She knew I was just being honest and open

Jacques: www.coincidencedesign.com/ Just plain silly.

Clifford: Silly, perhaps, but damn expensive!

Mystery: Isn't it time you finally "GOT IT?" Mystery is conducting Sex Magic Workshops in Toronto, New York City and Los Angeles. Toronto workshop Jan 24, 25 & 26. NYC workshop one Feb 1, 2 & 3 NYC workshop two Feb 5, 6 & 7 Los Angeles workshop Feb 28, Mar 1 & 2 Reserve your spot now (only 6 positions available per workshop) by emailing magic@erikvonmarkovik.com . For more info, visit www.mysterymethod.com/

Craig: Here is a tid bit for the newsletter that have been kicking ass with. This first part is something I read somewhere, maybe you wrote it, and it is definitely worth repeating. After I hang out with a girl or meet her out somewhere, I tell her I know of a great place that serves wine by candlelight. I tell her we need to stop by my house first to grab something. Then when she goes to the bathroom (they always do!) I run upstairs with a bottle and 2 glasses and light the candles in my room, then run downstairs before they come out! When they come out I say "Let's go!" and lead them upstairs. This works every time! Then we sit on the bed and drink some wine and soon we are making out. Then I say, "Let's play a game!" The game is called STRIP Heads or Tails! You flip a coin and have the girl call it in the air. If she gets it right then you take off something, and if she is wrong then it's her turn. I usually make a rule that each person is allowed to keep on one article of clothing to leave some fun for later. I have done this with 3 girls in a row and it is MONEY! Another good move/ neg is when a girl says something dumb, put your hand up and say "Hi Five" and then when she goes to hit your hand miss on purpose and lightly hit her on the forehead. Girls love that! Also, I like to bring silly string with me to the bar and if I think a girl is asking for it I let loose on her! This is really funny cause the girl will chase you around the room trying to get you back. A good opener that I have been using is "Hey, did you know that this used to be a gay bar?" "No....Really?" "Yep, and I think some of the guys here still think it is. Look at that guy over there!" Then point to some gay looking dude. Or you can point to a good looking guy and say "See I figure any guy that is better looking than me HAS to be gay!" Over the years one of my main obstacles with women has been the phone. Its taken me a long time to figure out what I have been doing wrong, and now that I have I am the KING! My old game plan was not to call very often, but to always return calls as soon as I could and always call when I said I was going to. Of course, I would never call twice in a row and if it was a girl's turn to call me and she didn't I would forget about her. I figured I would treat people the way I want to be treated and be a man about it, and things would fall into place. I couldn't find any holes in the theory, but for some reason I was losing women, but ONLY the girls I had interest in. I decided to start paying careful attention to my convos with girls I liked and girls I would keep around for boring nights, and I finally discovered the ONE difference that has made ALL the difference. Every time I was on the phone with a girl I liked, I would treat the call like a sales call, and I would make sure to set up something that would continue our conversations, like saying, "I'll call you this weekend", or "Call me when you get off work." When I talked to a girl that I didn't care about, I would end every conversation with "I talk to you later", because I really didn't care if I talked to them this weekend or after work or anytime at all! This is huge because 1. It shows your confident that you are gonna talk to the girl again and you don't need to set anything up and 2. It eliminates the waiting game. If I end a convo with "I'll talk to you later" and the next day I feel like seeing the girl, I can ring her up because I don't have to wait until it's "her turn" to call me, and vice versa. Now I have girls calling me all the time!

Clifford: Good to hear from you even if it's waaaaaaayyyyy overdue! Good stuff! You've come a long way from that time we were at Rik's in Santa Monica where the chick asked if you were old enough to be in there....!

A guru master: I was recently giving someone a consultation and he asked me a very interesting question about how to handle women that don't talk. Here is the advice that I gave him.....

HOW TO GET HER TO OPEN UP AND TALK TO YOU WHEN SHE IS CLOSED DOWN OR SHY: I learned this trick from the greatest hypnotist who ever lived, Milton Erickson. Milton calls this technique Frustration of Speech and it is VERY effective. Sometimes when you're trying to nail an HB , and you're fluffing with her, she is too damn quiet. This can be very frustrating because she answers almost all of your questions with a simple yes or no answer. It's not that she is turned off by you, she's just quiet. Here's the cure:

What you do is very simple. You ask her a question, any question, and when you see her getting ready to answer, you ask another question. And each time her mouth movements get under way, the next question is asked. She will tend to speak impulsively. With the girl who wants to be mute, you ask a question, just start a pause, and don't give her a chance to respond. With the next question you wait, but not quite long enough. You're so earnest, and it frustrates them until they say,"Will you shut up and let me talk already?"

Another thing you can try that always works is to prescribe the symptom. In other words, you encourage her to not talk in such a way that she WANTS to talk. There are an infinite number of ways you can go about this, such as saying something like,"You've just met me, and I don't know you, and you don't know me. Since we are still strangers, there are some things that you will be comfortable and some things that you won't be comfortable discussing with me until you trust me. Therefore I don't want you to share with me anything that you don't want to. I ONLY want you to open up to me in any slow way you wish."

Something like that will do. Of course, you will word it differently depending on the girl and context. The point is that you are encouraging her to stay the same in such a way that she will feel compelled to start opening up. And what they do is SELECT. They think,"Can I dare tell this or not? I can withhold it, but I guess I can tell this one..." They always vote in favor of telling. They postpone the telling, but that's what withholding is.

Franky the Tux:
> Ciz: I have been formulating a theory lately. Here goes. Chicks with low self esteem need outside validation and are much too turned off by guys who are too hot for them. These chicks seek to be surrounded by guys who are less hot than they are in order to buttress their self image. Chicks with regular self esteem accept guys on their level of looks. Chicks with an inflated sense of self esteem, usually go for much hotter guys than themselves and seek the ability to dominate the much hotter guys. So, how does this apply to PU ? We need to PU girls with low self esteem only if they are intrinsically very hot, say 8-10. The girls with inflated self esteem, we ought to bust their balls (ala Sis and Mystery neg hit), and if we are comparable in looks to the average self esteemed chicks we should be direct (ala Mark B). In the case we are less hot than a girl with average self esteem, then we should bust their balls/ neg hit. And, finally, for the case of the low rating HB / UG borderline with low self esteem, we must compliment them to build them up so that they can accept us being hotter than them.

Franky the Tux: I think Ciz has broken the code with this one. After enduring all the arguments between Ross, Mys, Sys, a local pick-up guru, etc. Ciz's post made me consider that maybe they are all correct - they're just correct about different types of women. If the differences in self esteem create different responses to PU tactics, then that would explain why a particular technique would work and not another. I hope this is explored further. Even if it doesn't turn out to be true it's good example of "thinking outside the box".

Jake: Clifford passed along: [donning my flame suit here]
> Ross: No, no, no. Thanks, but no thanks. I appreciate the time invested in writing the advice, but you don't understand.THE...CAMERA...HATES...ME.

Jake: Uh, Ross? You do realize this is pure hallucination on your part don't you? How, specifically, do you know what the emotional states of the camera are? Last I heard, cameras are dead. They are inert. They have no feelings. Maybe I've been mistaken all of these years. As you seem to be claiming that you're privy to the secret life of cameras and their emotional states, would you mind sharing how you know that every single camera ever made, or will ever be manufactured, hates you? Are you saying that no camera anywhere, can EVER like you?
> MB: Most women do not approach me either but irrespective of looks smiling at them and making eye contact seems to elicit the same from them and sometimes if they are so inclined they may say "hello" or "hi" first or make some general comment. Then it's up to you. I also found that having a relaxed face works well in appearing harmless and most women approach me when I feel most relaxed and easy. For some reason having a very relaxed face works very well. Anyone suspect why? Ross maybe you know?

Jake: Maybe you look like you just got laid when you're relaxed.

Thorsten:
> Ross: I'm going to let everyone know how the new pic works out. Proof sheets should be in tomorrow for review.

Thorsten: I had an idea, what you can use additionally to an optimized photo. You could put a reference in your reply mail for an internet site, where she can get additional information on you, and another photo, just pique her interest enough, and tell her to turn her sound on. When she gets to the internet page, you let a recorded VOICE MESSAGE play automatically, and you have the opportunity to work with her to her ear, and you can use all your voice experience then. My impression is, that she will be more willing to call you, because she knows your voice anyway. My first thought was to set up a 0800 or I think in the States it is 1800 number, where she can call and get your voice, but this one is much easier. I did not test it yet, though. Please tell me what you think of the idea. Combined with your letter and pics, it may be the missing piece.

Fourier:
> Jeff: (Commenting on: "Sis recommends just casually introducing yourself, making her laugh and being cocky, and acting disinterested and even aloof, creating a little doubt in her mind that you might not really be interested in her. Mystery's method seems somewhat similar, using negs and creating social proof and being entertaining using a rehearsed routine. Your strategy seems so simple I almost can't believe you're getting away with saying the shit you're saying."):
> MB: It's extremely simple. I say "Hello. My name is Mark. I could not help but notice you. I think you are stunning." I get her response and then I say "I wanted to let you know that you are hot, I find you attractive and it would be great if we had a chance to get to know each other for the possibility of having great times together and perhaps many nights filled with passion." That's it. Then she will say "I have a boyfriend," " I am married," "It takes time for me before I sleep with someone," "I need to be romanced or know someone better," blah blah blah...... The basis for this approach is that it fishes out the potential from the non potential right away. This approach virtually guarantees that you will encounter resistance but that is the whole point for any resistance she gives you is a way of her telling you what issues you need to address before she sleeps with you or agrees to go out. Most men think that resistance or objections equals rejection and that is why they avoid being up front in favour of being more subtle, i.e. cocky, funny patterns, etc. To me when a woman says "I need to get to know a guy better," she is telling me what it will take to get her and more importantly she is not saying "fuck off, asshole" which is rejection. Objections and raising of concerns are not rejection. Most people, though, see any signs of resistance as rejection which it is not. This, I believe, is where most people draw the wrong conclusions and favour being anything but up front in the hope of warming her up to you thus avoiding any resistance later. In my way, you still have to warm her up but you do it after you make your intent known and this is where I can be cocky, funny, use patterns, etc. The advantage to my method is that at least you know what you need to do and you also know whether she is open to your initial suggestion - this is the key for you do not want to waste your time if she is not at all interested or never would be no matter what you do."):"

Fourier: You make a good point, anything a woman (or any person for that matter) says is not a solid truth, but rather a reflection of her thoughts at that moment in time. You are not fazed by them whatever they are, rather they give you feedback about what she is thinking and with that feedback you can choose your course of action. (For example: loosen her up, create a better connection, tone down her attitude...) But I don't agree on melding this into a strategy just like that. If you tell a girl right away you want her, sure you can still pull her, and sure many will be pulled, BUT she would have folded for other more generally applicable methods, too! (and likely even easier) If we look at this approach objectively, we see that it raises her self-esteem and puts you in a lower position. Ok, no sweat, doesn't matter with most chicks (assuming you have sufficient verbal skills and emotional mastery). But what if you want to nail the girl behind the bar who gets attention from ALL THE GUYS ALL THE TIME? Or what if you want to screw a model? By being this blunt, you might blow your chances right away. Why use a dubious approach, when there are better ones around? Tell the model you like her leather boots and where she got them because you want a female friend (with bad fashion sense) to go shop there, too. Tell the girl sitting next to you in the train that you like her rings and where did she get them? Always the same thing. IMO, you had a good insight, but just stash it with the rest of your knowledge... it'll come to you when necessary.
> "I tried something like this recently. I met this HB for coffee and we had a very nice time after grapho deck and some patterns but obviously it didn't last because I didn't see her again after that. Then after several months I decided to give her call and I told her I thought we connected pretty good and I thought she was absolutely beautiful and that I wanted to be with her. She said, "I don't know about that because I'm just starting to see someone who I really like." Then she told me to call her and I called a few days later and she said she couldn't talk because she was with her borefriend so I decided to back off for now and haven't called again. Comments?"

Fourier: Ok, you blew this one now so let it cool off, maybe call her again in a few months if you have any reason to want this particular chick, I mean, there are chicks everywhere. Then again, the mere practice is reason enough ;-). Call her and tell her that you found her number, and that you have some vague recollection of having a great convo, let her help you bring back some memories about it, then tell her that you have to go but want to continue the 'nice conversation' and that you want to have a drink with her. set the date right then and there. If she brings up your botched phone convo, say "Oh yeah, that was you, I remember" laugh, "How silly.. anyway, when the grapho deck showed "

Mark B.: Check out www.batteredmen.com . Interesting site for being able to deal with crazy women. This actually put in perspective many things that happened with me and women in the past that were not my fault.

Here is a scenario that happened to me a few days ago. To all members of the list, if you have comments and insight as to what she meant and what I could have done I welcome the suggestions. I went to Sears (department store) to get some skin foundation for myself. BTW I am not some cross dresser but I have skin blemishes and when I need to make an important appearance I prefer to cover them up. This hot looking girl helped me out who I had asked to join me for lunch before but she said no. I started off being funny and silly and made some silly sexual innuendo jokes which she did not appreciate and backed off from me. Then I went quiet said little but just looked at her and smiled as she rubbed the shit on my face to see what shade I should get. I listened to her and allowed her to talk. Her whole demeanor changed. She smiled more all of a sudden and became more open and friendly. In the end she says "You know, Mark, I am not this conservative, you know. I know how to have fun and can get pretty wild at times." I said "what do you mean?" She said "I cannot tell you because I would not want you to tell all my secrets." I walked off and then thought "Man, she was obviously making myself available for me since I did not ask her out after she said no before and now maybe she changed her mind and wanted to let me know she is open to having fun." Perhaps this was her way of letting me know I should make a move and maybe she was telling me rather than tell me she would rather show me how much fun she likes to have and how wild she can be? I am not very good at picking up on these things as when they happen I am not sure how to take them and what to do. Any advice on what she said and what I should do in these situations?

Gregory Rasputin: I happened to try Mark's theory on openness about sex, and I have to tell you it's transforming me. I thought I was the shit for so long, because I could make up my own patterns, and actually influence girls' thinking. I thought I was the shit because I'd go for the kiss when I wanted it, and because I'd have such charming things to say, but I opened a whole new world for myself when I started just being open. Now, I bet you all think you're open enough, but take this into consideration: my girlfriend and I just made out a couple of times, we'd touch each other all the time, but the sexual activity would have to come in private, when we're alone, and the mood is worked up. Now, my girl basically wants to screw around all the time, because I encourage her to be open with me. By telling her how I feel all the time, she feels greater trust in me, and tells me stuff I've never heard from girls before. For example, we were making out, and I got an erection. Normally, I'd just ignore it, but this time following Mark's advice I just told her. I was like "look at what you did to me", she was absolutely beaming. Ever since that incident, I'd tell her when I'm horny any time that I was, and it didn't sound horny or dirty, she knew I was just being honest and open. Ever since then she'd try to get me turned on and ask how I'm doing down there, and our relationship got so much better. Not only that, but as an effect of what I do, she encourages her girlfriends to be just as open, so my buddies are better off too cuz they mess with her friends. Everyone here should be that open with their girls, trust me, it'll make your relationships infinitely less complicated.