FR: What to do when her angry husband calls

Cliff asked me to write this. who can say no to him :-)

This post is the natural companion to my previous report. Sex with married women. As surely as night follows day. If you play regularly in this space you will get caught once in a while by the angry husband. Life becomes a whole lot less fun at this point, and is down right scary at times.

First a quick recap (better yet read the report), I am in a platonic relationship for the sake of my children and sick wife, so some fun on the side with a like minded lady is all good in fact it is awesome.

Second some serious caveats. Each woman and angry husband will be different. There are no set rules for this stuff. Its totally situational. I will tell you what has worked for me. But use your common sense, trust your gut and avoid confrontations whenever they may arise.

Third I want to make this crystal clear. I have had death threats at work from people who allegedly could follow through. Is that visceral enough for you.

I will do this as the situation and then give you what I think are ground rules to follow if you can.

My first sex only GF contacted me through Ashley Madison. She picked me. Her relationship had been in a mess for several years. Overweight, alcoholic, dope smoking husband, needed medication to have sex. Control freak who wouldnt let her have any friends. She had had several affairs and been found out once before. I found all this out during the relationship (not my usual type of lady). Lets call her A. A fell hard for me and took notes of what we did. A likes erotic literature and writes it very passably. We did new and exciting things for her and she found she is one of those rare women who can have an anal orgasm. She went wild for it and I taught her lots of other stuff. Normally I wouldnt give specifics but her husband hated intensely that I got her arse and he never had.

Anyway lets cut to the chase. A stopped sleeping with hubby. Hubby smells a rat and goes through her things. Hubby finds her notes and copies of texts she had saved that talk about her new skills. Hubby gets very angry then he hits pay dirt. He found my business card. Like a fool I had given it to her. (I am an idiot!!) A warned me that hubby had found out and she had told him it was all over and there was no way she was giving me up. Hubby takes a day and then writes to me at my work email! Trust me this is enoromously confronting. He knows where I work, my name, where I live, everything. But good news. All he wants is for me to stop seeing her otherwise he will kill me!

What did I do? Firstly, I rang A then sent her the email so we both had the same info. Then I asked her really whats he like, is he violent? Could he do this? What does he really know and what has she told him about me. Bad news, he is violent, he is not likely to do it himself but he is a drug dealer (just dope on the side) and has a few tough friends. Ummm this was not good. She hadnt told him much about me. But when I wrote back I wanted to make sure I was consistent with what he knew and didnt give him any more information. Next I spoke to a friend who is a psychologist, useful friend at times like this. I told him the truth and said what do I do? He said validate him, deflect him and give him what he wants and he should go away.

So I sent him this note about 3 hours after I got his.

"M sorry for your pain. I was approached on an internet site. I am a symptom not a cause of your issues. You need to talk to A. Best of luck I wont be seeing her anymore." I sent this note from a private email. No way I wanted to acknowledge his note and reply to it on my work email. That would be crazy.

I sent A a copy of this note and waited. Short story is after lots of pain she left him and is still going through the financial part of the break up. I still see her, I am sentimental and she still orgasms that special way, which is super hot. She is very energetic! She knows it is just fun for me, but still hopes to change my mind, which is not going to happen.

M contacted me (on the private email about two months later), warning me to stay away from her or else!. Again I asked her what he could know? She said nothing. She never talks about me and no one knows she is still seeing me. Its just that M said she could see anyone but him (me). Again with the "I got her arse" thing. So I consulted my psychologist friend again. He said this time go back hard and tell him to leave you alone. So I sent this to him.

"Why are you bothering me again? I admitted it when you wrote to me last time. I havent seen her since. Leave me alone." I havent heard from him again.

So what rules have I learned from this.

1. Never give her your business card. I will spend some time on this. It is really, never give up your identity. Of course like all good intentions this one is impossible to keep. Better stated as, pick ones that are discreet and only tell them who you are if you absolutely have to. But never give them your business card. Again there are times when you have to, or you lose her. The choice is yours, the girl or your identity. Tough choice. I resolved never to give my card out again. Then I met Steph, CEO of a consulting company, body of a porn star and looks of model. She gave me her card, told me I was the one she had been looking for and then asked for my card. Ummm I gave it to her. Naturally, like all dreams come true, she has cold feet at the moment and is currently having second thoughts on stepping out on hubby. Rome wasnt built in a day and I will break down this wall, all it requires is patience, commitment to the cause and charm.

2. When caught, validate his pain, deflect him (you really are only a symptom) exit the relationship, and wish him good luck. But you didnt exit the relationship I hear you say. True, but I would given the chance over again. Its not worth the risk. All my GFs know they cant be my GF unless they give me my favourite. Its never been a problem, if a woman wants you she will give you what you want sexually. Also, all girls do something that little bit better than other women. Again a bit of a digression. I have been in this awkward circumstance for nearly 20 years. I had paid for a lot of sex (hundreds and hundreds of women). In the last five years I have been able to afford whatever I want. Pornstars, actresses you name the type, I have indulged myself. I have found pornstars and actresses quite a disappointment, the more you pay for sex the more disappointing it can be at times. Another thread for another time. I will tell you this though the average quality of sex in an affair is mindblowingly incredible. The average quality of sex from random hookups and paid sex is well, average. When a woman commits to an affair she gives you everything she has. Normally she has been neglected and when the dam breaks its like Krakatoa erupting (famous volcanic eruption, look it up) every time!

3. If your GF somehow finds out about another GF. (Trust me they are incredibly possessive and watch you like a hawk for any signs, lets face it you are having an affair, you have form!). Deny it and cover up, then blame her for being possessive and nosy and say you have to end it with her if she cant trust you. It has worked for me. If they are submissive before this you aint seen nothing yet. Dont let it go to your head though. Be a gentleman and be very very careful. After all you could lose two hard won GFs.

Have fun, be careful and remember be a gentleman. :-)