB: Before you mention statistical aberrations consider my sample size and the success rate. About 15 strippers out of about maybe 40 I asked over 3 years and about a 37.5% close ratio out of ones I ask (for strippers this is a good close ratio). No aberrations here. And yes it is that fast and the basis of what I do is me, no other crap. Maybe success rate could have been higher but remember that some are just not inclined to be picked up no matter what you do. But the faster I work the better my success rate - ambush and strike. Most if not all actual numbers and acceptance for invites for me all happen within 3-5 minutes of first meeting. > Mystery: That is a glorious waste of time. Watch me work a room, dude, serious. I'll teach ya some great shit that will completely change your game forever. No word of a lie. You are READY.

MB: What you do could enhance my approach. You could learn from me as well and greatly enhance your field of possibility as well. I cannot emphasize the fact that being in the right place at the right time is more important to success than anything else. They must already have a need or if they do not then it must be easily evoked. You can bend over backwards and forwards but still get nowhere if she is not inclined that way. Try converting bin Laden to becoming a Republican. Maybe it can be done but why waste the time and effort? Better focus on other more worthy pursuits. I am much, much better at recognizing those that are inclined to me or to PUA in general and then doing what it takes to succeed more by not fucking up more than anything. I feel that women want men who will give them a feeling of congruity, logic and direction to her existence. Have you ever met women who have been single for a long time - do they not seem all over the place scatter brained? This is why negs probably work so well as the
y challenge her bullshit behaviours and in turn endear her to you as the guy that gives her congruence and clear direction that she so richly wants. In fact, the best way to disarm neuroses and flake fucking is to challenge it head on. Allowing it to remain only feeds it further. I feel that evoking states, creating good feelings in her, befriending her friends, being complimentary and open, being direct and all other tactics are great. But it means very little if she does not feel the strength of your male energy. We give her this by being in control of ourselves by acting logically, congruently and in control. Women have a harder time acting this way as their left and right brains are more richly connected than ours thus facilitating a greater mix of emotion attached to thought. They have a harder time detaching their thoughts from their emotions and look to us to help them along with this process. A man that can do this for her is the one that offers her the greatest fulfillment as a woman. I feel that wom
en know that their congruence and logic is not as strong as that of a man and when a man gives this to her she feels fulfilled and safe with him. This allows her to free herself to give herself to him with less worry that she'll be disappointed, endangered, or hurt because he cannot stand up to the world and do what it takes to survive in it. And this is probably the reason why the less we cater to them the more they want us and the more we allow them to control and direct us the less success we have.

Gregory Rasputin: > Daniel: Does anyone here deal with, or have ways to deal with sexual inhibition and frigidity? I know many, many conservative girls, and before you flood me with reasons why these girls aren't worth it, consider it as another challenge and another weapon and skill in your arsenal.... Anyway, I know some sexual attraction patterns, etc. but what are the ways by which to bring up specific fantasies (bear in mind that this cannot be done overtly, as in a Grand Master PUA )without getting them embarrassed or uncomfortable? The reason I ask is, a lot of women are mentally immature and giggle at the sexual side of things, mainly because they attach so much importance to it and it is such a deep part of them, that it often goes unexplored.

Gregory Rasputin: Haha, here's one area I never have trouble with. Right now, I'm dating a cop's daughter, and you can imagine how she was raised. In the past, I'd take the most frigid girls, ones that haven't even gone farther then kissing and just do what I wish. My always working, never failing way of doing this is simply my attitude. All people who meet me are a little shy around me at first because they've never met anyone this open. I remember talking to some guy I met about his GF a while ago, and I asked "so you fucked her yet?" in the kind of normal tone that this question should be asked, and he just didn't get it...it's as if he's never heard the word 'fuck' used in it's verb form. So, if you want girls to stop being frigid, don't be frigid yourself! Her attitude reflects on you, and you mirror that attitude, and get this self-propagating system set up where no one gets any ass. You have to break out of this terrible pattern, and show that you're a man, with certain desires, and you're VERY proud o
f those desires, because they make up who you are, your personality, and you can't possibly be any less then proud of your personality. So, just like Mark and I always talk about, be open to her. Did she give you an erection? Tell her, if she giggles look at her like a stupid little girl, and make her feel stupid for giggling, ask "what...you've never heard of an erection in your life...why is that funny to you?" If the skirt she's wearing makes you wanna fuck her, tell her that. Don't be afraid that you'll sound like a dog...it's who you are, talk to her about books, movies, but in the same calm manner talk to her about sex. So many people need to learn that sex is a normal part of life, and you're not a dirty swine if you like it, or talk about it. And to eclypz with a 'c': You're right man, treating this like a game is bullshit. I used to do that, cuz I thought it was really fun, but damit, go play something else. I treat girls like humans and not like "reproduce unit, version HB9.3". Many students here ge
t the wrong idea, because they want to be ' players '. That takes no effort, I could be that...I'd much rather be the kind of guy who walks down the street and have the girls fall for my charm, and talk in a way that makes girls tear up....not the guy who can brag to his friends about this girl he boned at the club last night.

HitmanPT: >Clifford: the thing is that guys with big mouths attract women. Guys who just talk with the appearance that they know what they are talking about (whether they do or not is besides the point) exude a leadership quality that many women are fascinated by.

HitmanPT: Cliff, I agree with your theory. And is easily proved: just look at the politicians, these guys can convert anybody to their opinion. That's what a good politician is all about, they "talk with the appearance that they know what they are talking about". I can tell you an example that happened in my country: there were two politicians that ran for Government, let's just call them John and Peter. John is a truly honest guy, graduated with a very high average, and is a very hardworking man. Peter is a politician by nature, graduated with a medium average, he can talk about everything even without knowing anything about the subject, he's not a hard working man, had many women, has children all over the country (pays alot of $$ for pensions to his ex wives). Well...who do you think won the elections? Peter of course... What's this have to do with seduction? I say a lot. When you demonstrate your "eloquence", your ability to speak well, you're making a women admire you, like the politicians do, and as Man
iac and Mys pretty well cover, admiration is the key to success! Besides, you're expressing your opinion on a subject, even if you don't know shit about it! I believe this is an important requirement for being a PUA : you must be able to speak well. Just look at Ross, by using only his ability to speak he can fuck almost any woman he wants! I'm not saying this is the only thing a PUA must know, every PUA has his own style, his technique. Example: for Ross, it's very important to speak well, because, as far as I know, his method is based on NLP , leading the girl to different states... But for a guy who only PU 's at clubs, it's not the most important tool, but a useful one. For a guy that only PU 's in Latino clubs the most important tool is to know how to dance, and so on. >Clifford: If she succeeds in changing you into a pussy whipped jellyfish needing her approval, then you'll become something that she is not attracted to.

HitmanPT: I've read a post (sorry, I don't remember where, I think it was on ASF ) from a guy, who successfully approached a girl and started seeing her as a PUA . He was in control, he decided when they go and where they go. As the days passed by, he began to fall in love. He started seeing her more often and slowly giving her control (it started with small things). The next thing he knows she's dumping him! Which is not a big surprise, he became a total AFC , the girl was no longer attracted to him as she totally controlled him, he's no longer a challenge but a guy who does her every wish! Moral of the story: even if you want to keep seeing (= fucking) a specific girl, don't ever lose the Alpha Male status, don't give in control! Always remember you are the man, you control the shots! >Clifford: The only thing that occurs to me, though, is that there is an element of deception involved because you approach the group with the hidden goal of getting to the target - that's not exactly honest, is it?

HitmanPT: "All war is based on deception" - Sun Tzu, "The Art of War" (great book btw) IMO, when a PUA approaches a girl, it is never an honest action; what is the goal when you do an approach? To fuck her of course! A PUA won't "date" her, won't marry her, he just wants to fuck her and move on to the next one, and that's not a very honest thing to do. I'm not saying that you shouldn't do it (hell...I do it, too), or that you should be nice to the women by doing their every wish, I'm only saying that each tactic anybody presents here regarding seduction can't be judged by being honest or dishonest because all of them are not honest for the girl. When you fuck a girl and dump her, she'll probably complain to an AFC friend she may have what a jerk you were. (The AFC most likely would like to be the jerk that fucks her.) But it depends on the girl, maybe it's a girl who just wants to fuck with somebody, no strings attached. Most of them enjoy sex more than we do : ) However, I will never approve (and I belie
ve this is common sense) those tactics that regard the use of drugs, drinks or anything that will make a girl unconscious just to fuck her.

Clifford: Without going into a lot of detail, if your intention is to sleep with her that night and you tell her that, how is that not honest? No one says you have to marry a girl just because you approach her - that would totally scare most of them away anyway. Fucking and dumping is an immature model of picking up women - more intelligent is to make a friend out of her (whether you see her again or not, she shouldn't leave you thinking you are a jerk) who will greet you with a smile when she sees you out the next time. >Eclypz with a "c": So, anyway, this game you speak of, when is it over, and how do you know you have won? Seriously, is this more like the perpetual tic-tac-toe thing from "WarGames", where it's an infinite loop of moves and blocks that lead to more moves and blocks, or is there an end in itself somewhere?

HitmanPT: Everybody has different goals at different times of their lives. For example: in weightlifting, I want to achieve a target weight, in university I want an higher average, and so on...as I achieve these goals, new ones will emerge, usually more difficult to achieve. In seduction, it's the same situation, I'm constantly trying to improve myself. It may start with a simple goal like the Svengali challenge and constantly getting harder and harder. My goal in this particular game (seduction) is when I'm the PERFECT PUA who does not exist, like a saint who's searching for spiritual perfection and knows he can't achieve it. So I must try to be the best I can, trying to get closer to perfection. Of course, this is only my goal; IMO each PUA has his own goal, it may be the search for a women he can truly love, or get so good at this that they can go commercial and start selling a product, etc... For me, it gives me satisfaction knowing that I'm getting good at this. I like waking up in the morning and by
my side is a woman I just met last night. I like the expression on my friends' faces when I arrive at parties with different hot girls each time. Hey...I know this is not "politically correct", like Cliff says, but it's my life.

Craig: > Joseph: All this group theory stuff is really arbitrary. In clubs or bars, you can approach the target and do handwriting analysis. Her girlfriends will beg you to do their's as well. Do her friends and you are fractionating as well as inspiring competition. Also, some non-verbal rapport from Essential Skills ( www.essential-skills.com ) will help out with groups. I think all this "performance" that Mystery uses for groups is totally unnecessary. Just get a $15 Grapho Deck from www.myhandwriting.com and buy the $35 magical rapport CD from Essential Skills and you won't need it at all. I don't.

Craig: I am curious to know what city you live in and the quality and age of the women you are going for. I'm sure these techniques work well for you, but I am also sure that you're not going to the kind of clubs or bars that we have in major metropolitan areas like Hollywood or San Diego. I have found that the best method for me when it comes to REALLY hot groups of women is to approach the group as a whole with a question, joke or short story. After I get them laughing and make a good impression I will bail out and move on. The magic happens when I see them again, because now I can approach the girl I want directly. I don't have to worry about her friends getting in the way, because they already know who I am and they know that I'm the MAN! Of course, they could meet some other people while I'm gone, but I could do the same! I like the $15 grapho deck for when you have a girl at your place, but I think the $35 could be better used as toilet paper or to buy some D&G Pour Homme cologne (the best!). Rapport is
over rated.

DB: > Clifford: The big mouth theory (I have wanted to etc.etc.etc.....

DB: Cliff my man, about all I can do is agree with you on this. All PUA 's that I know of are like this. These guys are like the Steve Martin character "I am a wild and crazy guy" that was featured on early Saturday Night Live episodes. Yes, women are drawn to them, without question. I described a guy I knew who has success with women and that looked like Ms. Hathaway from the Beverly Hillbillies and gave piggy back rides in bars. He is also verbose. But these guys are playful, and that is always a turn on to women. But I must say, though, that these guys are not the type of people I would like to know as a friend. They tend to be insensitive, manipulative, and self centered. If this is what I must become to get more women, then let those guys have 'em. These types though are not usually the most educated, you will not see them order an SS course or subscribe to your newsletter. They also pay a price for their behaviour: one guy I know has several drunk driving convictions, the other uses cocaine and another
had an ulcer from doing to many vodka shots. The key is to incorporate it into your style, show them a little bad boy verbosity, if you will, so you do not become labeled the suburban "Bob Zombie"! Looking back on it, probably the most verbose guy of all time (or is it verboten?) was Adolph Hitler. He had eight or nine girlfriends before he became ruler of Germany, and his last before he met Eva Braun was half his age. Not bad for a guy with half a sack and who enjoyed having women piss on his face. I wonder if he used some sort of NLP to get women to do that.....

CPowles: > Clifford: The big mouth theory It has occurred to me recently that women respond to big mouths. I've noticed guys like Alfie. He is loud and very visible - he is always expressing his opinion and if he's in the room, you'll know it. I have noticed a number of guys over the years who seemed to have little more going for them than the fact that they were loud and had motor mouths.

CPowles: I just wanted to comment that this is only ONE type of PUA . One of the first and best PUAs I ever saw hardly ever talked. He was a natural who could just make eye contact, take an HB into a dark corner or his car, go at it, and then part without a word ever exchanged. When he did sarges

where he talked, he said very little. He just had a gentle, easy, yet suggestive energy. My point is that it can be good NOT to talk or be a loudmouth some times, because then women can project their fantasy on to you. This was how he worked: he was quiet, mysterious, intelligent, sexually intuitive -- a woman's adventure. This can also, as you say, "bypass their expressed wholesome, relationship oriented, conscious behaviour." > Clifford: Women all want the guy who's got all the women, the bad boy is what turns them on.

CPowles: Yes, my new tactic, when I meet an HB I #closed is to call a SECOND HB to meet us out, one who I don't desire as much. In addition to the social proof and the "women want a man desired by other women" elements, this is effective because the first HB has to work and compete for me. Also, I can reward and punish the HB I want by choosing to pay attention or not pay attention to the second HB . And when the second HB finally leaves, the HB I want is elated to finally be alone with me. This has worked really well lately. P.S. I #closed a porn star today with a time constraint and a cube take-away... : ) She's having problems with her borefriend. So sad...

Christos: While checking out some of the discount VCR stores in HK, I stumbled across a ten HK dollar copy of the Tao of Steve. I remembered hearing some positive comments on this list about this film and at that price (about a buck U.S., I just had to see what it was all about. If you haven't seen it then hunt it down as soon as possible. Not only is it very much on topic for readers of this list, it is also quirky, funny and very watchable. The main character, Dex comes out with some great philosophical one liners and distills the whole pick up philosophy down into three essential steps. 1. Be desireless 2. Be excellent in her presence 3. Be Gone (do a take away) True, the ending really is a bit soppy, I would like to find the book now so that I can do a quick comparison. Also, I can't believe that he is really that fat. Can anybody confirm that his huge gut is in fact foam padding? In the meantime, everybody should really get their asses down to a Blockbuster and check this out if you have
n't done so already. If I can find it here in China, then there really is no excuse for the rest of you located in more civilized parts of the world.

Insider: I think the big mouth theory simply is more exemplary one way [ but not the only way, thank God ] of demonstrating confidence. Cliff, as you know me personally, I've been on a bit of a spiritual quest and part of what I've been addressing is keeping my ego in check. I am searching for some kind of medium between the over confident big mouth and the wise, strong silent demeanor. In some cases as Mystery points out, the strong silent type is not [ in the case of picking up strippers ] appropriate. Although I am not the shy type, I do not feel comfortable with being an ass with flatulence out the mouth in order to get hot looking pussy. This presents an interesting dilemma because being a big mouth does show confidence up front to people, so one may be considered an ass, but an ass that gets laid. Semi related to this is one observation I have made in the past two years. This may be indicative of local attitudes where you are. If you live in an uptight community, then those of you might
have experienced this. In my quest to fluff, and sarge , a female friend of mine once told me that she was informed to stay away from me because I was "too friendly". I can't really think what I did wrong, aside from simply being friendly. It may have been the way I came across, but am not sure. I have since left this particular area in the U.S. so it's not really an issue for me. However, In some cases having a standoffish demeanor is better, even in certain parts of Europe. What's odd about this is that it tends to contradict a lot of the basics of seduction theory and practice all of us on this list come to understand. I do need to point out that it comes down to being able to calibrate the situation, though being able to determine if you're being too friendly takes a little bit of time.